


The Absolute Protection

by usei



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Character Death, Dark Past, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Depression, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:02:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usei/pseuds/usei
Summary: Yoo Kihyun is a famous singer who is on the rise for the past 5 years. Don’t know what exactly happened, there are some various death letters addressed to him. The manager was worried and asked Kihyun to hire a personal bodyguard to protect him. Lee Hoseok suggested someone, namely his childhood friend Son Hyunwoo who had resigned from being a bodyguard of the Lee family due to past regrets.This is my first showki fic ever in this archive. Please be kind to me, hehehe. Happy reading!
Relationships: Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 94
Kudos: 167





	1. You Need Someone to Protect You; The Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : MX + wonho aren't mine, but the plot in this story is mine. If there is a similarity between places and events, the it is purely an coincidence.
> 
> A/N : I know that this is some kind of cliche setting ( bodyguard-singer setting ) but I need to write it out from my head. If you don’t like this kind of story, you can stop from here. I get so bored and I think writing some showki fic gonna help my mind from collapsing during this pandemic ahahaha. English is not my first language so please bear with me. I’ll try to translate it carefully but I can’t do good grammar. This is my first showki fic in this fandom.

The way all started was too cruel to him. Every day in the middle of the night, he awoke, shouting out his name and life. Regret accompanied by fear crept up from toe to crown of his head. He sat, heavy panting. Sweat pouring down his temples. He tried hard to normalize his breathing. Worries rose to the end of his life.

“Same nightmares.”

The corner of his eyes glanced at every corner of his bedroom. Worried about the unclear existence. _No one. Yes, no one_ . He just remembered that there was no one in his stately home. It's just him and the soft messy bed. It should be. There is _no one_ , except his shameful life.

The bedroom is full of silence which tickles hair on his neck. It made his head dizzy because of a series of bad scenarios that he repeated over and over in his head. He inhaled forcefully and exhaled slowly. Soon, his hand grabbed a glass of water on the nightstand, drinking its contents. After he managed to calm down to make sure there was no scary figure threatening his life, he tried to lie back down and go back to sleep. Going back to be overshadowed by the same nightmare. _Repeatedly_. Like a roll of film that automatically rotates in the center of his brain.

**~~oOo~~**

"Good morning," he greeted, smiling at the old man who greeted him on the street. This is a routine he often does when he meets neighbors around his place of residence when he goes to work. He wore a white T-shirt, knee-length brown short and a hat. The weather today was quite sunny. It was a good decision to not bring a raincoat because his bag was so full. He carried a sports gym bag on his shoulder, walked a little clumsily, seemed to have difficulty moving due to the weight that might reach about 10 kg. It seemed that his breakfast this time would quickly drain away in his stomach because he had to carry such a heavy load since early morning.

His name is Son Hyunwoo. He is known as the best gym trainer in the area—according to the information from young mothers who even never come to the gym for exercise. His body is strong, musclely and towering—like a tower in the middle of a big city. His skin is slightly tanned, one shade darker than most Koreans—truly sexy, according to women and even men. Hyunwoo himself never thought about it, just trying to live his best without intending to attract attention.

In the past year, his life has improved. He was accepted to work at the biggest gym in town with a good salary after about 2 years of unemployment. It's not that he is someone who is lazy to work, or has a bad image so it is difficult to be accepted to work, it's just... he is trying to avoid the skills he is good at. Luckily he has another habit that has led him to this new job—working out—yes, it's quite fun.

Arriving at the gym, he got ready to do a training course for one of the gym members who just joined last week. Today he promised to lend his 10 kg dumbbell to the new trainer, which he carried by one shoulder. The new trainee admitted that he wanted to try practicing at home using the borrowed dumbbell before actually buying it himself. Of course, even though he just got to know each other, Hyunwoo did not hesitate to lend it.

"Thank you, Hyunwoo- _ssi_. I will borrow it only for a week."

"It's okay, Mr. Choi. Just relax. Now, we will do some stretching first before trying the treadmill, is it okay?" He said while touching Mr Choi's shoulder. The 35 year old man is in love with workouts after attending a training session given by his office a few weeks ago.

“Hyunwoo,” someone called out as he had just finished setting the treadmill for Mr. Choi. Hyunwoo briefly turned his head, looking for a figure who was calling. He forced a small smile.

"Ah, Hoseok. What's at this hour?" Hyunwoo took a glance at the clock hanging near them. One of his eyebrows rose when he saw the figure who called him in formal clothes, carrying a thick-looking blue folder. "You want to exercise in that outfit?" he continued.

The man's body was quite muscular, you can see from how the buttons on his blazer tried so hard to stay hooked. His body is well-built with the best posture. His face is also handsome with a cute smile and adorable ears. His skin is smooth white and shiny like a lotion ad actor. His body is a bit shorter than Hyunwoo but no less attractive. Sometimes, his flawless appearance makes the environment seem intimidating but Hyunwoo knows exactly how cute Hoseok is. Yes, Lee Hoseok, his childhood friend.

Such a strange thing, seeing Hoseok's presence at rush hour like this moment. Usually, Hoseok comes in the afternoon after work or maybe today he is on leave? Leave in a suit? You must be kidding.

Hoseok laughed, making hustle and bustle in the gym glancing at him.

"Of course not. I just stopped by for a moment. I happen to have a meeting with an artist in the next building for a new music project." Hoseok sat on a bench near them, paying attention to how Hyunwoo guided Mr. Choi did a light treadmill session for 15 minutes. Hoseok watched silently, self-consciously interfering Hyunwoo's work. If only this wasn't something urgent, Hoseok would have waited until he met Hyunwoo without having to force.

After the treadmill session ended, Mr. Choi took a short rest. Hyunwoo explained some things Mr. Choi needs to pay attention to when doing the treadmill. After that, he came to Hoseok, who was busy glancing at some fitness equipment that seemed brand new and he was interested in trying those another time.

"So," Hyunwoo swallowed hard. _Nothing ridiculous could have happened when he saw the super busy Hoseok coming to him at such an unusual hour_. He sat on the set of benches Hoseok had previously sat on. "What’s it?" His eyes glance over, watching Hoseok's serious expression. Hoseok took a deep breath while looking at Hyunwoo who pretended not to understand the situation. He handed Hyunwoo the blue folder that he had been holding.

His gaze moved from the blue folder to Hoseok's face over and over again. Hoseok didn't answer, forcely handed back the blue folder. Both Hoseok’s eyebrows rose, his chin rose giving the code for Hyunwoo to take it. Slowly, Hyunwoo opened the blue folder, the sheets felt familiar like a bio. There was a photo of a man he did not recognize on one of the sheets he read.

"His name is Yoo Kihyun. He's a singer who is on the rise for the last 5 years. He works under the same company as mine." Hoseok explained, because he knew how outdated Hyunwoo is about the world of celebrities. Hyunwoo rarely watched tv and listened to music—too busy with many activities.

"Hoseok—" Hyunwoo turned his head quickly. Trying to return the folder to Hoseok.

"It is not your fault, Hyunwoo. I have said it so many times, what happened to Changkyun is not your fault. This is the right time. Don't avoid what you can do. He needs your help." Hoseok understands. Always understand how wide Hyunwoo's heart is. He couldn’t see other people in distress.

"It's not like I'm the only one who can help him. He's a famous person, right? He can find a better person using his abundance of wealth."

"But, the person I trust is only you, Hyunwoo."

_Those words_ . He never hated those words. Those words he hated so much only when Hoseok said it. _Trust_. Once again Hoseok talks about his faith in a person who once broke the trust itself.

**~~oOo~~**

"Did you receive another threatening letter?" Manager Park shouted hysterically. She massaged her temples so hard, while trying to control the irregular heartbeat. She walked around in the same place while the person he was talking to was silently watching television.

"Yes." The answer was calm. His eyes were flat on the television. His body leaned back on the brown sofa, trying to comfort himself. He felt his stomach roar in hunger, it seemed like sandwiches and coffee were his breakfast this morning.

"At times like this you still keep calm and watch television?" Manager Park shouted louder. It felt like she wanted to hit her head against the wall so that the dizziness would go away. "You're really ridiculous, Kihyun."

Even though couldn't be seen, the man called Kihyun was so nervous. He twisted his own fingers behind the sofa cushion. He always tries to cover up his anxiety in front of the manager. Last night, he couldn’t sleep, _again_. The nightmare came frequently almost everyday. It felt like someone would come to his bedroom and then choke his neck with cold hands that he could not imagine. Every time he remembered it, he felt breathless as if an imaginary hand was gripping his neck.

"I don't need a personal bodyguard. Enough with all the current security." He said, trying to be as calm as possible. "I don't like having other people in my house. They make a lot of noise. I don't like my house getting messy." Although that is not what he meant. Kihyun himself understands his current position. Especially when he returned home, he found a threatening letter typed simply on a 1980s typewriter right in front of his door.

"Fuck your idealism, Kihyun. You don't understand how worried I am? Can't you just try to calm my mind which is already full of how to manage your busy schedule?" The manager exclaimed in frustration. If only it wasn't a Yoo Kihyun she was dealing with, maybe Manager Park would have pulled the man's hair until bald. If she grabbed the man's hair bald, of course from the next moment she would be bald in the hands of Kihyun's fans.

"But..."

"No but. Producer Lee has already contacted his acquaintance."

"I didn’t say that I agree—"

"Kihyun, I beg you," the manager said softly. The woman who is 8 years older than him is really fussy, sometimes irritating Kihyun. But Kihyun understands how much she loves him. She is like an older sister to Kihyun, even so the woman considers him as family.

This series of events made the manager's stress level reach its maximum, making Kihyun worried about the woman’s one month pregnancy. Kihyun asked the woman to take a leave during her pregnancy, but after hearing the news about the death threat Kihyun received, the woman gave up her intention of taking time off and continued to force Kihyun to have a personal bodyguard.

Producer Lee Hoseok, one of his company's talented music producers, says he has an acquaintance that he has a lot of confidence in—in terms of protecting and investigating. In a closed meeting between the CEO, Kihyun and Manager Park, Hoseok advised to not bring up the news about the threat Kihyun got to the media, so that the perpetrator won’t realize that Kihyun would hire a personal bodyguard. The Hoseok family is experienced in bodyguard affairs because Hoseok's grandfather was a state politician and his grandfather's daily activities were accompanied by reliable bodyguards.

He stared at the manager's eyes. Sweats down her beautiful face. Worry filled the expression on her face. Kihyun took a deep breath.

"Fine. My decision applies once. Bring him to me. If I don't like how it works, I'll cancel my decision." With a heavy heart, Yoo Kihyun gave in, for the sake of an older sister he loves. Manager Park's smile widened.

**~~oOo~~**

Sweat was pouring under Hyunwoo's shirt after exercising for a while on the treadmill. The training session with Mr. Choi and some of the other members ended an hour ago, but Hyunwoo used to exercise before going home. Some of his fellow gym trainers said goodbye first.

He took a towel by the side of the bench and wiped it all over his face. His eyes catched the existence of a blue folder that has been neglected since Hoseok's departure. He sighed, took out the blue folder and put it in his empty gym bag—the 10 kg weight had disappeared by Mr Choi using his own bag. His feet stepped into the staff bathroom for showering. During the showering, his mind wandered around.

> _None of it is your fault, Hyunwoo. Don't keep blaming yourself._

"It's all my fault, Hoseok. If only I were a better person, maybe Changkyun...” He talked to himself. Turning off the shower faucet, noticing how the foam and soap disappeared from his sight. Like his guts vanishing blow by the wind. Slowly but sure.

Arriving at home, Hyunwoo felt his stomach was so hungry. He looked out at the refrigerator—there were some eggs, tofu, soy sauce and kimchi given by neighbors. Hyunwoo used to live alone ever since that incident. He can cook for himself even though sometimes the neighbors come to bring him food like kimchi or bibimpab. Such a cute story of how a young girl unwillingly brings kimchi to Hyunwoo because her mother ordered her to. The girl said, Hyunwoo is too old to be the boyfriend of a high school girl like her. So, she refused to be arranged with Hyunwoo and also because the girl already has a boyfriend. She was forced to deliver kimchi to Hyunwoo because her mother wanted her child to be coupled with him. Hyunwoo softly chuckled when he heard the story.

In fact, Hyunwoo never intended to set himself up with any girl or any man. It’s just the neighbors trying to make Hyunwoo their son-in-law so badly. Even so, he knew that there was no bad intention behind all of this. His neighbors worry about him living alone. He doesn't understand why his neighbors like him so much even though Hyunwoo himself feels that he is like a robot and rarely makes expressions.

While chewing his homemade fried rice, he looked for the whereabouts of his cellphone. He just remembered that his cellphone was still in his gym bag. He reached into the gym bag. Instead of finding the cell phone, his eyes find Hoseok's blue folder first. He sighed heavily. He put the folder on the table. His eyes returned to focus on the folder, pausing for a moment. He took the folder, unpacked it and read it once again.

> _Yoo Kihyun, 27 years old. Younger than him by about one year. Starting singing as a career 5 years ago. He is so famous that even his album sales always reach the highest records. He is known as the next voice of an angel in these generations._

Another sigh of breath, accompanied by a headache. His back leaned roughly against the side of the chair. His cell phone rang, indicating an incoming message. He grabbed the cellphone that was on the table and opened the message that had just received.

> **Lee Hoseok** : So?

He stared at a photo of a man on the table. _Yoo Kihyun_. A man who looks handsome and pretty at the same time. A man who needs his help. A man who might be a substitute for his regret. A man who might be able to treat his wound as one who failed to protect. A man who might be able to end his suffering. A man who might be a testament to Hoseok's words.

He dialed a number to make a call, put the cell phone to his ear and waited for someone to answer.

_"Hello?"_

"I agree to do it."

Hyunwoo would risk everything he has for the end of his regret.

In another place, Hoseok's eyes lit up. He smiled in relief while looking at a photo of three figures in his hand. Hoseok could feel the arrival of salvation for his childhood friend.

"Thank you, Hyunwoo. Good luck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : This is gonna be a slow build story so please bear with me (again). I haven’t fully decided on the Rating. Additional tags will be updated if necessary. I already wrote chapter 2 but still not in english. I’ll feel so grateful if you give me some review. Any kind of criticism will be welcomed! Thank you for reading my story. See ya in the next chapter!


	2. An Exhausted Day; They Met

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : If there is a similarity between places and events, then it is purely a coincidence.
> 
> A/N : Hello, it’s me again! As I mentioned before in chapter 1, I’ve written chapter 2 so it took a shorter time to update. Sorry for my bad english huuhuuhuu i feel so sorry. I'm a bad writer but I'll try my best. I hope it still can deliver the story well to you. Happy reading!

"How was it? Have you met your personal bodyguard candidate? How does he look? Is he attractive? Oh I know, he is ugly that’s why your face is so sour. Right? Am I right? Hey, Kihyun, am I right?" The silver haired man whispered as he shook Kihyun's body. He always annoys Kihyun with the consecutive questions he keeps asking before he even gets a direct answer from the source.

"Tsk, you're so loud, Minhyuk. I told you, don’t be noisy about it," Kihyun squeaked. He pulled out his brown hair in frustration, worried about the eavesdropping around them. His foot tread impatiently. He wanted to escape from the imprisonment of his new bodyguard. What an annoying day.

"Don't say that. I know that you love me," The silver haired man, Lee Minhyuk, grinned widely. His index finger started to play, poked Kihyun's cheek repeatedly, teasing him. "So? I could die if you don’t tell me what happened right away."

Kihyun brushed Minhyuk's finger roughly. His tongue clicked. His eyes glared at Minhyuk's grinning face. He knew exactly how the man was acting. Not a strange thing to see Minhyuk so curious about something. Especially embarrassing things related to Kihyun. The man loves to tease Kihyun.

A sigh escaped from Kihyun. He pouted. His chin moved up, pointing in a direction at the corner of the stage. Minhyuk's eyes glanced over, following the direction indicated by Kihyun's chin. Instantly his eyes widened as he found out there were two exotic figures standing side by side while chatting. Minhyuk's head turned slowly, looking back at Kihyun with a shocked expression. His mouth was wide open. His voice stopped at the tip of his tongue.

"Are you serious… that guy? He is so fucking hot. Oh my god, you are such a lucky bitch." The silver haired man turned his head back to the same two figures, shaking his head repeatedly. His mouth kept on babbling incessantly. "Wow, he looks superior together with Hoseok- _hyung_. They seem to be the same age. Look at how they chat. Oh look at them laughing. Too dazzling. I can't stand it." His hands made a dramatic motion as if they had been exposed to the dazzling effects of the two men.

"Don't be so exaggerating, Minhyuk. Hyunwoo is annoying. He keeps following me like a robot even when I go to the toilet. It's annoying," Kihyun hissed. His tone clearly implied how annoyed Kihyun was with the new guy. Although briefly, his eyes met the bodyguard’s in the distance. Suddenly Kihyun felt awkward when the bodyguard bowed his head respectfully towards Kihyun. He understood very well how those eyes continued to highlight Kihyun wherever he was, it felt like he was stripped naked in public. Being stripped naked in public? Kihyun shuddered as remembering what happened early in the morning. The day hasn’t fully worked out but Kihyun was already feeling fed up.

"Because it’s his job! You will get used to it. Wait, his name is Hyunwoo? A good name for a hot man, _uh huh_ . Actually I imagine you will get a super muscled old bodyguard with a big chin like in the MIB movie. But _wow_ , he is beyond perfect." Minhyuk explained, while twisting the tip of his own hair. He continued, "He doesn’t seem annoying to me. I’ll be happily followed by him all day." His hands made free gestures in the air, made everything seem dramatic.

"I am not that easy like you."

"That’s hurt, _bro_. Don't play hard to get. I know that he is your type of man."

"You don't know anything."

"How long do you think I've been your best friend, _huh_ ? I'm a _rare_ creature who can understand the complexities in your complicated head, Ki. Don't ever compare me to Hyungwon, because he spends more time sleeping than understanding what’s in your head." Minhyuk folded his arms across his chest, giving Kihyun pouty pink lips. It seemed that Mihyuk's make-up wasn’t too bold, the color of his lips looked like his real lips. Even the eyeshadow was thin. But regardless of the shape, Mihyuk was born with an attractive face even without makeup.

"Whatever." Kihyun got goosebumps. Feeling a pair of eyes looking back at him from a far away. He quickly turned around, his back facing the person who kept glaring at him. Hoping that those eyes stop eyeing him and disappear from the earth.

"When will he live with you?" Minhyuk grinned widely. Kihyun glared.

"I need to see how it works for a week to consider."

"That's too long! He should stay with you right away, today if can!" Minhyuk exclaimed, insisting. Apart from wanting to tease him, Mihyuk wanted his best friend to have protection as soon as possible.

"Don't force me. This is the best I can do. I don't want to live with someone who doesn't fit my lifestyle." Minhyuk hummed in disappointment to hear that. Disappointed but not surprised.

"But," Minhyuk stared straight to Kihyun's eyes. There was a sense of relief in those eyes. Even though it was annoying, Kihyun understood how worried Minhyuk was about the problem that was happening to Kihyun this time. "I'm really glad you got the right person to protect you. He looks like a really nice person."

"You know what. You don’t know him yet." Kihyun chucked at Mihyuk's words just now. Minhyuk punched his arm. Kihyun complained in pain.

"I just know by his looks. Trust me. I have confidence over my instincts." Minhyuk made a slow distance from where Kihyun was standing, his hands waving in the air. "Okay, I have a shoot in the studio next door. See you later. Don't forget to introduce me to your sexy bodyguard!" He winked flirtatiously then ran fast before Kihyun gave off a killing aura. Quickly, Minhyuk was out of sight. Kihyun smiled. He knows how busy Minhyuk has been lately—a new album project and also modeling together with Hyungwon. Mihyuk's popularity is unquestionable. His schedule is so tight that it even collided with Kihyun’s schedule. There is absolutely no free time at the same time. However, Minhyuk always spared a time even if it was a moment to listen to Kihyun's complaints and vice versa. He is very grateful to have friends like Minhyuk. Like being accompanied by the summer sun and you will never feel lonely.

"Mr Yoo." Kihyun felt footsteps approaching. He sighed heavily before turning around to find a man with black hair in a black suit. His body fit in the suit, with broad and solid shoulders. He really looks big in Kihyun's eyes and seems intimidating. He is much taller than the average staff, making Kihyun's neck stiff every time he looked up to see his face. "Manager Park told me that you should come to the make-up room right away because the shooting starts in an hour." The man continued—smiling awkwardly. The man's cheek was slightly reddened—it was obvious if you saw him from such a close distance. Instantly Kihyun was upset to see the awkward smile and red cheek of his work.

Kihyun's eyes widen, looking for Hoseok's laughing figure from a distance. His mood was getting worse, remembering Hoseok's laughter this morning, when Hoseok and Manager Park brought someone to visit his house when Kihyun had just finished taking a shower. Then the incident happened.

**~~oOo~~**

In the morning around 7, Kihyun woke up with eye bags. Honestly, his eyes just closed without actually falling asleep. The dream keeps repeating itself. His head felt so dizzy, he didn't feel like getting up from the soft bed. Only when the sun is still on a high position, Kihyun calms down and falls asleep. The light shining through the opened curtains and the smell of fabric softener still clung to the sheets, made him relax a little. However, when the light sun on the world disappears, Kihyun's life will be dim.

But, it couldn’'t be like this.

He remembered that there was a schedule for live broadcasting on one of the national televisions before noon. Surely, there will be many fans. Because the day was the first day he would sing live since the first time he got the death letter. He won't disappoint the fans, not at all. However, he needed to emphasize that his body condition wasn’t in good shape. He really needed sleep. He needed something to make his head think clearly again now. His body got up from the bed with a heavy heart, stepped slowly out of his bedroom on the second floor. His feet descended the stairs to the mingled majestic room.

The living room, the dining room and the kitchen are connected to each other without any walls between them. The living room and dining room are separated by a small garden with a tree. The roof is partially using glass so the lighting is perfect. The room is surrounded by large glass windows so you can see to the terrace and the pool without the slightest dead spot. Around the swimming pool there are gardens that adorn it, some of the pots are planted with Kihyun's favorite flowers. The room looks huge with good lighting so you can see wherever the corner of the room is, indicating Yoo Kihyun who loves freedom. However, from a different perspective, the mansion borders the outside world with high gapless walls that emphasize the privacy of Yoo Kihyun's life.

He stepped towards the outdoor garden, opened the glass door that connected to the living room. The morning wind wiped away his complaints, raising Kihyun's spirit. He walked towards the swimming pool while slowly removing his clothes. He needed to cool his head. The tip of his feet touched the surface of the water, _brrr_ , a little cold but that was the punch that Kihyun's body needed. He hung his clothes on a lounge bench by the pool. Leaving his shorts on, he plunged into the cold water without noticing the shock sensation along his skin.

The swimming sessions were enough to make him regain his senses. He was gasping as soon as his nose got to the surface, taking in as much oxygen as possible. His body appeared and sank in the middle of the 3 meter deep pool. Slowly, he moved towards the edge of the pool, setting foot on the higher floor of the pool. He wiped his bangs back, his feet stepping out of the pool. Immediately he headed for the bathroom which is right next to the dining room. In fact, that bathroom is for guests because Kihyun has a private bathroom in his own bedroom. But considering that he doesn't bring a towel, it's more efficient to use a bathroom that is clearly closer, right?

So that was what he thought.

  
  


**~~oOo~~**

"Good morning, Producer Lee." Manager Park bowed as she saw Hoseok peering through the car window. The woman promised to bring Hoseok and the candidate bodyguard to meet Kihyun this morning at the singer's house. The two parties met right in front of their agency office.

"Morning, Park," Hoseok greeted, smiling. "Where is the house?" He refocused on the steering wheel, gesturing to the manager to get into his car after being told the direction they were going to go together. The manager opened the car door and her shoulders shrugged in surprise when she found a young man wearing a black suit and white shirt—like the appearance of a man who wants to apply for a job—smiling awkwardly at her. The man shifted his seat slightly so that the manager could sit next to him.

"Hello. Could it be Son Hyunwoo?" the woman asked curiously. He was told by Hoseok the name of the candidate yesterday. The man she greeted smiled and said _yes_. They shook hands and introduced themselves. Happily, the manager called his name 'Hyunwoo' because the man asked for it.

"Oh, I never thought that—"

"You must be surprised by his appearance, huh?" Hoseok asked with a bombastis laugh.

Manager Park laughed, "I think he will look like an old man who is full of bittersweet life. But now I find him looks like a model."

"But his personality is like an old man, though." Hoseok's laughter echoed, he almost forgot he was driving. He returned to focus, refraining from teasing Hyunwoo. Manager Park raised an eyebrow in surprise when she heard that.

"You describe it too well, Miss Park. I understand what you're thinking. The word _'bodyguard'_ has quite an intense effect on our brains." Hyunwoo exclaimed, the corners of his eyes glancing at the Manager and gave her a smile. Hyunwoo's voice sounds flat, awkward and funny, especially his tone. Manager Park laughed out loud once again.

"I'm really sorry. I’m surprised. At least I’m calm now because Kihyun will live with someone this handsome." She continued giggling. Hyunwoo's eyes returned to focus on the road that was traversed. In fact, he was still worried about something in his heart. Plus the option he had to live with a stranger who would stick to him all the time.

"I'm sorry. I'm still not sure about living with him," Hyunwoo exclaimed, sighing slightly. Manager Park felt bad about letting go of things that both parties have not agreed to.

Seeing the manager's expression, Hoseok spoke up. "It's okay. He's just not used to it, Park. Hyunwoo isn’t an ordinary bodyguard. Previously, he was part of our family security. _Exclusively_. He never protected anyone but our family." Hoseok said, bringing the manager Park's curiosity even more.

"I thought you were just friends since childhood?"

"Not only that. Since childhood I have lived with the Lee family. We are like brothers." Hyunwoo chimed in, giving an answer. Park's gaze returned to Hyunwoo. "My father is Hoseok's grandfather's personal bodyguard. So we've known each other since childhood. Our family is very close. When I was a teenager I took special training provided by the Lee family. I don't know why I even became a bodyguard." The last sentence brought Hyunwoo to a light laughter session remembering the chaotic youth with Hoseok. However, there was absolutely no discomfort from his words.

"How come?"

Kihyun's house is quite far apart from a bunch of other houses with a high fence. The house is full of privacy that even their neighbors don't know who lives there. Hoseok's car stopped in front of the fence. He turned his body towards the manager behind the car seat.

"There have been several incidents. Because Hyunwoo attended a lot of special training such as the military at a young age, we asked for his help for some special occasions." Hoseok added, peeking at Park's face who was processing all the information at one time. "You know? _Some kind of responsibility and trust?_ You can't just give it to someone randomly."

Hoseok's gaze moved to the frozen Hyunwoo. Hoseok and Hyunwoo only stared at each other for the umpteenth time. Hyunwoo knitted his eyebrows deeply, making Hoseok's eyes glow with sadness. Swallowing regrets felt so hard for Hyunwoo and Hoseok knew even though it couldn't be read from his expression.

"Does that mean, Hyunwoo knows about the incident 5 years ago?" The manager asked innocently, his eyes perfectly rounded as the two men stared at her with a surprised expression. The woman put on an astonished face, wondering if there was something wrong with her words. The incident? Everyone in South Korea should know about it, right? Lee Hoseok's grandfather was a well-known politician who held a high position in the current government. Who doesn't know him? Wasn’t it strange if she asked about that?

The three of them were accompanied by silence until finally a cell phone rang to wake them back to the real world. Manager Park noticed his cell phone ringing and hurried to pick it up. It turned out that the live broadcasting team called Park to inform her about the changing of schedule. Awkwardly, the result of the tense atmosphere between them, manager Park tried to bring them into Kihyun's house by opening the fence of the house with a special key that only a few people Kihyun allowed to have. Nobody can enter the singer’s house freely.

"Please come in." The manager opened the passworded door easily. Shocked the two men behind her.

"It's strange. A house that looks so closed from the outside got death letters." Hyunwoo muttered, a little confused. Since his feet had stepped on the area of the house, he tried to observe the surroundings.

They stepped in. Not expecting that the contents of the house didn’t match their imaginations. Hoseok himself wasn’t that surprised at how clean and orderly the house was, after all he had worked with Kihyun a lot and knew exactly how Kihyun was.

"Kihyun?" Manager Park called, but there was no answer. She stepped in when Hoseok and Hyunwoo took off their shoes and put them on a shelf. The manager went to Kihyun's room on the second floor, worried that the singer had not woken up. Hoseok and Hyunwoo investigated the room while waiting.

Hyunwoo still felt uncomfortable with the tension after the car talk session earlier. But he tried to ignore it. He started a little investigation into the space he could reach. He hasn’t been able to thoroughly research it because he hasn’t been officially authorized by the owner of the house. His feet took a step, looked at the kitchen, and then saw how neatly the stools were lined up on the dining table set. He continued to walk until he arrived in front of a door that was slightly indented. The door slowly opened.

"YAAAA!!!"

Hoseok was heading to the terrace when he heard a shrill screaming from inside of the house. He ran in a rush and asked what was wrong. But Hoseok found the figure of Hyunwoo who was holding his own cheek. Hyunwoo’s eyes radiated in disbelief even though the expression on his face didn't change that much.

"He slapped me."

**~~oOo~~**

Nothing can stop Hoseok’s laughing. His laugh echoed throughout the room, especially with an open space and high roof like Kihyun's house. It felt like there was a laugh concert going on live. Hyunwoo was silent hearing that laughing, standing awkwardly next to the sofa. On the other hand, a petite man was sitting on the sofa with a sour face. His eyes narrow in disgust at Hoseok's laughter.

"So, _hahhahha_ , you've been showering and Hyunwoo," His breath was cut off because he couldn't hold back laughter, "Saw you naked? Then you slapped him?" His laugh continued together with Manager Park's laugh.

"Do not laugh!" Kihyun shouted, barking at Hoseok who was standing on his knees leaning against the wall opposite Kihyun. "I used a towel. I was surprised suddenly there was a stranger standing in front of my bathroom."

"What are you expecting? I was surprised and reflexively beat him." Kihyun looked away from the people who had laughed at him. He tightly hugged his feet on the sofa, his eyes to the garden. His mood deteriorated at once. Recalling unexpected events. If only he had known, he would have showered in his bedroom. The hair on his neck stood up remembering that those foreign eyes were highlighting his body.

"Really, I'm sorry, Mr Yoo. I didn't mean that." Guilt enveloped Hyunwoo. However, his eyes had committed sins by watching how the bathrobe fell, not covering Kihyun's body too much, slightly exposing his chest and right shoulder. The singer’s skin is milky white without the slightest gap. The water droplets fell down on his skin and what was worse: _Hyunwoo was blown away_. He was too shocked and made him froze, not expecting such an embarrassing incident. Then, a hand flew on his cheek with high pitched screaming.

"But you didn’t have to slap him." Manager Park continued, giving a pat on Hyunwoo’s shoulder who was starting to tense up because he felt bad for doing such an embarrassing thing.

"I never thought! To my knowledge until this day, I've never seen anyone who has reflexes and defense as good as Hyunwoo but you managed to beat him, Kihyun!" Hoseok began to feel cramps in his stomach. He felt like a fool who sucks a lot of laughing gas.

Kihyun hissed. _Bad sign,_ the manager thought.

They didn't have much time for introductions due to the morning slap incident, moreover Kihyun's schedule demands attention. They decided that they would talk in more detail when all of Kihyun's schedules for the day were finished. At that time it was also decided that Hyunwoo would accompany Kihyun wherever Kihyun was. They immediately went together to the studio where the broadcast was held this afternoon. Since their departure from home, Kihyun never looked at Hyunwoo and thought as if the older man had never existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I will introduce the character one by one first before we get the whole showki thing. But I already gave some hints for the sake of the plot. I’m sorry, maybe there will be feminization on some characters for the mood. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Chapter 3 will take longer to update because I’ve written nothing. Any kind of crititicism are welcomed! Thank you so much.


	3. Something that turned around everything; One More Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Hello, it’s me again! I’ve realized that there are so many mistakes in chapter 1 and 2. I’m really sorry about that. I’ll revise those 2 chapters later. Here chapter 3. I know this is a boring story but I hope you enjoyed it.

"You look tired. You have to maintain your sleep pattern, your eye’s bags look so clear, even the foundation couldn’t cover it well," the woman stylist said, adding a little bit of moisturizer before piling foundation on the bottom of Kihyun's eyes bags slowly. Even so, his black eye bags were still visible. Finally, the woman decided to add more concealers.

"I'm sorry,  _ noona _ ." Kihyun laughed playfully, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like a panda under the lamplight, "I watched many movies series last night. I couldn't sleep out of curiosity." No surprise he lied about his recent sleep disturbance even to his manager. The bright light in the make-up room made him feel drowsy. He could not clearly understand what the stylist and makeup artist was saying, other than that the woman kept on babbling about Kihyun's pale face.

"You have a busy schedule. You have to rest a lot." He lifted Kihyun's chin to look up and started applying eyeliner, "Looks are important. Your fans would worry if you look bad physically."

"You're right. Thanks for the concern,  _ noona _ . I'll be careful." He chuckled weakly. Trying hard to endure drowsiness. He refrained himself from yawning widely and rubbing his eyes that had just finished applied by the eyeliner. Kihyun inhaled and exhaled slowly. His eyes widened so the lamplight would strike and made his eyes sting.

The corner of his eye caught the figure of manager Park who was busy writing down something in a small notebook. The woman picked up the cell phone and dialed a number. She must be busy arranging Kihyun's schedule for the next month. He couldn’t move his face freely until the make-up session was over. His lips looked good without anything on it but the stylist decided to add more natural feeling by using lip balm. The corner of his eyes shifted to the open door, exposing the arrival of a slim yet tall man with slightly pink hair. The man walked over to Kihyun and sat on the chair next to him.

"What are you doing here?" Kihyun asked in annoyance, even though he already knew the answer.  _ Damn, Lee Minhyuk. _

" _ Nothing _ . I just wanted to say  _ hello _ . Why so sensitive,  _ Mr. Yoo Kihyun _ ." The man combed his pink hard by hand to make it messy. His thick lips grinned, exposing his golden teeth. "Ah,  _ yes _ ,  _ I remember now _ , Minhyuk sent me a message about—"

"Hey!" He shouted, still face to face to the mirror. The corner of his eye was trying to death glare at the man. It surprised the stylist- _ noona _ and she almost drew something freely on the corner of his lips.

" _ Shuush _ ,  _ shuush _ , I understand." His index finger swayed in the air to indicate that he understood. Kihyun breathed a sigh of relief. The pink haired man tried to hold back laughter. He knew that the conversation could not be opened to the public for now. He just wanted to see Kihyun’s panicked face. "I heard you agreed to collaborate with Jooheon." The man continued, changing the subject.

"Yeah. I've discussed the concept with Jooheon." Kihyun slightly nodded.

"I heard he's already composed songs for your duet, too."

"Yeah. I'm really excited to see him again." Make up session was over. His hair was neatly styled, exposing his forehead—his pointy nose looked smaller now. Then, his body shifted to facing the pink haired man. His eyes sparkled, radiating enthusiasm and hope.

"Excited? Really? Then, what is the reason you refused to cooperate with him all this time?"

Kihyun was silent for a few seconds, looking at the handsome man in front of him after the question was asked. He gulped. Suddenly his eyes formed into a crescent moon and he grinned widely and puffed up his cheeks like a hamster. "No special reason. Just busy." Kihyun answered in confidence. The tall man's eyebrows rose, suspecting something.

"Wouldn't that be a wonderful collaboration?" Someone continued. Two other handsome men stepped into the make-up room. One of them stared at the pink haired man, while the other man looked at Kihyun and gave him a small smile. Instantly Kihyun's smile faded. He turned back to face the mirror to see the results of the makeup on his face—wow, finally the eyebags well covered by makeup.

The pink haired man stood up slowly, "Of course. Jooheon is a professional. He won’t unilaterally break his promise to other people." He returned the burly man's gaze with a lazy look, "Aren't you, Producer Hoseok?" Hoseok sighed heavily. Kihyun's eyebrows almost linked together.

"Hyungwon. I’ve told you—" The pink haired man called Hyungwon interrupted by waving his hand before the words were finished. Rather than continuing his conversation with Hoseok, his eyes were attracted to the tan skinned man behind the producer. He took one step to confront the tanned man.

"You must be Hyunwoo. Let me introduce myself. I’m Chae Hyungwon. A DJ and a model." Hyungwon held out his hand to surprise Hyunwoo. He didn’t know why the stranger knew about him. Hyunwoo shook the man's hand—his height is equal to Hyunwoo's and his face is very attractive like a model,  _ ah he is indeed a model _ . Hyungwon continued, "I've heard about you from Minhyuk." Instantly, Kihyun's head felt dizzy.

"Yes. Son Hyunwoo. Nice to meet you, Mr. Chae." Hyunwoo smiled.  _ Who is Minhyuk? I haven’t officially accepted as Mr Yoo’s guard but everyone knows me now _ , he thought to himself.

"No need for formalities. It's Hyungwon." The tall man replied. He thought Hyunwoo was older than him so why not. Hyunwoo nodded, a little bit surprised at the casualness even though they just got to know each other.

The bodyguard's gaze turned to Hoseok, "Sorry, I thought this thing is still a secret. How come?" His stare demanded an answer. Before answering, Hoseok's eyes censored the room. Make sure there was only Manager Park besides them. The make-up artists and stylists have moved to other rooms.

"We are close friends. No need to worry,  _ for now _ , only Hyungwon and Minhyuk who know about it." Kihyun chimed in, but didn't want to look at Hyunwoo.

"Well, Minhyuk and I were at the scene when Kihyun got the first letter." Hyungwon headed to the door and was about to leave. "Nice to meet you, Hyunwoo. Please help Kihyun."

"Wait, Hyungwon." The man who was called ignored Hoseok's human being. He walked away without even looking at him. Hoseok sighed heavily once again.

"Did something happen between you two?" Kihyun asked, curious about the strange tension around Hoseok and Hyungwon. On the other hand, Hyunwoo had a blank face because he couldn't keep up with the conversation.

"Nevermind. I'll talk to him later." He massaged his temple. "Well, I've talked to several people here—Don’t worry about the letter. Still keep it as secret for now—Hyunwoo will camouflage as part of the security team so he doesn't stand out." Hoseok walked towards manager Park who was sitting on the long sofa. The woman was still busy with her cellphone. Hoseok handed over a piece of paper from the broadcasting team for the manager who was entrusted to him. Park read it for a moment and thanked him.

"But he looks  _ striking _ . Huh, whatever," Kihyun's hand waved indifferently. He stood up abruptly. The singer walked quickly towards the door, not really paying attention to the surroundings. The tip of his foot hit a box and nearly knocked him over. However, Hyunwoo caught his slender waist quickly before he could fall—made their bodies pressed against each other.

"Are you all right, Mr Yoo?" Hyunwoo asked flatly. He felt Kihyun's fingers clinging to his arm so hard. Kihyun's eyes widened, realizing that he was putting his weight on those burly arms. Instantly his body shivered because of the look in Hyunwoo's eyes, remembering the slap incident this morning. He took a step back, getting rid of Hyunwoo's arms that were still wrapped around his stomach and waist.

"I'm okay." He stuttered. Walk towards the door in a hurry.

"Where are you going, Mr Yoo?"

"Up to me!" He turned around when he felt someone approaching, "Don't follow me!"

"But—" Hyunwoo followed him out of the room even though Kihyun kept yelling at him.

In the corner of the room, Hoseok and manager Park sit in a relaxed manner. The two of them looked at each other. Grinning to each other.

"They are so cute." Park stated.

"Indeed." Hoseok laughed in amusement.

**~~oOo~~**

The studio was filled by fans of the singers who will be performing. Kihyun was standby in the backstage to test the mic. There wasn’t any rehearsal on the day’s performance due to a change of studio’s location due to technical problems. A group of Kihyun’s fans were in front of the stage, carrying lots of merch for the singer to recognize. The fans are diverse, from men to women in various ages.

Hyunwoo toured the studio and stage carefully without attracting attention. He had to make sure nothing suspicious happened when Kihyun was on the stage. According to Hoseok, that day was Kihyun's first public appearance after receiving the letter. Even though until now, it seems that the public doesn't know about the threat Kihyun has received. Hyunwoo was asked to be on guard to avoid the unexpected event. Although no one is clear about the motive behind the letter.

After finishing the inspection, Hyunwoo made sure Kihyun's presence was always on his radar. Of course, for the first day he worked as _not really_ an official guard, it made him worry a little bit. He knew clearly that Kihyun didn't like his existence. However, from the first time he met Kihyun this morning, he had felt that sensation—a sensation that reminded him that taking care of someone wasn't something he hated. Even though in the end Kihyun won't accept it, he will still do it as well as possible. In this uncertainty, he would dedicate himself to Kihyun's safety. _He won’t let the same bad things happen again._ _Never_. And Hyunwoo will make sure of all of that.

The studio overflowed with the cheering sound of the audience, especially Kihyun’s fans. The MCs had announced that Kihyun will be the first artist to appear. Kihyun came from the door behind the stage, smiling widely when his eyes caught the presence of a group of people calling out his name. He waved to the crowd of fans, greeting them with adorable body language.  _ Kihyun looked so different. _ He is very friendly, his face radiates happiness when he sees the fans. Hyunwoo had read all of Kihyun's biodata profile and studied it overnight. It seems that the information about Kihyun honestly loves his fans is the truth. Hyunwoo used to pay attention to people too much, even though it had not been a day since he had known the singer, he could see all of that clearly.

Kihyun's feet stepped on the stage. And then he chatted casually with the MCs.  _ He looked so charming. _ Wearing a white silk shirt and jeans that compliment his hair color. It looked very casual but feels extraordinary because of the singer’s aura. Even the makeup, it looked so naturally good on Kihyun’s beautiful profile. Hyunwoo was never interested in the world of celebrities. However, he needed to admit that even though Kihyun has a small and slender body, his charisma trumped his physique. His presence on the stage caught Hyunwoo's attention.

Kihyun became a spotlight when the music started. The screams of the fans muffled, watching the singer spoiled their ears. Hyunwoo forgot about his reason for being there. His eyes only paid attention to Kihyun. Everything seemed like an eternity when Kihyun’s eyes met his. The singer's voice took him by surprise—he sang so softly and beautifully. Like the melody of an angel. The expression on his face was everything, as if he was talking to Hyunwoo.

> **Sarangui iyuraneun geon wonrae eopsneun geol ( _There is no reason in love_ )**
> 
> **Dasi naege mureobwado ojik neo ppuniya ( _Even if you ask me again It’s only you_ )**
> 
> **Han georeum naege dagawajullae? ( _Can you take one more step?_ )**
> 
> **Hanbeon deo nareul bwarabwajullae? ( _Can you take another look at me?_ )**
> 
> **Naega nae modeun geol jul su issge ( _So I can give my everything_ )**
> 
> **Ni maeum yeoreojullae? ( _Can you open up your heart?_ )**
> 
> **Saranghae neoege i malbakke ( _Besides saying I love you_ )**
> 
> **Haejugo sipeun mal eopsneunde ( _Those words the only words I wanna say to you_ )**
> 
> **Neoneun ajikdo ireon nal moreuneunde ( _But you don’t even know this yet_ )**

Kihyun's singing stopped abruptly. Hyunwoo's world turned around. As if Kihyun was about to disappear from his eyes, Hyunwoo ran too fast onto the stage. He took off his jacket to cover Kihyun's face and body which was covered in raw eggs and rotten vegetables. Female fans screamed hysterically when two unknown men pelted Kihyun using dirty items. Hordes of people separated, running to escape the chaos. The two perpetrators ran towards the opposite exit door.

He gently pushed Kihyun's body back to the backstage. After that, Hyunwoo jumped over the stage guardrail, running towards one of the closest perpetrator. Meanwhile, the other perpetrator were chased by the closest guard. The crowd broke away, giving Hyunwoo access. His legs reached their maximum speed. He kicked the man's leg until the man fell down. Then the man's body was locked by Hyunwoo. One of his wrists was pinned down to the floor while the other hand was folded roughly behind his back by Hyunwoo swiftly. The perpetrator’s legs were caught by the weight of Hyunwoo's feet. The bodyguard's power exceeded the limit, putting pressure on his hands and feet, making the perpetrator scream and writhe in pain.

"What the hell are you doing? What’s your motive, huh?" Hyunwoo asked loudly. The perpetrator didn’t answer and gave Hyunwoo a grin. Seeing that grin, Hyunwoo put additional pressure on the perpetrator's body. Even though the perpetrator was strong enough, he couldn't escape Hyunwoo's confinement because Hyunwoo locked his vital points. Several guards came to help so that Hyunwoo finally released the perpetrator. He decided that the perpetrator should be interrogated by the authorities.

The fans were still in a state of panic. The staff tried to calm them down. Hyunwoo looked around, looking for Kihyun's figure but there was no one on the stage.

**~~oOo~~**

"What the fuck is happening?" Manager Park screamed in frustration. He took a lot of tissue and helped to clean the remaining dirt on Kihyun's body. Her eyes started to watery when he saw Kihyun's condition.

Kihyun just kept quiet. He squeezed Hyunwoo's jacket tightly. Part of the jacket had been stained with dirt. The smell of rotting vegetables and eggs was very strong but Kihyun didn't care. He seemed to think so hard that he made his eyebrows knit together.

"There was a commotion. Two unknown men pelted Kihyun while he was singing. Hyunwoo was chasing those men when I brought Kihyun here," Hoseok replied worriedly. He reached into his cell phone and searched the news column. Several news headlines about the incident began to appear. Hoseok panicked. "This is bad. The media is noisy. At this rate, we could be in the spotlight." His thumb scrolled quickly through the news. Some media had noticed Hyunwoo and questioned his identity.

"How could this happen? Are the items brought by fans not checked before entering the studio?" Park manager wondered. Throughout Kihyun's career, there has never been a scandal. Kihyun has such a good reputation that sasaeng is almost non-existent. Because Kihyun treats the fans good, and vice versa. This incident made her suspect that there was a connection with the threat letter.

Hyunwoo stepped inside the Kihyun’s waiting room. "The two men carried rotten goods using several lunch boxes. So that the security team did not suspect them." Hyunwoo chimed in. His breath was gasping as if he had run. He was relieved to see Kihyun's presence there.

"Have they been arrested?" Hyunwoo nodded. The two perpetrators were interrogated shortly before being taken by the police to investigate their motives. Manager Park breathed a sigh of relief. She was really panicked and worried for Kihyun. Her thoughts drifted everywhere, making her almost cry.

"You need to calm down, Park. Remember, you're pregnant." Hoseok tried to calm Park down. He rubbed the woman's back.

"I know. But I can't stop thinking this incident has something to do with the threat. Luckily they just pelted kihyun with eggs. What if they threw sharp objects at him? Oh my god." She started to panic again. She has been with Kihyun for years and considers him like a family. She was scared that something would happen to the singer.

"Calm down, Park, calm down. Therefore, we asked Hyunwoo for help, right?"

The manager’s eyes looked at Hyunwoo in full of hope. She walked over to Hyunwoo and took his hand.

"Hyunwoo, I'm sorry for talking selfishly. I know you still have doubts about this, but can you stay with Kihyun? I'm afraid something will happen when he's alone. If you ask for a higher price, we are willing to provide it. Most importantly, Kihyun is safe." Manager Park spoke fast without breathing. Hyunwoo was silent. He couldn't answer. This wasn’t about money for sure. Hyunwoo realized he was still hesitant to live together with Kihyun but seeing the incident just now, Hyunwoo felt a bad feeling. Even so, it was not his decision alone. 

"Sorry, Miss Park. I couldn't do it if Mr. Yoo wouldn't let me."

Everyone in the room shifted their gaze towards Kihyun. They realized Kihyun was silent since the incident. In fact, he didn’t care about the remaining dirt on his body. Kihyun really loves cleanliness. It was almost impossible to see Kihyun ignore his dirty self.

The singer seemed to be thinking hard. He chewed on his tip of finger. His eyes continued to stay focused on the floor. He was acting weird. It seemed that Kihyun looked like a person who was experiencing shock. Everyone there suddenly felt sorry.

"Kihyun, are you okay? I know you're in shock but—" Hoseok approached Kihyun, sat on his knees in front of him. Even Hoseok's existence seemed neglected by Kihyun. Suddenly, Kihyun took his cellphone that was stored in his bag. He scrolls the cellphone screen. His eyes widened as he read something on his cellphone. Hyunwoo kept watching Kihyun's movements.

"I've decided." Kihyun stood up slowly. His eyes fixed on Hyunwoo's iris. "You are officially my bodyguard now, Hyunwoo. We are living together If it's okay for you."

A determination radiated from Kihyun's eyes. Like a miracle reminded Hyunwoo of someone. The doubts disappeared in an instant. At that moment, Hyunwoo decided he would take one more step to protect Kihyun from anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I’m sorry about korean honorifics here so please don’t pay too much attention to it in this fic. Thank you for reading this mess. Thank you to anyone who gave kudos, subscription and bookmarks. Any kind of criticism is welcomed! See ya.
> 
> Disclaimer song : The song’s not mine. The song is ost drama sung by Kihyun. Title : One More Step. if you don’t know the song, you should check it out asap. Bcs it’s good.


	4. Interrogation; The Rock Head Yoo Kihyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I’m sorry about the late update. I’ve been busy doing something very very urgent in my real life and it can't be helped. The problem hasn't been solved yet. But I will try my best to update this story and my omegaverse story asap.
> 
> Disclaimer : If there are similarities between places and events, it is purely a coincidence. Everything that happens in this fiction is the author’s imagination.
> 
> Please ignore grammatical errors! Please enjoy!

There were four of them : the singer, the manager, the driver and a stranger like Hyunwoo. It felt a little bit awkward. The atmosphere in the car was quiet, none of the passengers spoke to each other. Hyunwoo tried to keep himself busy by looking at the dark night sky which was decorated with flickering lights and billboards. He sighed for a moment. The decision he had made was nothing to be taken lightly.

Manager Park was still busy with her notebook. She sat next to the driver that Hyunwoo didn't know. Her face looked pale because of the euphoria of worry she experienced a few hours ago—occasionally she rubbed her flat stomach lovingly.

Hyunwoo recalled the event about half an hour ago, when they were trying to get out of the studio and headed into the car. Lots of media were waiting for confirmation about what happened to the singer. Some of them even forced the singer to talk and continued to take pictures of his whereabouts. The media swarmed and blocked their way to the car. Even Hyunwoo had to grab Kihyun's hand, hug his body, hide his face from the media’s spotlight and then force him out of the crowd—the most important thing at that time was to keep the singer away from new sources of trouble.

"Your photos are scattered all over the place, Hyunwoo." Suddenly someone spoke. Hyunwoo hurriedly turned his head to the person sitting next to him. The person's face seemed to glow even though it was only illuminated by the cellphone light in the middle of the twinkling night. His brown hair looked so smooth under low light. His hands were still busy browsing every news page on his cellphone. His eyes were constantly moving, reading every news and chatter of netizens on social media. There were a lot of questions about Hyunwoo's identity and some fans uploaded videos of Hyunwoo while chasing the perpetrator and also when Hyunwoo kept Kihyun from the media crowd.

“I'm sorry, Mr Yoo. I don't mean to mess the information we're supposed to be preserving at this point." The bodyguard lowered his head. His neatly styled hair fell over his forehead. He spoke as carefully as possible because there was a driver who he had not identified— even though manager Park said he was her personal driver.

_ "Who is that man? Who helped Kihyun and gave him the jacket? He pursued the perpetrator in a very deft way. He looks really strong. I saw him kick the culprit at the leg until he fell down. He stood next to me and his face is very handsome." _ Kihyun read out the comments one by one that his eyes met. His lips smirked. He rolled his eyes from the cell phone screen to Hyunwoo. He glared at Hyunwoo's whereabouts. "Looks like you've become a famous person now."

"I'm sorry—"

“It's okay. It's really okay. This is better." Kihyun looked back at the cellphone screen. Both his eyes flashed something Hyunwoo couldn't explain. Something was going on and Hyunwoo couldn't predict it. He hoped that Hoseok was there with them, at least Hyunwoo can divert his curiosity towards the singer.

Within an hour and a half, they arrived at Kihyun's residence. Manager Park asked the driver to leave first and then return when contacted by the manager. The last thing was waiting for Hoseok's arrival. The producer was going to Hyunwoo's apartment to get some things that Hyunwoo might need. As Park's request, currently Hyunwoo was unable to leave Kihyun's side. Today, it was decided that Hyunwoo would stay with Kihyun starting that night.

The three of them waited for Hoseok in the living room while watching television. Most television channels were talking about the incident that happened to Kihyun. Some of the media also mentioned the existence of Hyunwoo as the person who caught the perpetrator. The media gossip questioned Hyunwoo's identity, especially when the footage of Hyunwoo helping Kihyun out of the media crowd towards the car was shown. Hyunwoo's protective attitude towards the singer became a special concern for the media.

Manager Park and Hyunwoo looked at each other, while Kihyun was still busy with his cellphone—still reading all the comments on the cellphone screen. Every now and then the singer watched the news on television with interest, and his attention shifted to television whenever the media talked about how they were trying to investigate the identity of the perpetrators who were being interrogated by the police at that time. Hyunwoo's eyes took turns paying attention to the singer and then the television. He paid attention to every expression Kihyun made. Their focus sank on every piece of news and analyzed how the public reacts. They were so focused that they didn't realize Hoseok had arrived in front of Kihyun's house and kept calling one of them to get access.

"What are you doing? I almost froze to death outside." Hoseok gave a dramatic snort, his hand stroking his cold arm. He put a large bag containing several pieces of Hyunwoo's clothes. Then he returned the apartment's keys to the owner. His complaint stopped when he saw television. He sighed heavily. "Let's talk." Hoseok took the television remote and lowered the volume.

"I think we have to explain Hyunwoo's identity to the public because fans are worried about my situation." Kihyun spoke without warning. He put the cell phone in his jacket pocket. His eyes turned to the ceiling of the room, watching the light. Hyunwoo tilted his head in confusion.

Hoseok narrowed his eyes, “Are you sure, Kihyun? At first I thought, you were against things related to bodyguards, but now you accept it that easily.” During the way to Hyunwoo's apartment, Hoseok wondered about what was the reason that made Kihyun so easily change his mind. Did the incident really affect his emotions? Did the incident this time traumatize Kihyun? Even so, the expression on Kihyun's face didn't show any kind of trauma. He looked quite composed. He had been mostly silent since that incident and appears to be thinking a lot.

As Kihyun nodded, Hyunwoo interrupted, “We can't just do that. We are supposed to trick the threat letters sender, right? The alternative that we can do is give divergence of information to the public so that they diverted themselves from my existence. We can say that I was the part of the security team there who happened to be on duty."

"No!" Kihyun suddenly shouted in high notes. His eyes stared sharply at Hyunwoo. The bodyguard frowned. "We have to tell the public that I have a personal bodyguard." His gaze shifted to the floor very quickly.

"Calm down, Kihyun. I know you're feeling depressed right now,” Manager Park walked over to him and rubbed his shoulder to make Kihyun calm down.

"Are you aware of the consequences of telling the public about me?" Hyunwoo got up from his seat, shifted his body position so he could pay attention to the singer more clearly. Even though Kihyun had glared at him earlier, now he was trying to avert his gaze and didn't want to look at Hyunwoo. “You will be noticed. The public will ask why you need a personal bodyguard. My identity will always draw public attention to you."

Kihyun sat up straight but he still didn't want to look at Hyunwoo. He looked like a stubborn kid who doesn't want to budge. “Isn't that a good thing? With so much public attention, there are many eyes watching me. My safety will be more secure that way." Hyunwoo shook his head hard in rejection.

"Public attention will be a source of distraction for us. Have you never felt the public's thirst? They will try to dig up information so that eventually the information will leak. It will be the culprit's advantages. The culprit will be more careful in doing their jobs, even the extreme thing that might happen is that the culprit will look for a blind spot from public distraction to harm you. Perfect planning will be hard to prevent." Hyunwoo explained without pausing his breath. Hoseok smiled, he knew very well how Hyunwoo would think in such a situation. Even though Hyunwoo didn't talk much at times, he had the ability to lead people because of his ability to think analytically and always have a cool head.

Kihyun remained with his stance more and more, "No. We have to hold a press conference to introduce you. We need public attention. "

"Kihyun, I don't get you." Hoseok frowned. His eyes were trying to stare at Kihyun while rolling his sleeves. "During a closed meeting with the CEO, you insisted on letting the public know about the letters but you didn't want to ask the police for help."

"What?" Hyunwoo was surprised. He did not expect Hoseok's statement. Hyunwoo has not received full information about what precautions have been taken. Hyunwoo didn’t assume that Kihyun wanted his case to be known by the public.

“Yes, he insisted on notifying the public and refused to report to the police and even refused to hire a bodyguard. Even though he knows that maybe his life is in danger." Hoseok leaned back against the sofa roughly. His hands combed his hair in frustration. He tried so many times to provide solutions to the singer but the singer was always stubborn. "We need to minimize nuisance for the sake of investigation. Just for your information, I've already reported it to the police on behalf of the company. "

"What?" Kihyun stood roughly. He put on an unbelievable face. "I told you I don't want the police to get involved." His hands clenched hard.

"Calm down, Kihyun. We're just worried about you." Manager Park grabbed Kihyun's hand, directing him to sit back down. The one thing that was difficult for Kihyun to refuse was the manager's request. The little man sat back, his legs swaying impatiently and restlessly. Hyunwoo's curiosity became even more intense.

"Why? If you want the public to know about me, it is the same as getting the attention from the police? The weapons that I will carry to protect you must be registered to the police. Do you understand that?" Hyunwoo spoke in a quiet and patient tone. Maybe Kihyun was in a panic position so the decisions he made were under pressure. Being a bodyguard is not that easy. To carry out special protection, a bodyguard needs a weapon, but the use of weapons by parties outside the police is a violation, unless the special permission has been obtained from the police themself. Obtaining a police permit is not easy too, because it requires a special certification that states the person carrying the weapon is indeed an expert and trained. But it was an easy thing for Hyunwoo who had undergone special training.

"You don't have to carry a gun." Kihyun hissed. Several times he pursed his lips. He wanted to continue his sentence but in the end he canceled it.

"I only speak for extreme cases if it is necessary." Kihyun was silent for a while with a sour face. Hyunwoo felt something tickle his mind. The tests he did appear to have worked.

“Anyway,” Kihyun continued, “I want the public to know about Hyunwoo. The public will pay attention to me and I will feel safer when many people pay attention to me. I beg you not to involve the police. We just need Hyunwoo. We can tell the public that my schedule is too busy so I need someone to help me. "

“If you're busy, why don't you just hire a manager or assistant? Why a bodyguard? The public is not stupid, Kihyun." Hoseok almost gave up on rock head Yoo Kihyun. He got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to find food in the refrigerator. He was so hungry that he forgot that he was visiting someone else's house. Besides that, manager Park was also quite tired of Kihyun's behavior. Meanwhile, Hyunwoo seemed to be in deep thought.

Kihyun reached into his jacket pocket and took out his cell phone. His attention returned to the existing comments column.  _ Why is Kihyun so dedicated to public comments?  _ Hyunwoo blinked, thought for a moment. There were several questions that he desperately wanted to know the answers to.

"When did you get the first letter?" Hyunwoo asked, he ventured to sit next to Kihyun but made a little distance. He paid attention to every detail of Kihyun's facial expression. Hyunwoo was used to paying attention to other people too much. Hyunwoo could see how the singer’s thin lips were muttering. The eyes bags were clearly visible. His cheeks flushed slightly under the light. In addition, there were strands of hair sticking out at the top of his head. It felt like Hyunwoo wanted to fix that messy hair.

“The first one was one month ago. It says _ 'I will finish you' _ and it has bloodstains on it." He answered, without paying full attention to the presence of Hyunwoo beside him. His eyes moved erratically as if looking for prey to be looked at.

Kihyun had gotten the letters five times. Kihyun got the first letter in a waiting room at one of the studios of a famous TV station. The letter was placed on his dressing table. The person who found the letter first was Kihyun himself and when he tried to open the letter, Lee Minhyuk and Chae Hyungwon came together to greet Kihyun. In the end, the three of them read the contents of the letter together. The two friends panicked at that time but they tried to break the ice by saying maybe it was a prank or something for fun or just haters. Haters? But Kihyun has almost no haters.

The second and third letters were sent to Kihyun in a slightly strange way—two weeks after the first letter. The letter was addressed to Yoo Kihyun without going through the postman so that the sender’s address could not be traced. The second and third letters were found by homeless people around the agency building. At that time the homeless were arguing that they had found the letter near the agency's entrance—they thought it might contain some money that had been dropped by the owner accidentally. When the homeless tried to open the letter, they were kicked out by the building security. They were shocked and ran away leaving the letter behind. The letter was taken by the security after that. In the end, the letter was given to Kihyun before the project meeting. Kihyun read the letter in the middle of a meeting and almost fell from his seat. At that time there were only Manager Park, Lee Hoseok, the CEO and Kihyun.

The fourth letter was found by the manager in the radio studio's waiting room. Upon finding it, manager Park was alone while Kihyun was doing a live radio broadcast to promote the new song and informing fans about his collaboration with one of the famous rappers and producers named Lee Jooheon of Kihyun's agency sister company. At the time before the letter was found, Lee Jooheon had just arrived at the radio studio and joined the radio broadcast together with Kihyun.

The fifth letter was received by Kihyun himself at his residence, exactly two days before meeting Hyunwoo. The letter found right at the door inside. It seemed like the culprit slipped the letter under the door so that it could enter the house.

"Are there any cctv records from the locations where the letters were found?" Hyunwoo wondered. He thought of several possible scenarios, but his hypothesis could not be proven concretely.

Manager Park shook his head, “The first letter was found in the waiting room without cctv. Cctv is placed in the front hall of the waiting rooms. I had complained about it but it turned out that the studio didn’t install the cctv in the waiting room at the request of the artists to maintain privacy. Most artists have to wait a long time there because of late midnight broadcasts or late night talk shows or any variety shows." Hyunwoo nodded, giving a note. Manager Park was looking for something on her cell phone. She showed some photos of the letters to Hyunwoo. The letters were inscribed with quite explicit threatening words such as  _ 'I will finish you' _ ,  _ 'Pay attention to your surroundings or maybe I suddenly come in front of you and then boom' _ ,  _ 'You don't belong in this world' _ ,  _ 'Traitor' _ , _ 'Useless person is better just die' _ . In addition, the letters were accompanied by several objects such as photos of animals that had been tortured to death or blood stains—after some examination, they were animal blood. Until the five letters were received, there was never any physical contact with harm until today's incident took place—not to mention that the day was Kihyun’s first day public appearance since he got the letters.

"Please give me all the cctv records from the location's surroundings where the letters were found 2 months before the first letter was found. I'll examine the whole thing in more detail. Does this house also have CCTV? The fifth letter was found in this house right which incidentally is almost unlikely to be broken into by strangers." Hyunwoo had been exploring for a while, paying attention to the surroundings of the residence. Kihyun's house is very closed from the outside and only a few people have special access to enter the house. He thought that the culprit took a very risky act by entering Kihyun's residence and putting letters through the door.

Manager Park shook her head again. Her eyes glanced at Kihyun for a moment. “Kihyun doesn't want cctv inside the house. So cctv is only installed in front of the door, facing the entrance and the fence. "

“Do you think it's fun to live in a house with cctv? This is my home and I have the authority. Besides, I only live alone so what is it for?" Kihyun played with his own fingers. His eyes moved to television, which by then was broadcasting a romance drama series. The voice of the actors' conversation couldn't be heard because the volume was still turned down.

"I understand." Hyunwoo smiled a little. Kihyun's face looked tired and getting sleepy, so Hyunwoo decided to stop the interrogation. Manager Park and Hoseok had permission to return to their respective homes.

Only the two of them were left in the large house and suddenly Hyunwoo felt awkward. Even though Kihyun had accepted him as a personal bodyguard, Hyunwoo understood that Kihyun still didn't like his existence—maybe because of the incident in the morning and Hyunwoo's behavior that kept following Kihyun non-stop everywhere. Actually, he didn’t think about how and where he should sleep because as a protector, Hyunwoo had to stay awake all the time, especially at night because the night was a very vulnerable hour for most people and they would lose their guard. However, unlike Hyunwoo, night was the time when his concentration reached the upper limit and he became very alert.

“You can sleep in the room opposite mine. Usually, I use that room to store my clothes." The room was located not far from Kihyun's room on the second floor. Inside, there are several wardrobe sets containing Kihyun's collection of clothes, shoes, bags and accessories. “Sometimes I sleep there when I'm tired. Currently there are only long sofas. The new bed will be available tomorrow. The bathroom is behind the curtain." Kihyun opened the door to the room, followed by Hyunwoo. Not forgetting, he brought a bag filled with clothes that Hoseok brought. The room is quite big and still feels spacious even though there are many rows of cabinets in it. Hyunwoo himself had no problem sleeping on the sofa. In fact, he was used to falling asleep on the floor while relaxing in his apartment.

"Thank you, Mr. Yoo." He bowed his head in respect to the shorter man. Kihyun looked at him for a moment and turned his gaze in another direction. Hyunwoo looked at the singer who was fidgeting with his own fingers. 

“Are you okay, Mr Yoo? Is there something you need?" 

Kihyun carried a can of beer in one hand. He felt his hands start to sweat and made the beer can almost come out of his grasp but Hyunwoo caught the can and also the singer’s hand deftly. When Hyunwoo caught them, their eyes became one level of vision. Hyunwoo got how close Kihyun's face was from his sight, he could even see Kihyun's facial movements when he was surprised when their eyes met. Hyunwoo could see the dimples on the singer's plumpy cheeks.

Kihyun looked into those eyes. His shoulders suddenly felt tense. He could see the outline of masculine face of the man in front of him from such a close distance. "I'm... okay." The night was almost at its climax and Kihyun knew very well that an uncomfortable moment in his life was coming soon. He hesitated to leave the room even though he still walked out and walked into his own room slowly. Hyunwoo noticed how that tiny back moved away from his sight. He felt a continuous alert as that tiny body disappeared from his sight.

Hyunwoo closed the door slowly. He watched that big room for a moment. He put his bag on the sofa and began to check its contents. Then, he went into the bathroom for showering. The bathroom is quite big and very clean although it is rarely used. There is a large mirror in the washstand. He took off his shirt slowly and then hooked it on the nearest hanger. Hyunwoo's eyes caught the stitch marks that were wrapped around one side of his waist and creeping up his back. He touched it for a moment. Even though he had lost confidence for a long time, he had decided to help the singer.

"Can I do this, Changkyunie?" He stared at his reflection on the mirror. Staring sadly at himself. Wiped his historic wound.

_ “Hyung, why are you always able to do anything? Don't you have any weaknesses?" _

Only those words rang in his mind.

**~~oOo~~**

After showering, Hyunwoo changed into something more comfortable—a white t-shirt and long jersey pants. He heard the vibrations of his cell phone from his pant’s pocket that was hanging on the arm of the sofa. His hand reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone. Hoseok's name was emblazoned on the cellphone screen.

"Yes?"

The person on the phone took a sip of drink and then heaved a sigh of relief.  _ "So, do you find something?" _

"First of all, thank you for helping me. I just want to make sure if you haven't reported this case to the police." Hyunwoo leaned against the arm of the sofa. He put his clothes bag on a table near the sofa. He remembered Kihyun's words that he was welcome to take food or drink in the kitchen when he was hungry. It seemed like he needed coffee because tonight he will be on standby until early morning while doing a little investigation. Hyunwoo had asked manager Park to send more detailed photos of the letters to his email for now. The cctv footage would be given to Hyunwoo the next day. In addition, he also asked manager Park for help in making a Kihyun’s schedule list and the list of people he met in the past 6 months before the first letter and the next 6 months schedule.

_ “As you requested, I haven't reported it. Why are you asking me to say that I have reported it to Kihyun? Is there something bothering you?" _ Hyunwoo sent a message to Hoseok on his way to Kihyun's house. At that time, Hoseok did what Hyunwoo wanted without asking. Besides that, because he was busy taking care of some of his childhood friends' clothes.

"Yes. But I never thought that Mr Yoo wanted this case published. Why didn't you tell me?" Hyunwoo glanced at the small clock that was placed on the table. The clock showed 12 o'clock in the midnight.

_ “Because the CEO and I are against it. At that time we didn't know the motive behind the letters until finally the fourth letter was found by Park." _ Hyunwoo could hear the sound of scraping cloth from behind the phone, it seemed that Hoseok moved to his bed. "Publicizing this matter is an act of recklessness. But at that time, Kihyun was very adamant. He looked so desperate. I don't know why."

Hyunwoo fell silent. The sound of his heart beating sounded in his own ear. His brain was working to its full potential.

_ "Hyunwoo?" _

“I can't conclude it yet, but I can say that Mr. Yoo knows something. That's why he insisted." Hyunwoo remembered when Kihyun looked at him full of confidence and said that he officially accepted Hyunwoo as his protector. At that time, Kihyun's eyes radiated hope and asked for help. What makes Kihyun's decision felt as fast as turning a palm? Hyunwoo didn't even know. But everything felt like reality when the singer looked at him expectantly.

_ "What do you mean?" _

"I followed him everywhere all day. It seems like everyone likes him—the fans, the staff, whoever. That's why I can't say that someone hates him out there with just one day of observation. However, today's perpetrator gave me a grin that was unbelievable. I don't understand." He remembered asking him what the motive of the rotten object thrower was and getting a grin in response. At that moment, Hyunwoo felt a bad feeling. Not everyone could understand.

"There are two possibilities that made him want to publish without the involvement of the police or someone personal." Hyunwoo exclaimed. His gaze moved to the door, imagining the presence of the singer in the opposite room. On the other hand, Hoseok woke up from his sleep. He sat up straight and listened intently. "First, he needs positive attention from the public. And the second, he knows the identity of the culprit."

_ "What—?" _

A scream disturbed his ears. He recognized the voice even though it was faint. The tension was different from the scream he heard when he saw the singer come out of his bathroom this morning. The tension was also different from the high notes of his singing. Hyunwoo ran out of the room as fast as he could and left his cell phone on the sofa—leaving Hoseok screaming out his name from a distance. The origin of the sound was right there from Kihyun's room.

“Mr Yoo? Mr Yoo!” He knocked on the door of the room many times. The scream was heard once and after that it was silence. “Are you alright? Please answer me!" No answer. Hyunwoo couldn't stay still. He grabbed the knob of the door and found out that the door was not locked. Immediately—and almost slamming the door—he hurried into the room. Hyunwoo found a small figure curled up on the bed with his palms covering his ears. Immediately he approached the figure. The corners of his eyes sensed the surroundings of the room and there was nothing fishy.

"Mr Yoo?" He shook the shoulder but the body curled up still. Hyunwoo could hear a groaning sound from a body that was smaller than him. “Are you okay? What's wrong?" Hyunwoo's big hands gripped his shoulders tightly and forced him to get up. Kihyun tightly closed his eyes. He grimaced almost like crying. His breath was gasping. Sweat soaked his forehead and temples.

"Please," Kihyun groaned, he pulled his body from Hyunwoo's grasp. "Leave me alone."

"Huh? Don't be like that. Tell me what happened, why did you scream? Was there someone here? "

"Leave me alone!" He screamed right in Hyunwoo's face. The eyebrows were linked. His breath was still hunting. His teeth clenched, trembling. His eyes glared at the bodyguard.

Hyunwoo put on an incredulous face. But when his eyes met the singer, he let go of his grip on Kihyun slowly. Kihyun's eyes seemed to speak to him, signaling that he wanted Hyunwoo to leave his sight. But at the same time, Hyunwoo could see the deep sadness inside.

There was no other choice for Hyunwoo. He walked away unwillingly and stepped away from the bed. His eyes found it difficult to escape from the figure of Kihyun who was huddled back on the bed. He closed the door slowly and stood in front of the door. He wasn't really sure what sound he heard just now. It seemed he heard the sound of muffled crying from the room. Instantly Hyunwoo felt his chest hurt.

"Mr Yoo." Hyunwoo muttered the name like a mantra in a barely audible voice. His body froze in the cold night and the sound of sobs.

Tears rolled down on Kihyun's cheeks. His eyes began to dissolve. He tried hard to hold back his cries so as not to be heard. His hand closed his ears tightly. His breath was cut off as if someone was choking his neck.

The dream came again and this time it was very bad. The dream felt so real— _ no, it was a reality _ . Kihyun could play back the memory clearly. After all these years, he still remembered it vividly. When his body fell down and blood flowed incessantly from his temples. His body felt pain as those big legs kept kicking his tiny body back and forth. Making his face full of blood kissed the asphalt dust.

_ “Hyung! Help me, hyung!" _

At that instant, a tiny child screamed. His eyes could not clearly see the child's face. A sharp knife waved under the dim sunlight covered in clouds. Kihyun's hands could only reach the air and the emptiness. His voice was hoarse and indescribable—he didn't know how many times he had shouted pleading. He had tried his best but slowly lost his consciousness.

_ "Please don't hurt him. Please." _

Every time his eyes closed, Kihyun could play that nightmare again. Suddenly the world became void. It was as if he had returned to the past and then fell into the abyss of darkness.

“Ki-young. Where are you? I think I can't do this anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to make a note : Hyunwoo still call Kihyun as "Mr Yoo" considering his position as bodyguard.
> 
> I notice some readers are waiting for this fanfic to update. I'm sorry for the delay. I hope this chapter is satisfying. Thank you to everyone who reads, give kudos, subscription, comments and bookmarks! See you in the next chapter.


	5. The Great Lee Minhyuk; They Got Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A / N: Hello, it’s me. Here is chapter 5. I'm sorry for the late update. I'm gonna update this fic once a week now. But if there is a holiday, I will try to update it. I’m sorry for anyone who is waiting for this fic update.
> 
> Disclaimer : If there are similarities between places and events, they are purely a coincidence. Everything that happens in this fiction is the author's imagination so please read it wisely.

Water splashed down his face. He looked at the reflection of his face in the large mirror. He noticed how his face looked dull and the fine hairs on his face were starting to grow back. The sink water flowed non-stop. The sound of water in the sink was like an alarm that awakened his consciousness. His eyes were sore and reddened. His sight was a little blurry. He couldn't sleep all night, or rather, he stayed all night in front of the singer's room.

He couldn't remember exactly when the crying sound from behind the bedroom door had stopped. However, without Hyunwoo knowing it, the sun had shown the bridge of his nose. Until early morning, the singer had not yet come out of his room. Finally, Hyunwoo took a minute to showering and wash his face.

That morning at 10 o’clock, Hyunwoo came out of his room and found Kihyun's room still tightly closed. Hyunwoo knew that he had no right to order or just question Kihyun's personal matters. However, as the one who would be the singer's protector, Hyunwoo was so curious about what happened last night to the smaller man—moreover, if there was a possibility that last night's incident had something to do with the whole incident experienced by Kihyun. Hyunwoo remembered how that face had turned pale and sweaty. The tiny body shook violently. Hyunwoo could feel his shaky body at every central point of his body's sensitivity, as if a monster had appeared in front of the singer so Kihyun felt so scared and hopeless. There was deep sorrow in the singer's eyes and Hyunwoo felt his heart gonna break.

Hyunwoo decided to wait for Kihyun to come out of his room. He waited in the nearest chair, just the same as he had done last night. His vigilance was called as Hyunwoo heard a strange voice coming from the first floor. There was the sound of pounding and footsteps—He was sure someone was down there! Was that Manager Park? Then, why was she so silent? Was it possible for someone else to enter the house without the owner knowing?

Hyunwoo hurried to stand up and peeked at the ground floor. Then he walked warily down the stairs. His body pressed against the nearest wall so that his position was hidden. The corner of his eye sensed every blind spot of the house and then he occupied the blind spot looking for the whereabouts of intruders. He stretched his muscles to prepare for the worst condition. Kihyun's house was so grand and mostly has large glass windows and most of the rooms are open without walls.

Hyunwoo saw the shadow of a suspicious man wearing a black hoodie near the kitchen—but he could not clearly see what the intruder was doing because the reflection of his shadow looked quite far from Hyunwoo's position. The image of the body was reflected on the glass door connected to the swimming pool when the curtains swept away by the morning breeze. Whatever that person did, of course, breaking into someone else's house was illegal. He approached the figure slowly through the wall line to the end of the wall that restricted their presence. He could clearly hear a man's hissing voice.

Hyunwoo's pace was so light that the intruder didn’t notice that the bodyguard was behind him. Hyunwoo caught the man deftly. He grasped the two foreign wrists quickly, raised one over his head and placed the other behind the intruder's back. A shrill scream escaped from the intruder. Hyunwoo's body muscles worked at their maximum and pushed the intruder's body until it hit the nearest wall. The man’s face kissed the wall brutally. Hyunwoo's body hit the man's back, one shoulder pressed against his middle back—applying pressure to all vital points. The intruder stretched and his mouth screamed in pain.

“Akh! Wait, wait, what is this? Akh!”

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” He whispered right in the ear. His voice became deeper than usual. Hyunwoo pressed one of the intruder’s wrists against the wall, while his body put extra pressure on the man’s body that was squeezed by the wall.

“Wha—Wait, wait, wait, it's hurt! It's fucking hurt!”

“Answer me now or I'll break your hand.” His body writhed and tried to escape. The hoodie of his hood fell to his back and exposed his silver hair.

“Minhyuk?” Hyunwoo turned his head towards the voice. Kihyun came and stared at the two of them with a confused look. It seemed he didn't understand what was going on. The bodyguard could see Kihyun's eyes, which were still slightly swollen and his face was pale.

“Min—Minhyuk?” Hyunwoo stuttered as saying the name. His tone returned to normal. Instantly he remembered the name ‘Minhyuk’ which was mentioned when he first met Chae Hyungwon. And he remembered the names “Lee Minhyuk” and “Chae Hyungwon” who were the witnesses of the first letter. Finally he reduced the exertion and let go of the hoodie man slowly.

Minhyuk's face scrunched up. Both of his hands wagged in the air, revealing the pain he felt along his arms and back. His mouth kept sighing in pain. What a wonderful day for him—He almost fell at the door and then got a romantic kiss with a hard cold wall. “Aw, that was an awful feeling I ever felt. Chills, Hyunwoo.”

Hyunwoo was shocked when Minhyuk said his name. However, they were not officially acquainted yet. “I'm sorry about that. I don't know that you are… and, how did you get into this house? I've made sure all access is locked.”

“Well, it's okay. Just pay me back with a luxury lunch next time, okay. You need to control your power. It's hurt so much. Really. I'm not lying.” Hyunwoo was surprised at the second time. They hadn't shaken hands yet but he had already been invited to lunch together. What kind of chill person Minhyuk was. “I have the keys to this house. Kihyun gave it to me and Hyungwon.”

If only Hyunwoo had recognized that person, maybe he wouldn't have attacked Minhyuk. It was a habit that was difficult for Hyunwoo to break, when he was very alert, sometimes his body strength reached its maximum power. That's why Hoseok always said that Hyunwoo had good offense and defense power.

“Why are you here?” Kihyun asked, still confused by the situation. He just woke up. After a nightmare, he couldn't go back to sleep. But just before dawn came, he suddenly felt so sleepy and finally fell asleep. Kihyun didn’t understand what was happening, as if the things he was worried about were no longer there. And then suddenly Kihyun heard a shrill scream. He woke up in shock and immediately went out of the room. He saw the door of Hyunwoo's room open and Hyunwoo wasn't there. Then he immediately rushed to the source of the sound and found the two men in a confusing position.

The silver haired man had an incredulous face. He reached into something from the waist bag that was perched on the hip and pulled out a flashdisk. He sighed, “This morning I met Hyerin- _ noona _ and she left this to me because I wanted to visit here. She said this is for Hyunwoo. This is a cctv record or something. The original letter will be given to you later.” He handed the flashdisk to Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo frowned but his hand took the flashdisk which was handed to him. “Who is Hyerin?”

“My manager. Her name is Park Hyerin.” Kihyun answered the question. The two of them stared at each other. Instantly Hyunwoo remembered what happened last night. Kihyun didn't look well this morning and Hyunwoo felt a little worried about him. The atmosphere fell silent as they looked at each other as if the two of them communicated with each other just by making eye contact. Hyunwoo wanted to say something, his mouth was opened but he canceled it because Kihyun's eyes seemed to say that the singer didn't want to explain anything about last night.

A few minutes passed, Minhyuk stood dumbfounded as he witnessed the silence in the majestic room. He smiled mischievously. “What's happening? Did something interesting happen last night?”

“Nothing.” Kihyun shifted his gaze around the room. Minhyuk knew Kihyun was nervous when he asked him. The silver haired man grinned widely.

“Ah—yes, well, I understand. Don't worry.” He giggled.

“What are you thinking?” Kihyun gave a death glare to him. Minhyuk still smiled mischievously. His gaze turned to Hyunwoo who couldn't follow the direction of the conversation. He pulled Hyunwoo towards the dining table and invited him to chat. Kihyun sighed in annoyance.

“I am hungry. Please make something, Kihyun.”

“This is my house and I'm not your maid!”

**~~oOo~~**

“You look better in person, Hyunwoo.” Minhyuk sat opposite Hyunwoo. Kihyun was grumbling in the kitchen while turning on the stove.

“Um, thank you? How did you know my name? We haven't met before.”

“Are you kidding me? You're a  _ hot topic _ now. Even though I already know about you from Kihyun.” Minhyuk reached the contents of the waist bag, he took out the cellphone and played with his cellphone screen. Then he showed the cell phone screen to Hyunwoo—there were many threads of comments there. “Look, lots of people are talking about you on the internet. And then… here.. look! There are so many photos of you two hugging.”

“Me? Doing what?” Hyunwoo took the cellphone and his finger was busy scrolling the screen. It turned out that many photos from various angles were spread around the internet when Hyunwoo tried to protect Kihyun by pulling and hugging the singer's body while breaking through the media crowd. And at the same time, Kihyun unconsciously hugged him back as Hyunwoo tried to break the crowds.

“Kihyun is a famous person, you know. He never got into trouble or scandal before. Something that happened yesterday was shocking for netizens. It's natural that you are in the public spotlight now.”

“Eum...?” Hyunwoo broke the atmosphere of breakfast that morning, he didn't know what to call Minhyuk. Afterwards, Kihyun came to bring a pot of warmed up leftover curry from yesterday. That day, Kihyun wasn't in the mood to cook so he only served the food that was available in his refrigerator. Minhyuk protested but he quit because Kihyun gave him another death glare.

“Ah, Minhyuk. Just call me, Minhyuk.” He scooped out the curry and put it in his mouth. Kihyun sat next to Minhyuk and then drank a glass of black coffee.

“Okay, Minhyuk. But,” Hyunwoo glanced at the singer who was busy eating his breakfast. “I don't know if this is a good thing or not for the investigation process. We still don't know about the real intention of the culprit. I'm kind of worried about something.”

The silver haired man laughed, “Don't be too stiff, Hyunwoo. Take it slow. In my opinion, whether or not what happened yesterday, you will still be in the spotlight because you are the bodyguard of a famous singer. It couldn't be helped.”

“For me,” Kihyun played with the food on his plate. His eyes focused solely on the food stirred into chaos. “I'm okay with it.” He put back the spoonful of rice and curry into his mouth, then his sight shifted to the swimming pool to avoid Hyunwoo's gaze.

“See? Kihyun wants the media to know about you two hugging.”

“That's not what I mean! Can you just shut up?” The singer turned his gaze at the silver hair man and he had a disgusted face. As usual, Minhyuk always made conclusions at his will.

“Why so sensitive, right, Hyunwoo? Of course I'm just kidding.” He shrugged his shoulders and gave Hyunwoo a mischievous look. The bodyguard just smiled and his eyes turned to Kihyun who grumbled in a voice that was barely audible. “Ah, right, I heard that you and producer Hoseok have known each other for a long time?”

Hyunwoo nodded and gave a small smile. “We've been friends since childhood. I have lived with him since childhood. But I moved to my own apartment 4 years ago.”

“Is that so? How can you live together, you two have a sibling relationship?” Minhyuk tried to take Kihyun's coffee cup and his hands were slapped by the singer.

“My father was Hoseok's grandfather's bodyguard. He's still working with them and accompanying Mr Lee now but not as bodyguard. At the same time he's been training some new bodyguard to substitute him.” After feeling more comfortable, Hyunwoo also took his breakfast. Before he could pour the curry on top of the rice, Kihyun took the curry and poured it into Hyunwoo's plate. Then, reflexively, he bowed his head in respect.

“Hmm, I see. Ah, there is something that really makes me curious about the incident 5 years ago. Do you know that in detail? Surely at that time you were still living with him right?” Instantly Hyunwoo froze in the air when Minhyuk mentioned the incident 5 years ago. He suddenly couldn't react. His hand was about to grab a spoonful of rice but he put the spoon back on the plate. Actually Hyunwoo didn't want to remember it and also didn’t want to talk about it. He always tried to avoid that topic, whenever and wherever.

“Incident 5 years ago? What is that?" Kihyun turned his head with a confused face to Minhyuk. Meanwhile, the silver hair man sighed heavily. He couldn't believe what he just heard.

Minhyuk raised his voice a little emotionally. He spoke while beating his spoon against the plate creating a distinctive clinking sound. “Seriously, Kihyun? Everyone in Korea knows about it. Where have you been living? Planet Mars? Don't say you also don't know about the many rumors that this incident was the reason why we were finally able to debut.”

“What do you mean?” Kihyun frowned. He really didn't understand the relation between them.

Minhyuk sighed heavily this time. He knew how dense Kihyun was, but he couldn't believe that Kihyun had missed the news. Both of them are different in personality. Minhyuk likes to hang out with many people so he gets a lot of information or gossip. “I know your brain was only focused on debuting at that time. But, come on, Kihyun, you should know about that. Are you not watching television or maybe listening to gossip?”

“You know my story right? I train so hard everyday to debut soon. I don't have time to do unnecessary things like gossip.”

“So do you think I did something unnecessary?”

“That's not what I meant! You know it right? I just need to,” Kihyun raised his voice desperately. His voice sounded like it was choking. He let out a breath and his hands clenched into the air. His mouth closed several times because he could not compose the words. “I just,  _ hufh _ , need to debut and then...”

“It's okay. I'm sorry about what I'm saying. I know it, I know. I'm sorry, Kihyun.” Minhyuk realized he had crossed the line when he saw that desperate face. He patted the shoulder slowly and gave a light pat so Kihyun felt calmer. At that time, Hyunwoo only paid attention to the two of them and for the umpteenth time he could not follow the flow of the two men in front of him. But he knew something happened with Kihyun back then. The singer seemed so restless and desperate while arguing with Minhyuk. However, Hyunwoo wouldn’t question it because past issues didn’t need to be discussed again—just like the incident 5 years ago which became Hyunwoo's nightmare.

The atmosphere became silent since the debate between Minhyuk and Kihyun even Minhyuk forgot about his question. Hyunwoo continued to pay attention to Kihyun's every move, fortunately he sat opposite Minhyuk so he could pay attention to the singer more clearly. Kihyun’s face looked better after eating breakfast. Hyunwoo smiled a little.

The sound of the telephone ring took him by surprise. Kihyun immediately approached the phone on the table near the living room sofa and then spoke with someone who called.

“I'm sorry. Can I ask you something?” Hyunwoo turned his attention to Minhyuk who was busy watching Kihyun. Minhyuk had finished his breakfast, he sat up straight and turned his attention to Hyunwoo who looked so serious. “Can you tell me about your relationship with Mr Yoo? And then the first letter? When was it found? What kind of situation?”

Minhyuk sighed heavily. He had expected since deciding to come see Kihyun's condition, that he would be interrogated by Hyunwoo. Minhyuk understood that we had to work together even though there was actually something he was worried about the singer.

The silver haired man told everything to Hyunwoo. Minhyuk and Hyungwon are Kihyun's closest friends. They have known each other since the three of them became trainees in the agency. They also debuted on the same day although in the end they focused their careers on different paths: Minhyuk became a solo singer while Hyungwon became a model and DJ. Before debut, the three of them lived in a dorm facilitated by the agency along with several other trainees. According to information provided by Minhyuk, before becoming a trainee, Kihyun lived with his manager, Park Hyerin. As long as Minhyuk knew, he didn't have any suspicion of the trainees they knew because basically, Kihyun didn't hang out with other trainees apart from the two of them. Besides, Kihyun achieved popularity in a short time due to his talent but he never got into trouble with anyone because Kihyun treated people around him well.

The first letter was found in Kihyun's waiting room on K-song television broadcast station. At that time, there was a major musical event attended by talented artists. Therefore, there were a lot of people who came to the television studio—such as artists, singers, staff, producers, or even just a person delivering food orders for guests. It has become a routine for Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Kihyun to visit each other when they are invited to the same event.

Minhyuk sent a message to the group chat for an appointment and Kihyun replied to meet him in his waiting room because he happened to order a lot of fried chicken for the staff and invited his two best friends to taste them too. In addition, because it was Kihyun's turn to perform was the last of the three of them. All the way to Kihyun's waiting room—where the position of the waiting room of each guest was not so far from each other—Minhyuk didn't really pay attention to whether there were suspicious people sneaking in because there were too many people passing by. Even on their way to the waiting room, they met many people and greeted each other. When they entered the waiting room there was only Kihyun in the room and he stood still while holding a letter that he found on the dresser.

None of them suspected the letter. Kihyun opened it when Minhyuk and Hyungwon were busy opening the fried chicken box on the center table of the room. Seeing Kihyun's confused expression while reading the letter, Minhyuk approached Kihyun while chewing his chicken—the silver haired man was surprised to read the offensive writing on the letter and asked Hyungwon to read it. The atmosphere suddenly became tense. They didn’t understand what the letter meant. At that time, Minhyuk saw how Kihyun's facial expression turned pale and one of his hands was shaking. Until finally Minhyuk and Hyungwon looked at each other and broke the silence into a joke. But Minhyuk and Hyungwon knew it well, so that their jokes had only a momentary effect because they could see Kihyun remained restless throughout the event.

Minhyuk doubted whether he should say it. His hands were clenched nervously. Even so, he was so worried about his friend's fate. “I never thought that the letter was such a threat before. But after I think it again and again, maybe the letter has something to do with Kihyun's past that he told us about.”

“Mr Yoo's past?” Hyunwoo frowned.

“Yes, all this time Kihyun was looking for—”

“What are you talking about?” Kihyun interrupted. He stared alternately at Minhyuk and Hyunwoo's serious faces.

Minhyuk smiled. “Nothing. Hyunwoo only asked about that first letter.” Kihyun nodded slowly and said ‘oh’ in a small voice. The two of them looked at each other as if they were communicating. Minhyuk continued, “Was it Hyerin- _ noona _ ? Is she still in the police?”

Kihyun nodded again. “Yes, I decided not to prolong this matter. I don't want to sue them.”

“What is this about?” Hyunwoo interrupted. He started to get dizzy with the state of the conversation that he couldn't follow smoothly. A lot of information was needed at this time. Even though his role was only as a physical protector, Hyunwoo didn’t want to remain silent as the culprit continued to move to plan a mission that is increasingly perfect.

“I decided to release the perpetrators who pelted me with rotten things yesterday.” Kihyun stated firmly, his eyes staring at Hyunwoo as if he was challenging him. Hyunwoo was in deep thought. Hyunwoo knew it that the singer wasn’t a predictable person.

“Why?” Hyunwoo narrowed his eyes.

“What the hell, Kihyun? There is a possibility that those two were involved in the threat letter and you released them instead?” Minhyuk held his head which was starting to hurt. If only he hadn't come to Kihyun's residence, maybe he wouldn't have bothered thinking about it. But since Kihyun had been difficult to contact since last night, Minhyuk thought about visiting him first.

“I just don't want to make this a big problem. They could just be haters or something.” Kihyun shrugged his shoulders, indicating that yesterday's incident was nothing to watch out for.

“I don't understand you, Kihyun. You might be in the dangerous situation right now but you're doing something stupid.”

“What's so wrong about that? I just want to live in peace. Why can I get that? So you think I'm stupid now?” His voice grew louder and higher. As if Kihyun was emotionally unstable.

“I'm worried about you. Me, Hyungwon, us, just worry about you. Why can't you understand that? Why don't you ever listen to us?” Minhyuk raised his voice even higher. His breath became hunting. Kihyun was pensive, realizing how Minhyuk and the others looked at the situation. Kihyun has always been the most stubborn person.

“Calm down, everyone.” Hyunwoo interrupted the debate again. He gave a softer and calmer voice to lower the tension. Hyunwoo understood Minhyuk's point of view, even though he still questioned why the singer had decided different things. Hyunwoo was still thinking about what happened last night. “You guys are best friends, right? At times like this we must support each other. So don't fight.”

The tension subsided. Even so, the two of them didn't talk to each other anymore. Minhyuk returned home in silence. Kihyun just stared at him away, even so Hyunwoo could see the regret in Kihyun's eyes. Since then, Hyunwoo and Kihyun didn't talk to each other either. Kihyun locked himself in the room all day without Hyunwoo being able to know what the singer was doing.

In the afternoon, the furniture employee came and brought a new set of beds for Hyunwoo's room so that the room looked narrower than usual. At that time, Kihyun didn't show up either, but Manager Park came and arranged everything. Night began to come, Hyunwoo's butt began to feel numb from sitting on the sofa for too long and watching the laptop that was placed on the table. Hyunwoo was still busy watching the cctv recordings brought by Minhyuk since noon. He decided to watch 48 hours of CCTV video around the waiting room hall of K-song television station before Kihyun got the first letter. It was so hard to find anything suspicious.

Within the 48 hours duration, the hallway of the waiting room looked so busy. Various kinds of people with their respective duties kept pacing back and forth without stopping. He repeated, fast forward, rewind the video to analyze the situation. Hyunwoo didn't understand the entertainment world so he didn't recognize who the famous people were invited even though he could tell them apart from the flashy clothes they were wearing. In the 5 hours before the first letter was found, Hyunwoo saw Kihyun's arrival with the manager and stylists in the waiting room. Then in the duration of 4 hours before the letter was found, a food box delivery man came carrying 50 boxes of fried chicken. Instantly, Hyunwoo remembered Minhyuk's story. It seemed that Minhyuk knew something but he hesitated to tell Hyunwoo even more when Minhyuk mentioned about the singer's past.

Hyunwoo had seen Hyungwon and Minhyuk with their staff stop in front of Kihyun's waiting room and chat with other people who looked like actors. Then at a duration of 3 hours before the letter was found, the stylists left the room, followed by manager Park, and soon Kihyun came out with neat clothes and makeup. After that, no one entered the room. There were only a few people passing in the hallway. Thirty minutes later, Kihyun came back to the waiting room alone. He had turned around before entering the room. 

Ten minutes later, a man Hyunwoo didn't recognize came into the room casually alone. He was wearing a navy blue jacket. His hair was black, his cheeks were slightly chubby and his eyes were narrow. Hyunwoo paused the video to have a clear look at the man's face—he didn't know who the man was. One hour passed, Kihyun and the man were still in the room. Hyunwoo was surprised when he saw the two of them come out of the room arguing. Kihyun looked frustrated and the man in the blue jacket chased after Kihyun who was running in an unknown direction.

“Who is he? Why were they arguing?" Hyunwoo rewinded the recorded moment over and over.

  
  


**~~oOo~~**

  
  


It was useless. He didn’t know how many hours had passed, but it turned out to be useless. Kihyun couldn't sleep. His head felt really hurt, but still he couldn't fall asleep. Every time he closed his eyes, the blurry image came and haunted him. Every time he fell asleep, the dream choked his neck. He turned to the window and found that the sky had darkened. Kihyun would certainly not be able to sleep until tomorrow morning for sure.

He picked up the cell phone that was placed on the nightstand. The singer reread the message sent by Minhyuk that read ‘I'm sorry’ and Kihyun replied with the same thing. He thought maybe he had done something too much to Minhyuk and the others. But in his heart, Kihyun just wanted them all to be well. Kihyun only wanted the best for the people around him.

Maybe, Kihyun had lived alone for too long. He felt so lonely in his stately home. Solitude made him remember the past. A painful and lonely past. That's why he really loves to appear in front of fans, they made Kihyun's heart feel full. But he knew all of that wasn’t eternal. Being a singer actually wasn’t his dream life. He became a singer because of despair and he was cornered not knowing what to do, then the opportunity came.

Due to the tension that occurred with Minhyuk, Kihyun was reluctant to continue chatting with him. Usually, he would rely on his two friends. But now he couldn't. He couldn't involve them. But suddenly he remembered that he had involved  _ someone _ . Yeah, and  _ that someone _ was there, across his bedroom.

  
  


**~~oOo~~**

  
  


He didn't know how many times he repeated it, but Hyunwoo still didn't understand. Hyunwoo tried to see the movements of Kihyun's lips to guess what he was saying to the man, but it turned out that it was so difficult because the video quality was not good. Finally, the video stopped just as the face of the man in the dark blue jacket was clearly visible. He stared at the man’s face for so long until he felt dizzy. Finally he closed the laptop for a moment for rest.

Hyunwoo sighed heavily. He corrected his sitting position because his legs started tingling. Then he reached for something from his trouser pocket, which was a wallet. He took out two photos from the wallet. One of the photos depicts a photo of Hyunwoo together with Hoseok and a boy who looks younger than him, while the other photo was a photo of Hyunwoo with the boy. He stared at those photos in observance. It was always like that, how many times and how long he looks at the photo, the reality could never be changed.

Hyunwoo's shoulders jolted as he heard a knock on his bedroom door—it seemed like hyunwoo had been immersed in his own imagination for too long. He invited that person in. His eyes flashed with relief as he saw the man who had come. The smaller man looked fine.

“Am I bothering you?”

Hyunwoo got up from the seat and gave him a respectful bow. “No. No. It's fine.” He never thought that the singer would finally come to him.

Kihyun walked slowly closer to the sofa. He saw Hyunwoo holding two photos, but he could not clearly see whose photo Hyunwoo was holding—he could only see there were 2 figures in one of the photos. Realizing that, Hyunwoo immediately put back the photo in his wallet and put it back into the pocket.

Kihyun awkwardly sat on the sofa next to Hyunwoo. He didn't know how to start the conversation. On the other hand, Hyunwoo felt a little bit awkward too. It turned out that he still couldn't get used to being around the singer without anyone else presenting. After all, they didn't know each other before and now they have to live under the same roof.

“Hyunwoo / Mr. Yoo.” The two of them turned and called out. The two of them looked at each other for a moment. Kihyun laughed. At the moment, Hyunwoo felt comfortable listening to that laughing.

“I'm sorry.” Hyunwoo smiled. Kihyun giggled as if he hadn't laughed in a long time. “It's late, why haven't you slept yet?”

“I can't sleep.” His laughter stopped. Kihyun sat hugging his folded legs on the sofa. “What are you doing?”

“Just doing some research.”

“You work so hard, aren't you? I'm sorry.”

“Don't say that. This is my duty as your bodyguard, sir.”

Kihyun hummed. He plays with the hem of his sweater. “You know, I didn't like you at first. Especially when you suddenly appeared in front of my bathroom.” He looked at that face. “But now, I think you're the one who can help me. I know this sounds so weird but I'm really sorry that I took advantage of you. Well, I just want to say that. I sincerely say thank you.”

“It’s okay. Yeah, it sounds so weird, even though I'm also the one who decides to help and then you pay me too.” Hyunwoo stared at Kihyun's face, the singer’s eyes stared at the floor as if the floor was an interesting spectacle. Suddenly, Kihyun smiled bitterly and muttered ‘yeah’.

Kihyun didn't come to say dark things. He tried to change the topic. He just wanted to know more about his bodyguard. He wanted to get closer with him. “Do you love chicken?”

“I don't picky about food. I love everything edible.” Hyunwoo answered with a flat face. Kihyun laughed again, he wondered why Hyunwoo would answer his ridiculous question that seriously. “How about you, sir?”

“I love it the most. I could eat chicken until I die. How about your age?”

“28 years old.”

“Really? You're one year older than me. Should I call you hyung?”

“Please don't. You're my boss. It's gonna feel weird.”

His eyes began to feel faint. He blinked several times. His brain worked so hard to think what kind of questions to ask in order for the conversation to continue. “Where did you live before? Do you have parents or siblings?”

“I lived quite far from here, around Yongsan district.” They stare at each other. The sound of clock ticking filled the room. “I live alone and I only have a father. I'm the only child. How about you, Mr Yoo?”

“Hmm,” the singer rested his head on his knees. His face looked so sleepy and his eyes bag looked so clearly visible, “You can say, I only have Hyerin now.”

“Are you siblings?” Kihyun shook his head weakly. His gaze shifted to another place. Hyunwoo caught the point, Kihyun didn't want to explain. That's why Hyunwoo didn't want to mess up the moment. “You know, I don't know much about the entertainment industry, but I love your singing, sir. Your song yesterday, I don't know what the title is, but it captives me.”

Kihyun turned his head, stared back at Hyunwoo. His eyes radiated enthusiasm. “Really?” Hyunwoo nodded and smiled.

Five minutes that felt like all year round. Kihyun sang the song again with a slower rhythm, with his head still asleep on his knees, as if the song had become a lullaby. His body swayed right and left slowly following the rhythm. His hands tightly hugged his legs. His eyes were closed.

> **Hanbeon deo nareul bwarabwajullae? ( _Can you take another look at me?_ )**
> 
> **Naega nae modeun geol jul su issge ( _So I can give my everything_ )**

Kihyun looked so different in Hyunwoo's eyes at that time. The way he sang on stage and when he sang in front of him at this moment exuded a different aura. When on the stage, he was the singer Kihyun. But at this time, he was just Kihyun. The singing was still melodic and beautiful but captivates hearts in a different way. Hyunwoo couldn't take his eyes off the figure of Kihyun who was singing comfortably as if he could fall asleep because of his own singing. 

> **Ni maeum yeoreojullae? ( _Can you open up your heart?_ )**
> 
> **Saranghae neoege i malbakke ( _Besides saying I love you_ )**

That feeling of wanting to protect arose uninvited. Hyunwoo’s world turned around for the second time. Hyunwoo just knew it, yes, he just knew it. Hyunwoo paid attention too much to the others. Kihyun sang in a voice that sinks deeper into the dreamland. His lips moved and slowly stopped. His breath was normal and rhythmic. His eyes were tightly closed. His face was peaceful. His hands that were hugging his legs had fallen onto the sofa. His soft hair hung beautifully above his knees. He fell asleep in that position. He slept curled up like a child who needed protection.

> **Haejugo sipeun mal eopsneunde ( _Those words the only words I wanna say to you_ )**
> 
> **Neoneun ajikdo ireon nal moreuneunde ( _But you don’t even know this yet_ )**

Hyunwoo finally realized that taking care of someone was the thing he loved the most in this world. He already took a step into a new world called Yoo Kihyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A / N: I purposely made this chapter longer instead of a late update. There are lots of hints in this chapter. I'm really sorry because there wasn’t much showki moment for the sake of the plot now but it will be more intense in the future.
> 
> Thank you for reading this fic. See you.


	6. The Beautiful Memories; The Key

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I’m back. As I mentioned in the last chapter, I’ll update it this week. Please don’t pay attention to grammatical errors.
> 
> Disclaimer : If there are similarities between places and events, they are purely a coincidence. Everything that happens in this fiction is the author's imagination so please read it wisely.

He remembered them clearly, those beautiful memories. Even though the conditions never support his life, the feeling of  _ ‘you are not alone in this world and you will do whatever it takes to protect the people you care about’ _ becomes the trigger that inspires the spirit to survive.

> _ “Hyung, can you sing a song for me?” _
> 
> _ “Again? You sure love it, huh?” _
> 
> _ “Yes, I love your voice, Hyung. Your voice is so beautiful. It can make me sleep well.” _
> 
> _ “Is that so? Well, it's okay then. I'll sing as much as you want.” _
> 
> _ “Yey, I hope one day you become a famous singer. Lots of people will love your voice.” _
> 
> _ “I'm not really sure.” _
> 
> _ “I am sure. Trust me!” _
> 
> _ “Hahahaha. If that's what you want, I'll do it.” _
> 
> _ “I hope that time comes soon.” _
> 
> _ “I hope so.” _
> 
> _ “Kihyun, I have good news! Maybe, with this opportunity, you can become a singer.” _
> 
> _ “Really?” _
> 
> _ “The agency I’m working for now is recruiting new trainees. I'm sure you can do it.” _
> 
> _ “Thank you. Thank you very much!” _

He opened his eyes slowly. His brows furrowed. His eyes still couldn’t see clearly because the light was too bright. His eyelids blinked several times to match the incoming light. He sighed as he laid on his back on the bed that felt softer than usual. He inhaled the air and exhaled it slowly.

He didn't know what happened but his body felt lighter that morning. His head wasn’t as dizzy as usual. His neck also didn’t feel stiff. And it seemed he slept so soundly last night—so soundly that he didn't realize the clock on the wall had shown 7 o'clock in the morning. He stretched his body while stretching the stiff muscles due to sleeping lying on the right side all night. Finally, he realized that he had slept in an unfamiliar thick blanket. The ceiling in his room felt different from usual—he remembered that the ceiling of his bedroom was not painted with white color, but why was it white now? As he remembered, last night, after exchanging messages with Minhyuk, he went to Hyunwoo's room, they were talking while sitting on the sofa and then he sang a song after that—

“Hah?” Kihyun suddenly woke up from his sleep. He sat on the soft bed that was brand new and had the smell of new fabric. His eyes grew wide in surprise at not being in his own room. Finally he remembered why he was there. But Kihyun couldn't remember why he was lying on the bed at that time. Kihyun should have fallen asleep on the sofa—

His eyes caught the presence of a man who was sleeping on the sofa. Finally Kihyun found out who laid him on the bed.

Months had passed and Kihyun never slept well at night. Only that night he could sleep soundly without being haunted by nightmares. Kihyun didn't know how to react.

Hyunwoo fell asleep peacefully in sitting position and leaned his back against the sofa. Even so, his body seemed uncomfortable sleeping in that position. One of his hands was grasping something and he was holding it tightly over his chest. Kihyun was silent for a moment looking at him. The laptop was still turned on, on the table. He must be working hard until the morning—Kihyun thought.

Kihyun got off the bed. He walked over to the sofa. His eyes caught the presence of an item that was gripped tightly by Hyunwoo.  _ Ah, a photo. _ Kihyun remembered when he entered this room last night, Hyunwoo was looking at two photos but he immediately put them back in his wallet after Kihyun stepped into his room. _ ‘Why is he holding it so tight? Is that photo so precious to him?’ _ Kihyun talked to himself. Instantly he remembered the past, if only they could take pictures, maybe now that face wouldn’t be so faded in Kihyun's memory.

Kihyun never thought before that looking at other people's sleeping faces was the thing he liked the most so far. When he looked at Hyunwoo's sleeping face, Kihyun realized those memories. In the past, yes, he was always the one who fell asleep last to look after someone precious to him. But right now, it was someone else who was waiting for him to fall asleep. Kihyun knew everything, that Hyunwoo didn't sleep last night because his bodyguard waited in front of his room until dawn. Kihyun felt guilty because Hyunwoo had to witness how weak Kihyun was at night and ended up getting involved in this sad drama.

Kihyun stood not so far from the sleeping Hyunwoo. Kihyun noticed that those eyes were still closed. A face that turned out to be more handsome than when he woke up. His lips are thick. His shoulders seemed wider when he leaned on the sofa, as if they could provide a strong support for life. Kihyun muttered the word sorry in a barely audible voice.

Kihyun didn't know the reason why Hyunwoo wanted to help him. Maybe the motive was money or maybe it was just a formality because of his close friendship with Hoseok. But right now, Kihyun felt lucky. His eyes looked back at the existence of a photo in the grasp of the big hand. The photo triggered Kihyun's curiosity—his mind thought about questions like: what kind of person who meant so much to his bodyguard that he kept holding it even while sleeping. Kihyun approached him slowly. His hand tried to reach the tip of the photo.

_ Bzzz _ —the sound of the mobile phone on the table made Kihyun's body jolted. The cell phone screen lit up and a message popped up. Kihyun approached the table and picked up the cellphone—it was Hyunwoo's cell phone. One of his hands accidentally touched the mouse that connected to the laptop until finally the laptop screen turned back on.

A message from ‘Hoseok’ appeared that read:  _ Hyunwoo, the agency agreed to hold a press conference. I think this is bad. Have you found a clue? _

Kihyun's eyes widened as he was reading it, especially when his eyes shifted to the lit laptop screen. The screen showed a full screen video that was paused. Kihyun's hands trembled when he saw a picture of a man in a navy blue jacket appearing on the laptop screen in poor resolution. His teeth were clenched and his chin felt stiff as if a scream came out of his mouth but caught at the end of his throat. His eyes were restless in all directions. His breath began to hunt.

“Mr Yoo? Are you okay?”

Kihyun turned his head quickly. A drop of sweat fell down on his temple. His eyes were staring at Hyunwoo who had a confused face. He gulped.

Kihyun didn't know why but the voice and the gaze were so soft that they finally made his panic subside, “I'm... I'm okay.”

“Are you sure?” Hyunwoo leaned forward, carried his weight on his elbows on his knees and then looked at Kihyun in an observant from a lower position, to make sure that he really saw the singer's face clearly and saw for himself that Kihyun was fine.

“Yes.” Kihyun took a step back because he felt the intense gaze of Hyunwoo who was so damn close. The two of them stared at each other for a moment and forgot about the ticking clock sound filling up the silence of the room. Kihyun was immersed in the euphoria of Hyunwoo's gaze. He forced a smile. “Since you're awake, hurry up and take a shower. I'll make you something for breakfast.” Kihyun rushed to the door. He briefly looked at Hyunwoo before leaving the room. After leaving the room, Kihyun's footsteps stopped. He looked back at the door of the room, squeezing his chest.

Hyunwoo stared at the singer's back that disappeared from his sight. He could clearly see that panicked face as Hyunwoo woke up hearing the sound of the cell phone vibrating. He didn't understand it yet, but he could tell only from Kihyun’s facial expression that something was happening especially when Kihyun saw the picture of the man in the navy blue jacket.

“This man is definitely the key.”

Hyunwoo looked back at the man's blurry face on the laptop screen. He carved that face vividly into his memory.

**~~oOo~~**

Hyunwoo got used to the house. He had recognized all the corners very quickly and figured out the possible places to hide. You could say, there weren't many places like that in the singer's mansion. This was also an advantage for Hyunwoo's work when monitoring the environment.

Even though he was used to the house, he was not used to its owner. It was true that in the end Kihyun came to him last night and they talked about a few small things. But still it felt a bit awkward especially when their eyes met and stared at each other. It seemed like something inside Hyunwoo was roaring and fighting back.

Last night, Kihyun fell asleep on the sofa while singing to him. Hyunwoo kept staring at that sleeping face for almost more than 30 minutes. From the situation, Hyunwoo finally found out that Kihyun looked so tired. His small body looked weak and helpless. He rested only on his legs that were folded in front of his chest. Until finally the body shook and almost fell from its pedestal. Hyunwoo caught the body so swiftly but the touch remained as soft as possible so that Kihyun didn't wake up. He could smell the refreshing aroma of shampoo on the top of Kihyun's head.

Feeling that body writhing uncomfortably and his brow wrinkling, Hyunwoo finally lifted and carried Kihyun. His body felt so light, as if it was made that light so Hyunwoo could easily carry him. Hyunwoo brought him to the bed and slowly laid him. He took a thick blanket to cover the small body which was getting cold. After that, Hyunwoo subconsciously glanced at Kihyun’s face—that firm eyebrows, small cheeks, eyes closed with curvy lashes, a sharp nose, and then the thin lips that were slightly pale. Hyunwoo sank into the world of dreams, as if he saw an angel.

“There isn't much left in the fridge, I have to go shopping. I'll make an omelette with demi glace sauce, is it okay for you?” Kihyun's voice woke Hyunwoo up from the dream scenario. He adjusted his seat.

“It's okay for me.” Kihyun chuckled. Just now Hyunwoo remembered that he had told Kihyun last night that he wasn’t picky about food. Kihyun took out some eggs, onions and mushrooms from the refrigerator. He also went back and forth to pick up some utensils for cooking. Instantly Hyunwoo felt bad. He left the dining table and went to the singer in the kitchen. “You don't need to be bothered like that. I'm fine with anything.”

Realizing that Hyunwoo was restless, Kihyun smiled. “It's okay. I haven't cooked in a while. I have no appetite lately and Hyerin cooks for me.”

“But,” Hyunwoo's words stopped when Kihyun glared at him—certainly not a terrible glare—but make Hyunwoo realized that Kihyun did not accept rejection. “Okay, but let me help you, Mr Yoo.”

Kihyun narrowed his eyes and looked doubtful at his bodyguard. “Are you sure you won't mess up my kitchen?” There was a silence. Kihyun laughed again, Hyunwoo liked that laughing sound. Because it sounded so cheerful as if there was no burden anymore. “All right, please help me chop these mushrooms, Mr. Assistant.”

Even though he looked stiff and muscular, Hyunwoo had been used to cooking for himself since living alone. Because of that, Kihyun was quite surprised when he saw Hyunwoo cutting mushrooms and onions easily even though he cut them carelessly, too slow and sloppy. Usually Kihyun is so perfectionist even when it comes to such small matters, but somehow his bodyguard looked so funny when he did it so Kihyun couldn’t get angry.

“I'm sorry about last night, I fell asleep while we talked.” Kihyun crushed some garlic to peel off the skin then he chopped it until delicate. He cut them smoothly like an amateur chef. Next he cut some leeks. Hyunwoo loves leeks.

Hyunwoo was stunned by the singer's cutting skills. “No, it's fine. You seemed so tired, so…”

“Is that so?” Kihyun collected all of the cut ingredients in a separate container. Then he took a small iron container and cleaned it with a clean cloth. He broke six eggs into the container and added a few drops of oyster sauce into it. He beated the eggs until they were combined. After that he sifted the eggs so that there were no lumpy parts. “Is my body heavy?”

Hyunwoo blinked several times because he didn't understand what Kihyun said. Feeling the silence, Kihyun stared at Hyunwoo for a moment. “Oh, no. Not really.” Hyunwoo didn't see it wrong. He could see the tips of those cheeks were slightly flushed red.

“Why don't you just bring me to my room or maybe just wake me up? You look uncomfortable sleeping on the sofa.” Kihyun took two portions of rice from the rice cooker. Hyunwoo noticed Kihyun's hand gesture asking for the frying pan that was in the upper cabinet.

He took the frying pan quickly and handed it to Kihyun. At that moment, their hands touched each other. Silence broke out again as each of them was watching the touching hands. Hyunwoo withdrew his hand quickly before awkwardness emerged. “It is okay. For some reason, I feel I have to accompany you, sir.”

Kihyun understood. Hyunwoo's job at the house was as a bodyguard who protects his boss. He did it because it was his job and Kihyun was the one who asked him to become a bodyguard. Yes, nothing more than that.

Kihyun turned on the stove and when he thought the pan was getting hot, he put in the butter and waited for it to melt. After that he put the chopped garlic, mushrooms and onions and then sautéed them until they were wilted. Next he put the rice in and poured canned demi glace sauce until it blended like fried rice. After he was done with the rice, he started making omelets and dividing them into two portions.

Hyunwoo was stunned when an omelette rice was presented in front of his eyes from the makeshift ingredients but looked so fancy—especially when Kihyun put the omelette on top of the rice and cut it in the middle so that the fluffy omelette fell to the bottom of the plate beautifully. He also sprinkled chopped green onions on top. The aroma was appetizing. He ate it slowly. “This is really good, sir. Seriously, delicious.”

Kihyun smiled shyly. It had been a long time since he cooked for someone. It felt great especially when the person said the food was delicious.

Hyunwoo entered a guard position and was alert as he heard the entrance door open. But he felt relieved when he saw the appearance of manager Park. Yes, Hyunwoo was used to the house but he wasn't used to people who could trespass into the house.

“Wow, Kihyun. You cook? What’s happening?” Manager Park approached with a sparkling face. Her nose already smelled the savory aroma from inside the house as she opened the door earlier. She tried to look at Kihyun but Kihyun looked away in another direction. The manager tapped on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. “Listen, Hyunwoo. The last time I saw him cooking was when we were living together, before I married my husband. He said, cooking is for other people, not yourself. Therefore he has never cooked since living alone.”

“Huh, because I'm hungry so I cook.”

“Hungry? But lately you said you have no appetite so I come this early to cook for you everyday.”

“You come late and I'm hungry,” Kihyun answered firmly, nodding. Hyunwoo glanced at the singer. Their gazes met and stared at each other for a moment, after that Kihyun shifted his gaze to his plate awkwardly.

“It's 8 in the morning, Kihyun. It's not too late for breakfast.” Kihyun didn't answer, he was busy eating the omelette rice. The manager sighed and smiled a little. “Whatever, but don't forget about today's schedule. I'm sorry I know what just happened and the public is still not quiet about it but we have to meet Jooheon today because he can't change his schedule.”

“Jooheon?” Hyunwoo asked curiously, apart from the name ‘Minhyuk’ it seemed like he had heard that name mentioned when he met Chae Hyungwon. In addition, as he remembered, the name Lee Jooheon was one of the names involved in the fourth letter— _ ah _ , the fourth letter was discovered by Manager Park when Kihyun was doing radio broadcasting together with Lee Jooheon!

“Yes, Lee Jooheon. One of the artists of our sister company. Kihyun is in the process of finalizing a duet project with him.” Manager Park replied, he approached Hyunwoo and sat next to him. “Remember? When I found the fourth letter in the radio studio waiting room, it happened a moment after Jooheon came and joined the radio broadcast.” Hyunwoo nodded.

“Can't we delay meeting with him?” Kihyun returned to playing the food on his plate. His voice sounded doubtful and barely audible. After paying attention to Kihyun often, Hyunwoo knew the times when Kihyun was distracting the moment. He could see how Kihyun was getting nervous and didn't want to look at anyone. Kihyun took a glass of water and drank it quickly.

“Like I said before, we can't change the schedule. Your schedule for the next few weeks is so tight, as is Jooheon, while the song release schedule is less than a month.” Park Hyerin was actually worried about Kihyun's current condition, but the schedule couldn't be changed. If only she had more power, Hyerin would definitely work for it. “I'm sorry you have to keep working at this time. Because there are a lot of media waiting for news at the agency, I've tried contacting Lee Jooheon's manager and they agreed to meet at Jooheon's residence to avoid the media.”

“Are you okay with that, sir?” Hyunwoo didn't mean to challenge him but his gaze gave a signal that he needed Kihyun's attention. Actually, Hyunwoo was worried even though Kihyun thought it was a challenge.

“I'm okay. There isn't another choice. Let's get ready.” He got up and left Hyunwoo with Manager Park in the dining room confidently.

**~~oOo~~**

Hyunwoo stood in front of Kihyun's room for 30 minutes ago. He was already wearing neat clothes in the form of a black suit and white shirt that was exactly the same as the formal clothes he wore when he met Kihyun for the first time. He didn't know the reason why he was standing still in front of Kihyun's room. It was just that something has been bothering him since earlier.

Manager Park said that day's incident had become viral news in the society, including among artists and celebrities. Therefore, maybe Hyunwoo should prepare for the unexpected event when he went to escort Kihyun. Moreover, because of the day's schedule, Manager Park was forced to explain the existing conditions to Lee Jooheon and his crew to avoid any distractions during their meeting and ask Lee Jooheon's security to protect the environment from strangers and the media. According to him, the meeting held at Jooheon's residence was the best choice to avoid many people knowing the position of Kihyun's residence and reducing the risk of strangers infiltrating.

“What are you doing here?” The voice awakened Hyunwoo's consciousness which was immersed in his mind palace. When his eyes looked forward, he saw the figure of Kihyun who was neatly dressed in a dark brown coat that matched his light brown hair color. He looked even smaller wearing that coat, as if his size matched Hyunwoo's big body.

“I'm waiting for you, sir.”

“You can wait in the living room.” Kihyun stared confusedly at Hyunwoo, while Hyunwoo did not respond. Kihyun unconsciously laughed again. “I know you were hired to escort me all over the place, but this is my home.” The little chuckles still didn't stop and were followed by a sweet smile. Kihyun was remembering the incident a few days ago where he really hated Hyunwoo's presence who was always going and following him everywhere.

Kihyun walked past his bodyguard, while Hyunwoo was just silent.

“Mr Yoo.” Kihyun looked back, looked at Hyunwoo.

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Kihyun turned around and standing faced Hyunwoo. His both hands put in the pockets of the long coat. “What is it?”

“I know I sound rude, but,” Hyunwoo faced Kihyun and looked at him seriously, “If something happens, would you tell me honestly? I know that I'm not your bestfriend or even considered as a friend, but that's the only one request I ask from you.”

The atmosphere became quiet. An imaginary needle appeared and stabbed right into Kihyun's chest. He smiled bitterly. “Silly.” But he knew that Hyunwoo was waiting for an answer. Kihyun walked away. Hyunwoo tugged at his wrist. Kihyun shifted his gaze to the wrist he was holding. The hand was big and strong but the touch was soft and not painful, but forced him to stay.

“Of course I am. I'll tell you honestly because it concerns my safety, right?”

Hyunwoo let go of his grip and let Kihyun go without even looking at him.

**~~oOo~~**

The journey to Lee Jooheon's residence was quite difficult. Some media and fansite seemed to know that Kihyun had a schedule to meet Jooheon but they didn't know where they would meet. Some of them had been waiting at several points on the main highway that Kihyun and his entourage used to pass. Apart from being a physical protector, a bodyguard must also be able to make travel plans to protect the privacy of the protected subject. Hyunwoo had made several alternative travel routes to avoid media attention and he himself drove the car.

“I didn't think the media was observant enough.” Manager Park exclaimed. “Looks like they are working with the fansites.”

“The fans must be worried about me. I didn't give them news.” Kihyun opened his cell phone and read all of the fans's comments on his social media. All of his fans were worried and asked about Kihyun’s condition. But right now, Kihyun couldn't give them any news even though he really wanted to.

“Be patient. The agency has approved your press conference request because it looks like the fans are terrorizing the agency for confirmation. We'll let them know then.”

“Will it be okay?”

“I don't know but we will see.”

Hyunwoo glanced at Kihyun through the reflection of the car window. The singer was watching the streets in silence, his eyes glistening with enthusiasm every now and then. Hyunwoo knew that Kihyun was looking forward to the press conference.

After going through a route that was quite long and took a little longer, they finally arrived at Jooheon's residence. As expected, neither the media nor fansites thought that the meeting would be held at Jooheon's house. And as expected too, Jooheon's residence was no less luxurious than Kihyun’s because they were both successful artists. The only real difference was : Jooheon's residence was filled with many people who are his servants and securities.

Some of the house securities were ready at several points of the house even in front of the entrance gate to monitor the surrounding environment. They came and were greeted by Jooheon's personal manager. His manager said that Jooheon was in his private studio to finish some new songs and he would call Jooheon soon to meet them.

Kihyun and Manager Park sat casually in the living room. Some servants also provide food and drinks for them. Hyunwoo stood on the side of the sofa while watching the house. His eyes caught the presence of two cats playing near the stairs. They must be Jooheon's pet. The bells on their necks rang as they ran over. The sound of the bell sounded rhythmic and brought Hyunwoo to the deepest memory in his brain.

> _ “Hyung, look at them. They're so cute.” The person crouched down and rubbed the heads of the two kittens. _
> 
> _ “You sure love cats, don't you?” Hyunwoo also crouched down but had a little trouble because he was carrying several weapons in his waist bag. He took off the two black gloves he was wearing and joined in stroking one of the kittens. _
> 
> _ “Yes, I do.” _
> 
> _ “Why not just keep them?” _
> 
> _ “Because I don't wanna?” _
> 
> _ Hyunwoo chuckled. “I see. You don't only like cats but you also look like a cat.” Hyunwoo rubbed the person's head roughly and ruffled his hair. _
> 
> _ “Don't tease me, Hyung. Or I'm gonna bite you.” _
> 
> _ “See?” _
> 
> _ Hoseok shouted from a distance, “Changkyun, let's get ready. Hyunwoo too.” _

Hyunwoo almost forgot about that memory. Like old, worn sheets.

“Do you love cats? Their names are Yoshi and Gujji.” The voice woke up Hyunwoo's daydream. He immediately lowered his head towards the sound that came. His eyes shifted focus to the person's bare feet before seeing his face. The voice was unknown, it might be the voice of the person they would meet, namely Lee Jooheon.

The moment was so thrilling for Hyunwoo. His eyes widened as he stared at the talented artist. Hyunwoo had been carving it vividly in his memory for the past 48 hours.  _ His hair was black, his cheeks were slightly chubby, his eyes were narrow _ and finally Hyunwoo knew that the man had dimples as he saw it in person because before he could not see it clearly in that poor resolution.

_ He was the man with a navy blue jacket who Hyunwoo was looking for. _

“Cats are so cute for sure.” He chuckled as he picked the cats and played with them.

Kihyun drank the tea silently and then put it back on the table elegantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I know there are so many flaws in this fiction. I'm still in the learning stage. But I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for your support so far. Hope I can bring you a good story. See you~


	7. Interuption ; I'm here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I’m gonna say that every character here has a big role in the story.
> 
> Disclaimer : If there are similarities between places and events, they are purely a coincidence. Everything that happens in this fiction is the author's imagination so please read it wisely.

He was definitely that man; the key to this occurrence.

Hyunwoo stood frozen, making sure his eyes really saw the familiar man in front of him. The man was busy playing with his two cats. Hyunwoo was so sure. All of the traits that Hyunwoo had stained into his memory were exactly similar to this man. As if he had seen the man come out from his laptop screen and merge into the more colorful third dimension.

He had trouble swallowing. The corner of his eyes caught the presence of Kihyun who folded his arms across his chest. The singer was looking in a different direction, ignoring Hyunwoo who peeked at how Kihyun's fingers were scratching his own arm restlessly. Hyunwoo knew it so well that there was something wrong with the atmosphere, but he couldn't guess what kind of situation he was in.

“Is there something wrong?” Jooheon interrupted his thought, staring at Hyunwoo while crouching down. He let one of his cats slip out of grasp. His voice sounded so friendly to the ear. Never thought something fishy would come from someone like him. But Hyunwoo still had to be vigilant and scrutinize all the situations.

“Nothing, sir.” Hyunwoo shook his head.

“Hahaha, surely you love cats, don't you? Just looking at them makes you dumbfounded,” Jooheon stood facing Hyunwoo, smiling briefly showing dimples on both his cheeks. “Ah—” His mouth dropped open; the expression on his face said that he remembered something, “Don't tell me you're the one on the news? So you are the bodyguard that Manager Park is talking about?” Jooheon turned his head to the manager who was sitting enjoying the snacks on the table—she was hungry. Manager Park nodded in response.

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh, Let me introduce myself, I'm Lee Jooheon.” He smiled once again, holding out his hand towards Hyunwoo. That facial expression didn't seem like a bad person, Hyunwoo hesitated.

He took Jooheon's hand and shook it vigorously. “Son Hyunwoo. According to information from her, you already know about the condition Mr. Yoo is currently experiencing. Is it true, sir Lee?”

“Ah, you call me Jooheon.” The man walked over to the sofa and sat across to Kihyun and his manager sat. Not to forget that he also invited Hyunwoo to sit down, but Hyunwoo refused and chose to standby beside Kihyun. “Right. According to her information, this should still be a secret matter but—”Jooheon turned his attention towards Kihyun so that the two artists stared at each other. Hyunwoo peeked at the situation. “—It was forced to be informed to me because of the ongoing duet project.” Jooheon looked back at Hyunwoo, his head nodded and he gave a relieving smile.

According to his observations, Jooheon was a quite responsive person. He gave a firm answer and looked Hyunwoo straight in the eye without any hesitation. Hyunwoo would take advantage of the situation to find information.

“In that case, is that you the one who—”

“Can we start the meeting?” Kihyun interrupting Hyunwoo's question. Before Hyunwoo could defend himself, Kihyun turned his sight to stare at him in silence. Those eyes seemed to tell Hyunwoo to stop asking questions.

Jooheon was silent. His facial expression stiffened. His eyes were staring to the floor, as if he was in deep thought. A few seconds had passed, and suddenly he smiled again. “Yes, of course. I've received a sample album and the results are good. I am satisfied. Have you checked it,  _ hyung _ ?” Jooheon's personal manager came from different directions, bringing some samples of Kihyun and Jooheon collaboration albums.

“Yes, I've checked on them. I love it, too. Thank you so much, Jooheon. You always compose good songs.” Kihyun smiled softly. His hand took the sample album that was placed on the table by Jooheon’s manager. He was busy looking at it, unpacking the contents, flipping through each photoshoot and lyrics page, and the CD’s design.

“Thank you so much,  _ hyung _ . I'm happy to hear that. I told you, you won't regret collaborating with me.”

“Pffft—” Hyerin tried to hold back her laugh, the food she was chewing spurted everywhere. “I'm sorry. I'm just remembering, Jooheon was always chasing Kihyun everywhere and asking for collaboration but Kihyun always refused him.”

Jooheon laughed. “Correct. Finally my goal is achieved.”

“Don't say it like that, it looks like I'm a really bad person.” Kihyun pouted. He took the glass on the table and drank the water. Hyunwoo smiled as he saw Kihyun feeling relaxed while chatting.

“But you are bad,  _ hyung  _ ! How can you reject me? Even I lost count how much you rejected me because it was too much.” His tone rose, sounding like a whimper.

“Hahahaha, that's right. I remember those! You asked Minhyuk for help to convince Kihyun. Isn't it?” The female manager continued to laugh. She looked like a gossipy  _ noona _ . Jooheon nodded. His lips pouted, looking cute like a cranky child. “But good, right? Because of that, you can get closer to Minhyuk.”

“No,  _ noona  _ ! Don't say that!” Jooheon panicked. His attention turned to Hyunwoo, as if Jooheon didn't want to let Hyunwoo—a person he just met— to know his little secret. Kihyun also held back laughter as he saw Jooheon panic.

“But it’s true, right?”

He combed his hair in frustration. His body leaned back against the sofa; found a comfortable position. “Yes. Please forget it.” His hands swinging in the air gave a gesture so that everyone who was there had to forget about the conversation. His mouth revealed his feelings unconsciously. “I love your voice,  _ hyung _ . Collaborating with you is my dream. When  _ hyung _ complimented the song that I composed for you, I was so happy. I think  _ hyung _ hates me because you always reject me. I thought that you wanted to collaborate with me just because I—”

The words stopped. The cheerful atmosphere turned to gloomy. Jooheon suddenly closed his mouth—his smile faded. Kihyun was still busy with the photoshoot page on the album; leafed through each page, and adored the content. Hyerin stared at Jooheon to Kihyun's face in surprise at the changing atmosphere. Hyunwoo made a prediction one step ahead.

If only Hyunwoo could say it, then Hyunwoo would say it. However, he resigned, and chose to listen.

“What's with this atmosphere?” Hyerin laughed awkwardly.

“Nothing,” Jooheon shook his head, “I'm just remembering something.” The corner of his eyes peeked to Kihyun. “In two weeks, we will be performing live on TV stations. Please cooperate.”

Kihyun closed the sample album he was holding; stared at it for a moment, stroking the cover. His attention turned back to Jooheon. “Me too, please cooperate.” The talks were closed in its strangest way.

The meeting process went smoothly. There were so many things discussed in the meeting. Park Hyerin recorded all of the discussions of the meeting to her little notebook. Such as: schedule for live performances, interviews, photoshoots, radio broadcasting, costumes and stage themes. Hyunwoo didn't really understand all of that, but he knew that Kihyun was so professional at work. He always puts fans' needs first and Jooheon seemed so happy to work together with Kihyun.

As long as they were in Jooheon's residence, Hyunwoo couldn't interrogate Jooheon at all because whenever Hyunwoo wanted to ask, Kihyun always interrupted into conversation. Hyunwoo wasn't pushy; he understood that Kihyun wanted him to be quiet on that day. However, Hyunwoo believed and was increasingly convinced that Lee Jooheon was an important key in this case. He didn’t know what Kihyun wanted, but it seems like he was trying so hard to prevent Hyunwoo investigating Jooheon. If only Hyunwoo's perception of Jooheon was wrong, he still believed that Jooheon has an important role that cannot be explained at this moment. If Jooheon was the culprit, it would almost seem impossible especially seeing how Jooheon interacted with Kihyun. Even though there were moments of silence between them sometimes, Jooheon always had a worried face over his  _ hyung _ .”

“Thank you for having us today.” Hyerin said while shaking Jooheon's manager's hand. For a while, the managers were still coordinating for several important things. The meeting process was also able to run smoothly with the help of Jooheon; Jooheon actually directed his security personnel to monitor the surrounding environment. Until the meeting was over, not a single media or fansite came to Jooheon's residence.

“Um,  _ hyung _ .” Jooheon called when Hyunwoo escorted Kihyun into the car. The footsteps stopped. They face each other. “I heard about,” His gaze to Kihyun’s face turned to Hyunwoo, “You're going to hold a press conference?”

Kihyun nodded, his expression was just plain.

“Are you sure?” The moment felt so long, as Jooheon frowned deeply, staring at Kihyun from a distance. Kihyun clenched his hands, Jooheon waited for an answer, Hyunwoo paid attention.

“I am sure.”

Their meeting began and ended in silence. Like a setting sun, Jooheon's bright smile dimmed as he heard that. Hyunwoo kept on ringing with Jooheon's last words to him before Hyunwoo got into the car: “Whatever the condition, please trust him, and take care of him.”

The long journey to Kihyun's residence was the same as the long trail of Hyunwoo's thoughts which finally came to a dead end. Luckily Hyunwoo could drive the car well even though he thinks all the way. While on the way, Hoseok called Kihyun and said that he was on his way to Kihyun's house. They met at Kihyun's house.

“The agency has already spread the word to the media today that you will be holding a press conference.” Hoseok said as sighing repeatedly. “The media and fans gather in front of the office. Today was so troublesome. I am tired.” He leaned his burly body on the sofa and stretched his muscles.

Kihyun smiled, “So, when will it be held?”

Hoseok growled. His body straightened up again, sat on his backs on his arms. “Listen, Kihyun. Please don't do something stupid. We need time to solve this problem. I don't think the agency would have agreed to the request if the fans didn't sue it.”

“I won't do anything reckless. It concerns my safety, right? Why don't you trust me?” His tone rose one level higher. His emotions slowly broke out. Hyunwoo noticed every kind of tone Kihyun spoke. Sometimes Kihyun seemed like he had unstable emotions. Hyunwoo suspected this was due to the sleep disturbance he was experiencing. Even though Kihyun never said it, Hyunwoo could see firsthand how sluggish Kihyun's face was, sometimes he looked sleepy in the middle of conversation and of course the so noticeable black eye bags.

“It's okay, Mr Yoo. It's okay.” Hyunwoo said those words so softly. Words that indicate that he trusted him and Kihyun could do whatever he wants. Because Hyunwoo would be there, watching him and taking care of him.

Instantly Kihyun's emotions died down. He sat hugging his feet on the sofa.

“We have to make a scenario,” Hoseok continued. He wanted this problem to not have a bad influence on both Kihyun and the public, because the stakes were a life and the threat that would follow could not be ascertained. “Some media have spread rumors about Hyunwoo. They find out Hyunwoo's identity and get the fact that Hyunwoo has military records.”

Hyunwoo had been expecting it since that night when they were surrounded by the media. He sighed, trying to think of a solution. If the media knew about Hyunwoo's identity, then the incident of 5 years ago would be brought back to the public. That was Hyunwoo's biggest fear and he hoped that the public would not be interested in that case.

Such a risk; to have the public's attention. Kihyun finally realized the meaning of Hyunwoo's previous words where the public would turn out to be a great distraction and their thirst for information would make the investigation process complicated. If Hyunwoo's background was known by the public, the public would automatically think that Kihyun was under the protection of a specialist. If the public could find Hyunwoo's identity, then that means they can find out who the person who sent the letter was—Kihyun immediately doubted his decision.

_ No, _ Kihyun had made a decision, and Kihyun would do anything about it; whatever the risk it faces.

“What do you think, Hyunwoo? What should we do in your perspective?” Hoseok's question faded into his concentration, his eyes waiting for an answer—because he knew that his childhood friend was wandering around somewhere in his mind.

Hyunwoo clenched his jaw, gulped. “There is no other choice, we are forced to say that I am Mr Yoo's bodyguard. We cannot deceive the public any further. If we make false statements to the public, they will find out more.” The corner of his eyes glanced to Kihyun.

“It should be like that.” Kihyun answered in a barely audible voice. He hugged his own legs tightly. Hoseok gave up.  _ What Kihyun wants, Kihyun gets. _

“But we can't provide information regarding the letter, Hyunwoo.”

Hyunwoo nodded. “I still need more information.” In fact he already felt a dead end, especially because of Jooheon's failed interrogation process today. Even though Hyunwoo had found a valuable clue, Kihyun tried to cover it up. “I think we can clear up public misunderstandings by twisting the facts.”

“What does it mean?”

Hyunwoo sat next to Kihyun. He spoke while looking at the singer. “Because of the throwing incident a few days ago and Mr Yoo has decided to release them, we can make them as an excuse that Mr Yoo hired a temporary bodyguard because of the alleged sasaeng.” Kihyun widened his eyes, and didn't think Hyunwoo would use those two perpetrators as shields.  _ I never thought about it and it will be a good benefit to me _ ; so he thought. Hyunwoo gave him a pretty effective solution. “My existence is only temporary and preventive. Plus, Mr Yoo has released the two of them so that we can raise the public's positive reputation for him.”

“I agree. Please do it like that,” The singer's eyes lit up. He stared into Hyunwoo’s eyes so deeply and hopefully as if it made Hyunwoo's heart melting— _ ah, what was he thinking? _

Hyunwoo answered him with a short “oh” which was a little bit haltingly.

Hoseok nodded, not forgetting to think about some possible conditions that had to be prepared, especially when reporters would ask questions during the conference. “Then, what if the public finds out and interviews these two people? Aren't we going to be in trouble?”

“No,” Hyunwoo shook his head firmly. “It won't happen. Even if the media is trying to reach the contact of these two men, I’m sure they won’t talk because their position is the most disadvantaged. They are considered to be perpetrators or we could say as ‘sasaeng’ for that matter, which they won’t reveal their true intention of committing the indecent act. Unless they are fools who are desperate and want to go to jail.” Kihyun nodded enthusiastically. After several weeks of feeling unbearable emotions because everyone was against his opinion, Kihyun finally found the best solution from Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo managed to find the right solution. In this way, it was highly that Hyunwoo's partially exposed background wouldn’t bring a disaster. He didn't want to add problems to Kihyun's life—because those were his problems that he had to solve by himself, without involving other people into them.

Not only Kihyun, but Hoseok and manager Park agreed with Hyunwoo's proposal. After a long discussion about the press conference scenario, they finally were sure to make preparations.

**~~oOo~~**

It was eleven o'clock at night and Kihyun's eyes were still perfectly rounded. Again, he didn’t know how long he had been lying down, but he still couldn't sleep. How long will it take Kihyun to feel this pain?

He took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. He did this several times but he was still feeling uneasy; he was afraid. What would happen—for so many times—if he closed his eyes and fell asleep? What should he do in order to fall asleep without interruption? Would the nightmare come again— _ no, _ it would definitely come again. Whenever Kihyun hopes that today is better than yesterday, fate just plays with his feelings.

Kihyun reached the peak of frustration.

He got up from his bed, walked towards the door. His footsteps wobbled and continued to walk aimlessly. In fact, he almost fell because his eyes were blurry against will to sleep. But it turned out that he unconsciously stopped right in front of Hyunwoo's room.  _ ‘What exactly am I doing here?’ _ He said to himself. As his heartbeat weakened, Kihyun finally knocked on the door.

The soft voice greeted him from inside the room. Kihyun felt ahope. He opened the door impatiently but a little reluctantly. He peeked to the room from behind the open door—found Hyunwoo who was sitting on the sofa again staring at him with a smile.

“Can not sleep again?” Hyunwoo left his job on the laptop and gave his attention to Kihyun. Kihyun nodded weakly and muttered ‘hm’. Kihyun was still standing in the doorway; thinking twice about whether it was really allowed to do this— _ disturbing and taking another advantage of this person, again and again, and so on. _

“Please come in, sir.” Hyunwoo knew that Kihyun is restless every night. He didn't mind if he had to stay with him for a little longer. Kihyun walked in, closed the door slowly and he played with the hem of his own pajamas. “Do you want to sleep here again?” Hyunwoo asked casually.

“N-No.” Kihyun shook his head hard. Finally, Kihyun realized that he really felt so awkward around Hyunwoo—maybe because Kihyun realized that he didn't have a pure good intention. Maybe Kihyun realized he felt guilty towards Hyunwoo. He caught the eyes of Hyunwoo who continued to look at him without suspicion and full of trust.

“It's okay, sir. I'll sleep on the sofa. You can use the bed again. After all, this is your house, right?” Hyunwoo chuckled and realized that he was being ridiculous to say something obvious like that.

“Is it okay?” Hyunwoo nodded.

Kihyun stepped onto the bed, brought himself lying on a soft bed that started to feel familiar. There was a hint of masculine scent that remained, who knows when that scent set itself on the bed. But, the scent made him feel relaxed and comfortable. His eyes peeked at Hyunwoo from under the blanket—it seemed that his bodyguard was busy analyzing cctv footage again; he even put on a headset so Kihyun wouldn't be disturbed.

Ten minutes had passed, but Kihyun didn't fall asleep; somehow that curiosity asked for more attention than drowsiness. The singer was surprised to see Hyunwoo standing up from the sofa and looking for something in his bag. Soon he opened his button shirt slowly and his back was facing the bed where Kihyun laid. His eyes widened at the sight of the scars on his wide waist and back; long and lasting sewing scars that couldn’t easily go away. Kihyun was bothered.

“What's with that scar?” Hyunwoo was so surprised to hear the singer’s voice. He thought Kihyun was asleep, but he wasn't. He wore a change of shirt in a hurry; wanted to cover up the historic scar immediately which reminded Hyunwoo that his life would continue to be filled with regrets.

“It's nothing, sir.” Hyunwoo stammered, his body directly facing Kihyun—trying to divert Kihyun’s attention from the scar under his shirt. “I thought you were asleep.”

“No, I'm about to sleep.”

“I'm sorry to disturb you.”

Silence fell in the room. The both of them didn't know how to break the silence.  _ Why is it like this? _ Kihyun regretted asking.

Hyunwoo sat back down. “I'm sorry if I make you feel awkward around me, sir. I'm not good with words.” Such a lie. While expressing his opinion regarding his specialty, Hyunwoo was good at talking. Only when he was alone with Kihyun, he went awry.

“No, that's not true.” Kihyun chuckled softly.

But it was Hyunwoo, sometimes he was too stupid to see a situation like this and didn’t know what to say—”Why are you trying to interupt my interrogation with Lee Jooheon?”

Kihyun smiled sadly, he had expected that the question would be asked. “I just don't want him to get involved, that's all.” They stared at each other silently. Even though Hyunwoo had realized the lie within the words, however he—

“All right,” He had given up, “I believe you.” Trying to believe it because Kihyun had promised to tell the truth if something happened.

Kihyun laid back on the bed, hugged the thick blanket tightly. He inhaled the scent of masculine lingering in the fibers as best he could. Slowly his eyes closed, feeling protection.

The night time seemed so long. Hyunwoo watched the sleeping face intently from a distance. His mind was fixated on the questions in his brain— _ why, why, and who _ — which kept turning around and found a dead end. He looked back at the laptop, he was already starting an investigation into the second and third letters—the letters that homeless people found in front of the agency building.

As explained by Park Hyerin, in fact the cctv recording information in front of the agency building wasn’t useful in answering Hyunwoo's question because the distance between cctv and the homeless crowd was quite far and had blind spots—covered by several tree trunks that grew around the building entrance.—So that he could not clearly see the surroundings.

Hyunwoo let out a deep breath. He massaged his forehead brutally because his head felt so dizzy; Honestly, Hyunwoo didn't really fall asleep since first time arriving at Kihyun's house because he felt like he had to be constantly aware of his surroundings—and of course because Hyunwoo didn't want the singer to be in a dangerous state—and especially the singer's mental state. Hyunwoo couldn't imagine what kind feeling Kihyun had felt all this time. He wouldn't compare himself with Kihyun because he didn't fall asleep for just a few days whereas Kihyun probably—he had guessed—had been months.

His heart ached for sure.

“N-No…” The mound in the bed was writhing roughly. Hyunwoo built an imaginary defensive wall.

“Sir?” Hyunwoo walked over to the bed. That sleeping face was sweaty and pale. He shook his head so hard in his sleep.

“Please, please no!” Kihyun woke up and screamed loudly. Hyunwoo reached for the body as fast as possible.

That moment was so difficult to witness; emotionally painful. Kihyun's body shook. He curled up to make protection to his own body. The tears won't stop flowing. A traumatic shrill scream. Hyunwoo grabbed both his arms, shaking his body so that his consciousness could rise.

“Sir? What's wrong?”

“No! NO!” Kihyun kept shaking his head and he tried to get out of Hyunwoo's confinement. “Let me go! He's calling me!!”

“Sir, what are you talking about?” Hyunwoo didn't have to try so hard to hold back Kihyun’s writhing body because he was so weak. But, the sound of screaming and crying was so crazy; squealed throughout the room and brought terror.

“No, let me go! Please let me go.” Kihyun sobbing, his whole body couldn’t stop trembling. “Please I beg you, don't hurt him.”

At that moment, Hyunwoo's heart was about to break. Kihyun's cries brought nightmares to the real world. Hyunwoo grabbed the singer’s face, cupped it with his both hands to face him so that Hyunwoo could look further into those terrified eyes.

“Kihyun.”

_ “Kihyun!” _

“Look at me!” His breath choked, “It's me, Hyunwoo. It's okay. Everything is okay. I'm here.”

Those teary eyes finally found their harbor. The cry broke; sobbed louder and sounded so painful. Tearing away the delusion, bringing it to the present.

“H—Hyunwoo.”

“It's okay. I'm here,  _ Kihyun. _ ” Hyunwoo embraced that tiny body and hid it from the cruelty of the world. The world would continue to be evil until you couldn’t feel it anymore. Kihyun tightly hugged that warm body; squeezed the flesh as if jabbing his fingers through the fibers of the cloth. Holding it too tight, too afraid to fall.

“I think I can't do this anymore. I'll go crazy,” His voice choked, deep and breathless. But it was stuttering yet melodic. “They want to kill my little brother. He's calling my name, he needs me.”

Hyunwoo felt his world revolve around the mystery of a Yoo Kihyun. He was waiting for an answer that never came. He hugged the thin body tighter, eased the shock, wiped the tears along his cheeks and combed his hair until the crying stopped and he fell asleep into the beautiful dreamland.

Hyunwoo couldn't wait anymore. His crying face was beautifully painful to witness.

“Please go to sleep. Don't worry. I'll always be by your side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I’m not in a good mood. I’ve cramp. Damn period. I’m emotionally unstable like Kihyun today but I managed to write this chapter well.
> 
> I think I'm getting better writing in english.
> 
> I could say, I’m falling in love with Hyunwoo here (?) Even Though maybe some of you think this story is boring, I, myself could say that I love this plot so much personally. I’m gonna make it painfully beautiful for you, my readers. Thanks for your support.


	8. Curious; The Press Conference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Hello it’s me. I’m about to cry really, because this work finally came to this chapter. OMG, I’m happy~
> 
> Disclaimer : If there are similarities between places and events, they are purely a coincidence. Everything that happens in this fiction is the author's imagination so please read it wisely.

It had been two weeks since that night happened.

Hyunwoo was so sure that Kihyun tried to avoid him whenever they were alone; as if Hyunwoo was invisible. They talked to each other only when someone was among them, whether it's Hoseok or Hyerin or even sometimes Minhyuk comes to visit them. When they were just the two of them enjoying dinner together at the dining table, or when Hyunwoo wanted to ask something, surely Kihyun suddenly got up from his seat and moved to eat his food while watching television. Hyunwoo was also so sure that Kihyun's eyes only stared at the television, while his mind wandered to other places.

It had been more awkward than before since that night. That night, the singer finally fell asleep after being tired of crying. Hyunwoo continued to hug him while stroking his hair until the facial expression in his sleep seemed peaceful. Hyunwoo also fell asleep unconsciously in a position to hug Kihyun's body, while his hands were wrapped around his waist. Kihyun woke up in a state of shock, broke away roughly from Hyunwoo's embrace and ran out of the room as fast as lightning.

Since then, Hyunwoo hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to him, even questioning Kihyun's sleep talk.  _ ‘They want to kill my little brother’ _ —Hyunwoo heard the words clearly as Kihyun chirped in panic. He never thought that there would be such surprising information in this case. As far as Hyunwoo could remember, Kihyun said that he only had Park Hyerin now—which did not indicate the existence of a younger brother in Yoo Kihyun's life.

Hyunwoo's investigative trip with cctv footage also did not produce results. No matter how hard he tried to find clues, the fact was he could only find a dead end apart from Lee Jooheon’s existence—which until now was still a big question for Hyunwoo. The fourth letter found on the radio studio by Park Hyerin also raised a big question about Lee Jooheon's role in this case. After Hyunwoo researched the radio waiting room cctv : not long after Jooheon came and greeted Hyerin—while Kihyun was already in the broadcasting room—the fourth letter was there like magic.

“Huh, this is so frustrating.” Hyunwoo leaned down on the sofa for the umpteenth time that day. His eyes widened to watching the room’s ceiling. He wanted to find a way around this case for Kihyun's sake as soon as possible—ah, yes, Kihyun. That night the singer looked so sad, making Hyunwoo's heart feel pain. If only Hyunwoo could be a better person at talking, maybe the atmosphere wouldn't be that awkward when he was alone with Kihyun.

However, no matter how hard the singer tried to avoid his bodyguard, things changed in the instant after the knocking on the door came at night. When that moment came, Hyunwoo would turn his head and smile to the doorway. There was Kihyun, standing stared at the floor as if the floor was an interesting spectacle. His bangs hung over his face. His cheeks flushed red under the light. His face would continue to look down if Hyunwoo didn't ask him to come into the room. Then, silence fell within the room and Kihyun fell asleep.

Hyunwoo did very well as a guard—even though he didn't know if he was a good guard. He would ignore his other jobs, chose to take a chair and then sat next to the bed. He would stare at the sleeping beautiful face throughout the night. He would erase the worries in the sleeping beauty’s dream. His big hand stroked the hair and made the wrinkles between the brows disappear when the nightmare came. His hands would hold that tiny hand every time he felt a fall. _Every day, every night, all the time._

**~~oOo~~**

  
  


Hoseok's reverie broke as a knock on the door interrupted. The man with pink hair and tall stature came into the room. His face was handsome like a model, even though at that moment his expression was so sour like he had just eaten a lime.

“Here it is, Pro-du-cer Hoseok.” Hyungwon put a file on Hoseok's desk. He was rolling his eyes to the left to right as he placed the folder. After that, he headed for the exit.

“Hyungwon!” Hoseok called out to him with a slightly harsh tone but the pink haired man ignored him until finally Hoseok had to increase his volume. “Are you still mad at me? I've told you—”

“No. Of course not. Why am I angry?” Hyungwon turned around and faced Hoseok who was already standing in front of his desk; his hand went into his pant’s pocket. He walked to the nearest chair and sat down; place one thigh on top of the other. And then his hands were folded across his chest. “So, why call me?”

Hoseok sighed; he sat back. “I've told you, right? It wasn't like I didn't want to collaborate with you, but the CEO told me to prioritize collaboration with other singers first. Because you still have so many magazine projects.” Hyungwon didn't answer; it was obvious he was still mad about it. Hoseok sighed even more heavily.

Hyungwon stood up and then he walked towards the producer’s desk. His hand touched down the edge of the table and stared at every detail. “I don't care about that—” He stopped as he saw a photo frame displayed on the table—a photo of three men. He watched it closely, especially the face of the tiniest man among the three figures. “Hm, Changkyun, wasn't it?”

The two of them stared at each other. “Hm, yes.”

“I keep wondering what it feels like to be the younger brother of Lee Hoseok.” His body was leaning towards the photo frame, paying clear attention to the facial expressions of the three figures in the photo. His eyes narrowed.

“Hyungwon,” Hoseok glared at the blue bead. “Please don't do something like that.” Hyungwoo straightened up again as the atmosphere tensed. At that moment, suddenly the room’s door opened and two men appeared; staring in surprise at the strange atmosphere between Hoseok and Hyungwon.

“What's happening?” His eyebrows rose as he felt the coldness of the air in the room—either because the air conditioning temperature was too low or because of the cold atmosphere among the people inside. Kihyun and Hyunwoo stood still in the doorway because of it.

“Nothing,” Hyungwon shook his head. He walked towards the exit as fast as possible but Hyunwoo blocked him.

“Mr Chae, um, I mean Hyungwon. Can we talk a bit outside?” Hyungwon nodded. Hyunwoo immediately asked permission to talk for a while with Hyungwon and asked the singer to wait in Hoseok's room. Kihyun couldn't take his eyes off Hyunwoo as his bodyguard left him alone in Hoseok's room—he seemed to forget that Hoseok was there.

“Don't worry. He will be back soon, Kihyun.” Hoseok chuckled softly. Kihyun was surprised and then pretended to see a nearby painting extension. “Just sit down please.”

Kihyun pouted as soon as his butts sat on the chair. His hands were folded across his chest, his legs shaking impatiently. His eyes kept glancing at the watch on his wrist. He didn't know why he felt so restless.

“Hyung,” Kihyun's voice called out. If Hoseok didn’t pay attention to him, he probably wouldn't have realized that the singer was calling his name. Hoseok grinned as he took the file from Hyungwon and read it carefully; he answered with a firm ‘hm’ to Kihyun. “Does… does Hyunwoo have someone?”

Hoseok grinned even wider. “Is that the first thing you ask me? You don't want to ask about preparations for today's press conference?” Kihyun was silent but Hoseok could see his face was sullen. He wanted to laugh but he held back as much as possible, because the press conference that day would be troublesome if Kihyun was sulking. “Why asking?” Hoseok put the pen back into place after signing the file. After that, he gave Kihyun his full attention.

Kihyun gave him a reluctant glance, but tried to avoid Hoseok's gaze. “Nothing. Just a little bit curious because he's always staring at photos at certain moments. I thought maybe it was his friend, brother or roommate.  _ Maybe. _ Please don't get me wrong.”—even though Kihyun knew that Hyunwoo lived alone; Hyunwoo had already told him the first time they talked closer. And Kihyun also didn't want to mention other possibilities such as “his lover or his life partner”.

Hoseok smiled faintly. That smile seemed too much for a Hoseok. His eyes shifted to the photo frame on the table; he stared at the photo for a moment and exhaled slowly. “Yes, he has someone who is important in his life. Someone who is so important to the extent that he would sacrifice his life.”

Hoseok could see how Kihyun's face was turning sour.

“What’s wrong?” Hyunwoo walked in with a confused face. He tried to look at the singer but the singer turned his face in another direction. Hoseok almost choked.

“Nothing!” Kihyun woke up and was about to leave the room, but Hyunwoo held his arm.

“Where are you going, Mr Yoo?” Kihyun's face scrunched as he heard that. He shook his arm roughly to let Hyunwoo's grip loose. Kihyun left the room even though Hyunwoo kept calling “Mr. Yoo”' repeatedly. If only he didn't have anything important to do with Hoseok, maybe Hyunwoo would have caught up with the singer. “What's wrong with him? I think his emotional instability has gotten better since he can sleep now.” Hyunwoo faced Hoseok and found the producer laughing out loud.

“Hahaha, this is so funny.” Hyunwoo felt like he wanted to log out of the room because he didn't understand the direction of Hoseok's conversation. “So, what do you need, Hyunwoo? The press conference will start in an hour, right?”

“I need to discuss something with you first.” Hoseok took a deep breath and exhaled. He also had time to drink a glass of water to relieve stomach pain from laughter. “I need your help to find someone.”

Hoseok's eyebrows rose. “Who is exactly this someone?”

They stare at each other. The level of tension rose, making the air tight. “Homeless people who found the second and third letters.”

“Oh, do you want to talk with them?” Hyunwoo nodded. He rested for a moment on the chair. “Well, it will be difficult because ever since the letter was found and the throwing incident happened, the building security has been cleaning the area.”

“Is it impossible?” Hyunwoo looked at him expectantly. He had reached a complete stalemate. The only way at this point was to interrogate people who find and appear to be in direct contact with the letter. And at the same time, Hyunwoo was also looking for the right opportunity to talk with Jooheon.

Hoseok thought for a moment. His finger tapped on the table. “The security who kicked them out are still working here so it looks like we can ask him for help. I'll try it, Hyunwoo.”

Hyunwoo nodded and muttered thanks. “The letter sender is so clever. They left no trace at all. But I'm a little surprised by one thing.”

“What is it?”

Hoseok watched closely. During the independent investigation process, Hyunwoo always updated the conditions that happened to Hoseok. Apart from the two of them being friends, Hyunwoo sometimes needed Hoseok's information network as someone who had enough positions inside the agency and outside the agency.

“It's been almost more than 3 weeks I've been with Mr Yoo, but there have been no threatening letters since then. Whereas the first letter, second letter, etc. were sent within a week or 2 weeks from the previous letter.”

“Well, that's weird.” Hoseok tilted his head. He stroked his forehead with concentration. “What if the sender already knows about you, Hyunwoo? Even the media has got information about you.”

“Yes, it is possible. I need to find other clues as soon as possible. We can't wait any longer, Mr Yoo's condition is getting worse. I won't let anything bad happen again, I won't.” Hyunwoo shook his head. His eyes were sharp as if he had become a hunter. Hoseok smiled so sadly. Before the bodyguard left, Hoseok could only say the same thing over and over again without being bored without stopping.

“I've told you so many times. What happened to Changkyun wasn't your fault.”—even though Hoseok said it until it was foamy, Hyunwoo could never accept it.

**~~oOo~~**

After ten minutes of searching for the singer’s whereabouts, Hyunwoo finally found him sitting in the corner of the room with a sour face. His hands were busy playing with the paper and tearing it into pieces; sometimes he threw the strands of paper in the trash in a pissed off way.

He was well dressed and his hair styled up to expose his forehead. Hyunwoo smiled; Kihyun looked so different than usual. The black eye bags began to look faded. The stylists no longer complain about the singer's physical appearance, because his physical condition had been improved even though Hyunwoo knew that he was still bad mentally.

“Mr Yoo!” Hyunwoo ran and stopped right in front of Kihyun. The singer just stared at him flatly.

“You don't even call my given name anymore.”—he muttered softly, not quite audibly.

“What is it?” Hyunwoo was still trying to adjust the rhythm of his breath after running. He didn't really hear it.

“Nothing.” He shook his head, Hyunwoo was confused. Seeing the singer just silently playing the torn paper, Hyunwoo finally reached out to him. The press conference will start in a moment.

“Let's go, Mr Yoo. We can do this.” The bodyguard smiled awkwardly. Kihyun just stared at the hand that was stretched out to him. His eyes alternated at that smile to that big hand. He took the hand.

When the two hands touched each other, Kihyun turned into a stronger person. His world became more colorful. He took a deep breath and exhaled calmly. In fact, he could smile sincerely again without any fear covering it. Kihyun could see his footsteps on the floor without having to be afraid of falling into the same pit of misery. Because he knew that when his foot slipped and his body was about to fall into the abyss, someone would help him and bring him out of the darkness.

The sound of camera shots, the beam of lights and the sound of joking in the press conference room evoking emotions. Kihyun had gotten to that position and he had decided he will go even further—setting the direction of his life. He swallowed the fear and looked at Hyunwoo who was standing beside him, smiling.

“Good night, everyone. It's been a long time since I've held a conference.” He smiled, a little bit chuckled to break the ice. The corner of his eyes could see the manager, Hoseok, Hyungwon and even Minhyuk standing in the hallway. “I apologize for worrying the fans. Due to a collaborative project with one of the rappers, I was forced to postpone this conference for quite a long time.”

“First, please let me introduce someone, Mr Son Hyunwoo who is standing next to me.” Kihyun looked at him, Hyunwoo nodded. “There is a lot of speculation out there about him. Looks like he's become even more famous than me. Well, because yes, you can see how good he is for yourself.” Kihyun laughed; the media laughed too. The bodyguard chuckled.

“It's like a wedding announcement conference.”—Minhyuk whispered to Hyungwon. Hyungwon elbowed his waist and said  _ “shhh” _ .

“As reported in several media, yes, he is currently my bodyguard.” The atmosphere tensed. The reporters whispering to each other; thinking of a lot of questions. “Why do I need him, you said? Due to the issue of sasaeng and as all of you have witnessed earlier a few weeks ago there was a shocking incident—”

“—Mr. Son Hyunwoo's existence is only temporary and is a form of preventive procedure, not permanent. Since the issue regarding the two perpetrators has also been resolved amicably, I hope that with this conference, the fans and the media will get sufficient information and not worry about me. That's all. Thank you.” Kihyun ended his sentence with a big smile, making some fans there felt relieved.

Conference moderators take over. He thanked the guests and also Kihyun’s speech. Furthermore, he invited the media to ask questions and was limited to 3 people; it prevents unwanted inquiries. The agency had also filtered questions that could be submitted before reporters arrived.

One of the gossip media reporters asked with a happy face, “Are you guys dating? Because you two look cute together. And there is footage of you hugging on the internet.” The high tension at the conference faded over the question. Kihyun couldn't hide his smile. Hoseok bursted into laughter in the distance and Kihyun tried to give him a death glare.

“No.” Kihyun's answer was short. Hyunwoo didn't know how to express himself.

“What is your consideration that you wanted to release the throwing perpetrators? Even though you already know of the threat of sasaeng, it is proven by the presence of Mr. Son Hyunwoo at the scene.” One of the questions that Hyunwoo had anticipated. Everything was according to the procedure and scenario.

Kihyun swallowed hard. He had already prepared the words that had to be spoken. Hyunwoo glanced nervously. “Well, I love my fans. I consider them as my big family. Although many people think that the two men are not sasaeng but haters, I don't want to make a big deal about it. Maybe I have done something that makes them hate me and I will tolerate it and try to be a better person in the future.” Somehow Kihyun said things beyond the script. But there was no problem with that, Hyunwoo let it happen. “I want to make them at least my friend in the future. So, yeah.”

Reporters, journalists and media seemed to be satisfied with the answer. They recorded many things in their books, some people had their recorders ready. In accordance with Hyunwoo's expectation, it is likely that Kihyun would get an additional positive reputation because of his answer.

Finally they came to the last question. Kihyun hoped that everything would go according to plan.

“This question is for Mr. Son Hyunwoo, according to the rumors that you have military records. What do you think, can you undergo protection to Mr. Yoo Kihyun whereas you have failed to do your job yourself before?”

Something was breaking into pieces. 

Sweat was pouring out due to the heat from the spotlight—he was  _ in the spotlight _ , he was  _ the spotlight _ , he was  _ in trouble _ , and he was  _ a mess _ . Hyunwoo went crazy with his own thoughts. Never thought that those questions would become a trigger for chaos within him. The question he was asked repeatedly to himself as he saw his own reflection in the mirror. The question he was asked repeatedly to himself as his fingertips touched the scar on his back. His hands were shaking, he had a hard time to swallow, he had difficulty breathing. Kihyun turned his head because he couldn't hear Hyunwoo's answer. Hyungwon and Minhyuk looked at each other nervously. Hoseok ran over to the moderator and took over the microphone.

“The question session is over. For Yoo Kihyun and Son Hyunwoo, please return to the waiting room. Thank you for coming, everyone.”

The media were noisy and demanding. Everyone who came was speculating. The press conference ended with Hoseok's closing words.

The room was silent. Kihyun looked at Hyunwoo who sat dumbfounded on the sofa. Several questions popped into his head but the singer didn't dare to reveal them—he knew it so well when you didn't want to talk about it even though people around you insisted on getting answers. That's why Kihyun kept silent at that moment.

After several blinks, Hyunwoo finally realized that there was a pair of legs standing in front of him. He looked up to see the face of the shoe owner. “Ah, Mr Yoo. It's time to go home, right?” His body got up and walked past Kihyun. For the first time, the singer restrained his bodyguard's footsteps.

“Are you okay?” Both of his eyes flashed in worry. Hyunwoo felt guilty. He nodded weakly.

The reality turned out to be that bitter. When they wanted to head for the car, the same situation happened. The media were still huddling around waiting for the singer and his bodyguard to appear. As they wanted to pass through the streets, the media crowded around and kept on asking the last unanswered question towards Hyunwoo and Kihyun. The two of them struggled to move even though Hoseok called several security guards to make a barrier.

As he walked slowly, Hyunwoo felt a bad feeling. The reporters and cameras continued to irradiate them, their bodies bumping into each other non-stop. Several times he realized Kihyun almost lost his balance because he was hit by those bodies. Hyunwoo's head was dizzy, he couldn't see clearly and couldn’t think clearly. The sound of the camera snapping, the voice of the reporters asking the same question, his own chaotic thoughts, all of them mixed together within his body. Hyunwoo's world was spinning around. He was about to lose himself.

He couldn't set priorities. He felt something sharp scratch his arm; it was hurt. Hyunwoo built his defense using all of his muscles, hugging Kihyun's body as fast as possible to make a shield. He felt another scratch. Kihyun was shocked as Hyunwoo hugged his body tightly until he couldn't breathe and his neck felt like it was going to break. The heart was beating so fast; Kihyun could hear it from under the broad chest. Masculine scent grew stronger. Adrenaline ruled the body. Hyunwoo pushed Kihyun’s body into the car as fast as possible until Kihyun almost fell over. The sharp scratches were all over the place until finally Hyunwoo got into the car.

The car went slowly leaving the crowd. Kihyun was gasping for breath. His body leaned against the car seat, trying to normalize the rhythm of his fast breathing. He turned his head slowly to check the condition of the person next to him. The broad chest rose and fell, and inhaled oxygen as much as possible. Despite being under the dim light of the car, Kihyun could clearly see the scratches on his cheeks. The singer screamed hysterically.

“Hyunwoo, you're bleeding!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : It’s updated! There is something cute, sweet, and romantic, maybe, in the next chapter. Actually I can’t guarantee that. Hahahhaa. But, please wait patiently for next chapter.


	9. Desires; Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Please enjoy this chapter, seriously. It’s longer than usual.
> 
> * note: some parts have been edited for some reasons.

Kihyun was beyond panicked.

He stepped too fast into the house holding Hyunwoo's hand. He pulled the bodyguard's hand so Hyunwoo could feel the singer's whole body was in tremor euphoria. He forgot everything. He didn't care if the crowd would find out that the mansion was occupied by a famous artist. Luckily, no one seemed to notice as Kihyun quickly got out of the car and dragged Hyunwoo with him.

Hyunwoo was quite calm, even though his mind was wandering around.

Kihyun kept asking the driver to go to the hospital. Over and over again until Hyunwoo had to repeatedly say that his condition was fine and Kihyun didn't need to panic. Even though there was chaos within Hyunwoo after the last question at the press conference, Hyunwoo was still able to control Kihyun's panic and said that they wouldn’t go to the hospital because it would only cause the public's attention to increasingly turning back to them. There would also be so many people who suspect that the singer was going through something beyond the public’s imagination and that the reversal of the facts carried out at the press conference would be exposed.

Kihyun kept pulling Hyunwoo's hand, forgetting the unlocked door and going through all the rooms without turning on the lights. He took Hyunwoo to his bedroom and Hyunwoo just stood still there.

“Wait here.” His voice was hoarse. Kihyun pushed Hyunwoo's body to sit on the bed. Hyunwoo was silent and obeyed his request.

At that time, Kihyun had a hard time thinking. He didn't know what he really wanted to do by bringing Hyunwoo into his bedroom. But when his body turned to face Hyunwoo, he found scratches on the bodyguard's face and blood dripping out of the wound. Kihyun ran here and there, looking for something in every cabinet, drawer, cupboard, and all of the things he had and messing up everything in it. Hyunwoo noticed; he might be panicked to the point that he couldn't remember anything.

Kihyun finally remembered. He went to his private bathroom and opened the first aid kit next to the sink. He took the box and put it next to Hyunwoo.

“Where are the wounds?” Kihyun looked for every part of Hyunwoo's body that was scratched by a sharp object. He helped to remove Hyunwoo's suit. A few torn parts of the shirt were stained with blood. His face became more panicked as he found the right arm, left forearm, right cheek, and waist were injured but there was a part of the torn shirt that not injured. It seemed that it was sharp enough to penetrate Hyunwoo's suit—if only Hyunwoo didn't wear a suit, the wound might have gotten deeper. “Take off your shirt,” Kihyun ordered as he went to find a small container and filled it with clean water.

Kihyun took out several sheets of gauze from the first aid kit, put them on the wound, pressed gently until the blood stopped coming out. Hyunwoo hissed because the wound was stinging as Kihyun pressed it. Luckily the wounds weren't so deep that the blood could quickly stop. Next, he cleaned up the skin around the wounds gently with baby soap and thoroughly cleaned them with a soft towel and clean water. He applied antibiotic ointment and covered the wound with gauze and bandaid. Kihyun took the same steps for another wound.

Hyunwoo just sat there in silence, watching the singer treat his wound. Hyunwoo noticed that the smaller hands were trembling in every touch. His body never stopped shaking. He was busy wiping his wet face with his own sleeve. Hyunwoo felt a strange, a long-buried feeling—the feeling when someone looks before you with a worried and panicked face. Hyunwoo was touched to see that worried face.

“Why are you crying?”

Kihyun's tears kept flow during that time. The sound of his crying was barely audible as he tried to endure it as best he could. Because treating those wounds should be his priority now. Kihyun couldn’t get ahead of his feelings, Kihyun needed to put his logic first. But, somehow it was so hard to handle this situation for him.

“I'm... I'm sorry.” His eyes filled with tears. The tears couldn't stop even though Kihyun tried. “I'm really sorry, Hyunwoo.” If only Kihyun could explain how he felt, one sentence would be enough: _I think I gonna broken now._ But not one word other than “sorry” came out of his mouth.

“No. I should be the one apologizing to you.” Hyunwoo looked at the trembling hands that were observant of caring for him. His attention was drawn to the teary eyes, red nose, and the frowned face holding back the tears. “My mind is chaotic and I can't concentrate. I put you in danger. So, it's not your fault.”

Hyunwoo's hand moved, cupped the wet cheeks, and wiped the trail of tears. He stroked every inch of the cheek gently. He looked at the sweaty face intently. He felt sad.

Hyunwoo kept asking himself the last question: _Can I protect him? But I always fail to do it._ That question and the case was met with a dead end. Hyunwoo couldn't finish it as soon as possible until finally he just became an extra burden for Kihyun. _Hyunwoo just wanted to protect him. He should be the strongest and invincible shield._ But the fear of loss was so great that it loomed over his life and dropped Hyunwoo into a dark abyss.

“No,” Kihyun shook his head. His voice was hoarse and choked. “It's my fault. You don’t understand, Hyunwoo. I was—”

Kihyun's voice stopped at the tip of his tongue as he saw Hyunwoo getting closer. Hyunwoo leaned his head on the trembling shoulders and hid his face from the cruelty of the world. That was the moment when Kihyun understood his bodyguard’s feeling. Even though he looked stiff, independent, and strong, something was actually breaking inside his big body. The cut wounds were no longer felt, they were meaningless. He was physically injured but actually, his heart was in pain. He was falling from the throne.

Kihyun could feel how the breath’s roar rushes on his shoulder. Hyunwoo's body was like a great wall that can't fall down but his heart was like glass that has fallen and scattered around. Kihyun regretted everything that had happened. _Kihyun has made a big mistake._

The singer tilted his head, feeling the tips of Hyunwoo's hair pricking his cheeks. His hand rubbed Hyunwoo’s head gently as if to say that everything is gonna be alright. That was not a time to beat yourself up. Kihyun had things he must do. During this time, Hyunwoo had always been the support in Kihyun's life; take care of him, drive away his fear, and make him feel calm. Therefore, Kihyun would also be a support in Hyunwoo's life and erase the worries and fears he has suffered.

The hand’s caress was getting smoother and gentler like an angel's. Hyunwoo was immersed in a delicious touch. Wanting that figure to be more and closer in his embrace. He grabbed the slender waist, carried it, and held it as close as possible; as tight as possible. He hid his expression and leaned the weight of his life behind those tiny shoulders. No crying, no sound. There was only an outlet for emotions that overwhelms him by hugging the body tightly and inhaling the scent to his heart's content as if Kihyun was about to leave before him. Hyunwoo felt his world revive as Kihyun hugged back his body tighter and hummed melodically to ease the turmoil within him. The wound in his heart lifted as Kihyun’s fingertips rubbed the stitch marks on his back.

Hyunwoo pushed the body until they finally lay on the bed. He kept holding the body until he couldn't breathe. His face hid behind the recesses of the neck to drown out the fear. Hyunwoo gave successive kisses on Kihyun’s neck slowly. His nose rubbed against each skin. His body was clinging tighter as if he needed it closer and closer and closer until it became one with him. He needed it more; he needed Kihyun more. Because he couldn't get enough.

Kihyun gasped as Hyunwoo kept giving so many wet kisses along his neck. Their bodies writhed in a hug, craving more closeness. Kihyun grabbed and squeezed Hyunwoo's hair spoiled. His face sank to his broad shoulders. Hyunwoo's warm breath blew along the neck. Kihyun sucked in and held his breath as the kiss rose to his jawline and reached the corners of his lips.

Their eyes locked in closeness. They lost in their deep gaze. Hunting breath filled the narrow space between their bodies. Hyunwoo's lips tasted the smooth skin of his cheeks, gave a wet trail all over the face, and anchored on Kihyun's thin lips.

Hyunwoo released all of his feelings and frustrations out in that wet kisses. Wiping his lips as much as possible, fondling them as deep as possible, licking them as the sweetness emerged, sucking them as if his life depends on the kisses. Made their bodies tremble with sensation and evokes emotions. His nasal bones sank into Kihyun's smooth cheeks, finding the deepest kiss full of emotion. Every touch of those fingers on his upper naked body made Hyunwoo lose the battle with greed. Hyunwoo's hand touched Kihyun’s whole body impatiently.

Kihyun was breathless. His whole body wanted more Hyunwoo's soft touch. He tried to kiss him back but it felt really difficult because Hyunwoo put deep and meaningful pressure on his lips. Hyunwoo dominated his body movements so that Kihyun couldn't do anything but obey him. His body jerked back as the kisses slid down his chin, returning to seek the harbor around his neck. Kihyun purred as Hyunwoo growled. Kihyun could feel each button of his shirt off one by one and Hyunwoo's kisses explored the skin of his chest. Hyunwoo sniffed every inch of his skin. Kihyun moaned and his fingertips kept scratching the broad shoulders.

Hyunwoo lost control and Kihyun was demanding. Yet reality stirred the logic and kicked emotions back into place. A cell phone rings somewhere, calling for attention and snatching away the tension of that desire. Hyunwoo's consciousness returned and he gasped. He looked in shock at the slender body beneath him. Kihyun stared at him with furrowed brows and roaring breathing uncontrollably. His lips were wet and red like his shoulders and chest.

The fear of loss was rampant, taking control of the body and Hyunwoo regretted it.

He got up and moved away as quickly as possible from Kihyun's body. Hyunwoo took his suit and shirt, walked out of the room without saying anything.

Kihyun laid helplessly on the bed. He felt something was missing. Tears were seeping from the corners of his eyes. But he couldn't be like this. He tried to find the phone's voice and found it in an abandoned bag.

“Kihyun, are you okay?” Minhyuk's voice from the phone sounded clear and made Kihyun wake up from a dream. “I heard you were hurt?” He came like a savior.

“Kihyun?” Minhyuk could only hear the sound of breathing that was still uncontrollable.

Kihyun needed to calm down from the turmoil that was happening.

“Minhyuk, can you accompany me until I'm sleepy?”

**~~oOo~~**

After going through the days sleeping peacefully, finally, Kihyun had another insomnia even though Minhyuk had accompanied him all night. Of course, Kihyun knew that his friend was tired so he ended their conversation and said that he was sleepy. They talked about normal things and Kihyun didn't talk about what was bothering him at that time even though it seemed like Minhyuk realized something was happening to Kihyun.

Kihyun heard the noise from many people in his house. It felt like he didn't want to leave the bedroom because he would meet Hyunwoo if he did. And Kihyun still didn't know what to behave in front of Hyunwoo after last night's phenomenon. But the sound of knocking on the door forced him to come out and Hyerin's voice kept calling out to him. Finally, Kihyun was forced to leave his room after he finished calming himself under the shower.

When he reached the dining room, Kihyun stood still. There were a lot of people scrambling over Hyerin's breakfast. There were Hyerin, Hoseok, Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and of course Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo immediately lowered his eyes as soon as his gaze met Kihyun. He didn't dare look the singer in the eye.

“Kihyun!” Minhyuk shouted, almost gushing the contents of his breakfast in his mouth. “What took you so long? We are waiting for you.” Hoseok turned his head followed by Hyungwon. Kihyun smiled awkwardly. It turned out that he had worried everyone. Kihyun walked towards the dining table and was forced to sit in front of Hyunwoo because that was the only empty chair. Hyunwoo still lowered his gaze.

Hoseok exclaimed, “I still can't believe what happened last night. I didn't expect the culprit to take advantage of the media chaos situation and hurt you. Hyunwoo's prediction about the culprit taking advantage of the blindspot from media attention really happened.” He leaned back roughly on the chair and sighed heavily. After hearing the story from Hyunwoo, Hoseok immediately rushed to Kihyun's residence and did not expect that Minhyuk and Hyungwon also came after hearing the news from Hyerin.

“I am curious. How do the culprit do it?” Hyungwon folded his hands on the table, staring at everyone sitting there.

Kihyun tensed and had difficulty swallowing. Hyunwoo glanced reluctantly.

Hyunwoo turned his head and looked at the sidelines of the chair with Hyungwon who was sitting next to him. “My guess is that the culprit did it under the guise of being one of the media crews, he carried a sharp object and took it out when we were crowded.” Kihyun's gaze turned to Hyunwoo's face, who didn't want to look at him. The cut on his cheek was clearly visible because the cut on his cheek was not too deep, Kihyun did not bandage it with gauze and bandaid.

“Most likely like that.” Minhyuk nodded. “We never expect it to happen in such crowded conditions. Our attention will also focus on noisy media.”

“But, there is another possibility,” Hyunwoo raised his face, looked at Minhyuk who was sitting next to Hoseok. His face looked even more serious, causing everyone in the room to choke up with a tense atmosphere. Hyunwoo wanted to say it but there were still things that were bothering him and Hyunwoo hoped that was not the case.

“What is it?” Hyerin looked at him expectantly.

“I can't say it in detail right now because I don't have solid evidence. But if the evidence is revealed, then we can find out who did it.” His eyes glanced at Kihyun for a moment and then looked away as fast as possible. Kihyun just sat quietly with a flat expression. Every now and then he drank his drink slowly.

“Really, Hyunwoo?” Hoseok leaned over the table, staring at Hyunwoo with rounded eyes waiting for an answer. Hoseok never got any information after the deadlock case on Lee Jooheon.

“Yes. I've realized something after last night's incident.”

Silence took over the room. The atmosphere became tense.

Seeing the tough situation, they finally tried to change the topic of conversation and enjoyed breakfast together. Throughout the talk, Kihyun was silent and didn't even talk to the others. Everyone in the room felt Kihyun's dark aura during breakfast. Minhyuk invited Kihyun to play games to cheer him on in the living room and other people also played. Meanwhile, Hyunwoo only watched him from a distance. Kihyun looked better after hanging out with his friends.

“Hyunwoo.” Hyungwon came over to him and spoke in a little whisper. “Have you asked him?”

“Not yet. I don't think he's ready to be asked about that.”

Hyungwon sighed heavily. He turned around and looked at the people who were busy competing in the living room. “I'm really sorry. I and Minhyuk couldn't help. Even though we know the story. I know you're desperate about this. We sincerely say thank you for helping him.”

“It's okay. I understand the situation.” Truly, Hyunwoo did his best. After finding a dead-end with Lee Jooheon, Hyunwoo tried to contact Minhyuk and Hyungwon as Kihyun's closest friends to ask about the singer's past that was bothering him. Especially related to Kihyun's sleep talking about the whereabouts of an unknown little brother. But when Hyunwoo tried to talk to Minhyuk, the silver-haired man refused to talk and Hyunwoo couldn't force him. Afterward, before the press conference, Hyunwoo tried to talk to Hyungwon and got the same answer. But Hyunwoo understood the reason behind Minhyuk and Hyungwon's rejection.

“We can tell it to help you, but the past wasn’t a good thing for Kihyun. It's not easy for us, too. We have no right to tell it to other people. To whom the story should be told is Kihyun's decision. So, as I said before, you better ask him directly.”

At that moment, Hyunwoo realized that their friendship bond was not that fragile and Hyunwoo was grateful that Kihyun had such a good friend.

The night was approaching so fast. The hordes of guests have returned home after satisfied to entertain the owner of the house. Kihyun looked better and laughed a lot. But after the two of them left the room, silence fell into the room and the two avoided each other.

Hyunwoo found the fact that he was so coward. He couldn't say anything about what happened between him and Kihyun. His guilt overcame and Hyunwoo wasn’t good at words. He questioned himself why was he acting like that? But he couldn't go on like this. He had to apologize to the singer. He had to meet him.

When Hyunwoo opened the door and almost went to Kihyun's bedroom, he saw Kihyun already standing at his door’s room and looking at him sadly. The two of them just stood silently in the doorway for a while, until finally Hyunwoo broke the atmosphere and asked Kihyun to come in. The two of them sat on a sofa apart.

“Mr. Yoo— / Hyunwoo—” The two of them called each other and turned their heads. The same thing happened again like the first time the two of them spoke together on the sofa. Kihyun smiled a little, so did Hyunwoo.

However, the atmosphere melted away in just a few seconds followed by an intense awkward tension. Hyunwoo straightened himself and took a deep breath. “About last night—” Kihyun looked down. His expression was sad again. He prepared for the worst. “—I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I wasn't supposed to do that. I'm—”

Kihyun found out. A sense of disappointment came since Hyunwoo left his body lying helpless in a state of needing affection. Coupled with the expression of shock Hyunwoo said that this should not have happened. Kihyun found out from Hoseok, that Hyunwoo has someone in his life—someone who might mean a lot in his life—and maybe he regretted what he did last night to Kihyun. Kihyun came to the room with the determination that he was ready to accept the harsh reality.

“—I couldn't think clearly after the press conference. Maybe I took all my frustration out on you. I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to add your problem.”

Kihyun bit his lips restlessly, holding back the fear of rejection. His fingers were busy tussling with himself. “So, you don't mean it, right? You regret doing it. It's okay. I understand.” But saying it was very painful. “It was because of the heat of the moment, right? I understand. It's okay.” He was looking for a justification to cover a broken heart. He repeatedly said “okay” even though Kihyun didn't really feel fine. He was about to cry.

Hyunwoo was silent. Kihyun forced a laugh to break the ice but it only made his condition worse. “You must be tired. Maybe today I'll just sleep in my room and chat with Minhyuk again until I feel sleepy.” Kihyun stood up suddenly from the memorable sofa.

Hyunwoo's breath choked. He didn't know what he really wanted. Was something like this what he wants? Was letting Kihyun go what he wanted? Did Hyunwoo really regret it? He didn't know anymore.

Kihyun was about to leave the room but Hyunwoo reached his wrist and prevented his step further. Kihyun's feelings were chaotic and he wanted to immediately run and release his grip.

“No. Please listen to me.” Hyunwoo's breathing rhythm was out of control. The fear of losing was multiplied. To give up that hand was foolishness.

“Please Hyunwoo. I just want to sleep.” The voice stuttered, holding something out of its mouth.

“I did regret it. I regret doing that to you last night.” Kihyun didn't want to hear any further. _It was enough._ He tried to pull his hand but Hyunwoo's grip was so strong. “But, even though I'm sorry, it doesn't cover the fact that I have desires.”

Kihyun turned around slowly. His eyes glistened slightly and looked at Hyunwoo confusedly. Hyunwoo had decided and his decision was irreversible.

“I have desires to do that. I have desires to get closer with you, to know more about you, to make you happy, to have you in my arms, to embrace you, to kiss you and even the worst is…” Their gaze locked to each other. “I have a desire to have sex with you. Those desires overwhelmed me.”

Kihyun's eyes were perfectly rounded. He did not expect all of these things he would hear directly from Hyunwoo's mouth at that time. Tore away all of his worries.

“I have feelings for you. I fall in love with you. I'm the worst bodyguard, isn't it?” Hyunwoo smiled sadly, lamenting that he was so stupid that he fell into the same hole. Being a protector and then falling in love with the subject is a big mistake. Engaging feelings in investigations is a fatal mistake. Because that feeling will dominate the mind and make it let go of logic and precede feelings. Because of that feeling too, Hyunwoo had a hard time interrogating Kihyun because he couldn't see Kihyun suffering. Because of that feeling too, Hyunwoo obeyed Kihyun and did not force Jooheon at Kihyun's request. Because of that feeling too, Hyunwoo reached a dead end. Because of that feeling, Hyunwoo was stuck with the past. Because of that, Hyunwoo almost failed to protect the people he loved.

He really regretted it all.

“I'm sorry about everything. But I can't hide it anymore. For your safety. You can substitute me with another better bodyguard. I'll accept that because this is my own negligence, Mr. Yoo.”

Hyunwoo released his grip and let Kihyun choose a better one. Instead of letting the singer continue to be in danger, Hyunwoo decided to back off. That way, he won't be afraid of losing because of all the mistakes he made. Other people will do better than him.

Kihyun silently looked at Hyunwoo's lowered face. His bodyguard looked resigned. Tears slowly trickled down Kihyun's face. Leaving a trail of mixed feelings.

Kihyun touched the scratch on his cheek. “Kihyun. Please call me Kihyun.” He smiled a little. “Does your wound still hurt?: Hyunwoo shook his head weakly. The two of them had intense gazes and sank into the closeness of their bodies. Kihyun hugged his body with difficulty, wrapped his arms around his waist, and leaned against his broad chest. He inhaled that soothing masculine scent. The smell that is always there accompanies him while sleeping. The fragrance and gentle touch lead him to sweet dreams and forget the nightmares that haunt him every night.

“I don't care. I need my Hyunwoo.” Kihyun hugged the body tighter and kissed his collarbone. “I need nobody else but you.”

“But—”

_“I won't go anywhere. Trust me.”_ Kihyun said it firmly, forcing Hyunwoo to understand that he would not get hurt and would not go anywhere. Because he will stay beside Hyunwoo forever as Hyunwoo hugged him back. “I love you, Hyunwoo.”

**~~oOo~~**

Hoseok looked up at the sky through the open window. A gentle breeze greeted his cheeks. His hair was messy. He chuckled. The sky was so bright just like when he and Hyunwoo played soccer in the yard. He kicked the ball until it fell into the fish pond. He told his younger brother to take the ball and he fell into the pool until his clothes got wet. A chaotic memory but beautiful to remember.

His reverie was interrupted as he heard the knock on the door. He turned his head when he found Hyunwoo coming into his office. Hyunwoo brought a transparent plastic zipper and put it on Hoseok's desk.

“I need your help with this asap.” Hoseok looked at the contents of the plastic—a thin cutter blade without a cutter body. Hyunwoo looked seriously at Hoseok. “I need your help to check whose blood on this cutter blade.”

“Hyunwoo is this... where did you—”

“I can't tell you now but I have my own way.” His face was grim and on the verge of despair. “I need to confirm that my intuition is wrong.” Hoseok nodded. He took the plastic and put it in a drawer. He would enlist the help of the Lee family connections to get the priority of the chemical checking that Hyunwoo wanted.

Hoseok sat limply on the workbench. All of this successive occurrence was frustrating. Even the identity and motive of the letter’s sender was still a mystery. According to Hyunwoo, the result of Kihyun's house CCTV was the same as an agency building's CCTV. No meaningful information could be found because the CCTV only faces the entrance and gate. The information that can be obtained was that Kihyun got out the house holding the fifth letter with a confused look—it seemed that was the moment where Kihyun found the letter under the entrance door—and a few hours later the manager came with a panicked face.

“How about homeless people? Have you found them?”

“Not yet.” Hoseok shook his head. “It is still in progress. I'll contact you if we get any information.” Hyunwoo nodded and muttered thanks. “So, what about the preparation for Jooheon and Kihyun's collaborative performance?”

“It's good. I have prepared everything for their safety. I hope there is no more chaos.” Due to the commotion that occurred after the press conference, Jooheon and Kihyun's first collaboration appearance had to be postponed and it was decided to be scheduled for the next two days. “Hoseok.”

“Hm?”

He was a little bit reluctant to say it but Hoseok needed to know. “I and Kihyun are… We are a thing now. I mean—” He lowered his head. Hoseok smiled a little.

“You call him _Kihyun_ now.” He smiled mischievously. “I know it. He always looks at you with heart eyes.”

Hyunwoo smiled awkwardly and was a little embarrassed. “What about you and Hyungwon?”

Hoseok laughed again. He cleared his throat trying to clear the hoarse wet throat. “Huh, he's still mad at me. And you know, he's always bragging about Changkyun every time, he's mad.”

Instantly Hyunwoo became sad every time that name was spoken. But Hyunwoo had to move forward because currently, Hyunwoo had someone important to protect. Hoseok was busy looking at the photo frame on the table—a three-figure photo of Hoseok, Hyunwoo, and his younger brother Changkyun.

“Hyunwoo.” Hoseok turned his gaze to Hyunwoo. He swallowed a bitter taste. The two of them stared at each other seriously. Hyunwoo was ready to accept whatever Hoseok would say to him. “I'm happy as long as you're happy, Hyunwoo. You're my precious best friend. Kihyun is a good person, I know him so well too. But—”

Hyunwoo found out that Hoseok was demanding something from him. Hoseok continued, staring at him deep into the depths of his heart. “—Have you forgotten everything about Changkyun?”

Hyunwoo smiled sadly at him and gave him his heart determination, “I won't forget everything about Changkyun. I won't ever. He is my precious first love after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I’m so happy that this work has reached this stage. Even though there were so many grammar mistakes but I feel proud aahahahha. The threat letter sender will be revealed soon. Please wait for it. Actually, exactly after I wrote this chapter, I don’t have the heart to reveal the culprit. Because it is so hard for me too. 
> 
> How do you feel readers? Please tell me about your thoughts. Sometimes I need some refreshing comments from you guys because this work hurt me so much even though I’m the author. I think I prefer writing my work “Treasure” instead of this work because it’s hurt so much for me.
> 
> Ah, I’m not forcing you to comments, I just feel so emotional after writing this chapter. So don’t pay attention to it!
> 
> Thank you so much for your support all this time!


	10. They're in Love ; Disclosure the Fact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are in Love <3
> 
> But....

The day was Kihyun and Jooheon collaboration performance being held and also the first day of promotion week for their brand new collaboration song.

Kihyun paced back and forth with impatient steps in the waiting room. Sometimes he looked to the mirror to see if the makeup was still in the best condition. Sometimes he glanced at the clock in the corner of the room. Sometimes he circled around the entrance. Sometimes he sighed many times. Sometimes he folded his arms and tapped his feet a few times.

Well, waiting was so unsettling.

“Where is Hyunwoo?” Kihyun pursed his lips. His hands were still folded across his chest making his outfit tangled. His feet made repetitive sewing movements. He sighed nervously.

Actually, the fried chicken was delicious.  _ Too delicious. _ So Minhyuk and Hyungwon didn't bother each other. Their hands were busy fighting over the spicy crispy chicken with a sprinkling of gochujang spices that make their appetite grow stronger.

“Hey, Kihyun. Where did you order this chicken? I love their whatever-they-said-gochujang-chicken.” Minhyuk exclaimed with his mouth full and didn't stop chewing. Incidentally this morning, he and Hyungwon were invited to a morning variety show on K-song television. Due to the live broadcast schedule and the broadcast right after the morning news, Minhyuk didn't have time to eat breakfast.

“But I think it's less spicy compared to the last one.” Hyungwon overwrote Minhyuk's words. He took a spoonful of rice from the bowl and mixed it with the gochujang sauce. “And this is too salty than the other day.”

“It has to be salty, it's supposed to be eaten together with rice, you pink head.”

Hyungwon had a little trouble swallowing his rice. He took a glass of water and gulped it down so as not to choke. “No. Fried chicken doesn't have to be salty. Most of Korean eat it without rice.”

“But you eat rice now.” Minhyuk looked at him in surprise.

“Because we're hungry.”

Minhyuk pursed his lips and his shoulders rose. The expression on his face said that those words were absolutely true.

Kihyun stared at the two best friends. “It doesn't matter. Fried chicken is always right.” His body felt restless again. He glanced at the clock again. His body swayed to and fro. “Where's Hyunwoo!” Due to Minhyuk and Hyungwon's debate about fried chicken, Kihyun got distracted.

“You asked the same thing over and over again in the last ten minutes.” Hyungwon took the biggest chicken thigh among the pile of chicken pieces. His eyes couldn’t be separated from his food and ignored Kihyun's whereabouts. “Even though you know where he is, why are you still asking?”

Minhyuk chuckled with amusement. He almost spat out the contents of his mouth. “He won’t run away from you. Just wait patiently okay.” Even though the two of them had said that, Kihyun still asked about Hyunwoo five minutes later.

“I still love the other one. This is not my style.” Hyungwon gave the final assessment after finishing one bowl of rice and a few pieces of chicken. His body leaned on the sofa and watched Minhyuk bite the rest of the chicken skin.

“I love both of them.” Minhyuk shrugged. “But, eating chicken, this television studio and this waiting room make me worried.” The two of them stared at each other for a moment then turned their attention to Kihyun. Instantly Kihyun's anxiety stopped. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at his own reflection and then turned his gaze over to the familiar dressing table.

_ That's right. _ It was the waiting room where the first threatening letter was found. At that time, the situation was the same. There were only three of them, a few boxes of fried chicken, a foreign letter on the dresser and the atmosphere was tense. Even though the chicken was so delicious and Kihyun bought it for them, the delicious taste was lost in an instant as the memory returned.

“What’s wrong?”

The three heads turned towards the entrance. Someone opened the door slowly and closed it silently.

“Hyunwoo!” Kihyun called him with a whimper and complaining voice. He walked over to his bodyguard in a hurry. “Why did it take so long? Where have you been?”

Hyunwoo smiled sweetly at him. He pushed aside the strands of hair that covered Kihyun's forehead gently. His index finger rubbed the tip of his cheek. “Didn't I say it already? I'm coordinating with several people here to prepare for the performance with Lee Jooheon.”

“But still—” He grumbled, annoyed. He leaned closer to Hyunwoo’s soft touch to have it more. His eyes winked as Hyunwoo’s fingertip touched the corner of his eye. Hyunwoo chuckled softly and touched down his blushing cheeks. _ So cute. _

They lost in their own colorful world and made another border to another world. Because Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s world was dimmer than their world at the moment.

“Um—” Hyungwon took a deep breath and pulled Minhyuk's arm. “Minhyuk and I will look for coffee. I need fresh air.”

“Hey, Hyungwon, wait—” The silver haired man dragged his feet as Hyungwon pulled him harder to the door. “I’m curious, hey, don’t push me!”

Even though they were not visible, Kihyun could still faintly hear the voices of his two friends. They seemed to argue for a moment behind closed doors.

“Never mind. Their aura drives us away.”

Hyunwoo stared at the door expressionlessly. As usual, he had a hard time expressing himself at such times. Hyunwoo's talent only exists in nature that cannot be forced.

Actually, Kihyun already told them about his developing relationship with Hyunwoo. Kihyun wanted them to know because it is a big decision for Kihyun’s life. He also told them how Hyunwoo always there to support his life and Kihyun felt safe around Hyunwoo. It was surprising that his two best friends are so supportive about it. Kihyun thought maybe—at least—Minhyuk would tease him everywhere every time and Hyungwon would laugh his ass off until he pleased; well, it was an usual thing. Kihyun loves their teasing side even though sometimes they’re annoying. 

Kihyun was so shy at the moment to think about it. He played with his own fingers and couldn’t hide his growing smile.

Hyunwoo never hesitated again about everything related to Kihyun since then. He became less formal and casually treated Kihyun as his important thing. His eyes kept watching his lover's beautiful profile and well, it was a great scenery. He couldn’t take his eyes out of it. Hyunwoo always notices every single Kihyun’s expression type—how his cheeks redden and his pursed lips since their relationship growing stronger day by day.

Hyunwoo was glad, so glad to the extent he will do anything for Kihyun. Let’s say he was blinded by love even though actually it was his nature.

Kihyun was an unrivaled existence and his bright smile overcame the sunflower field. Hyunwoo was enchanted by the fallen angel before him.

“You're so pretty.”—The words that never left Hyunwoo's mouth all this time. Because he always hides his feelings whenever Kihyun charms him.

Kihyun bit his own lips nervously as he heard the compliment. Surely that was an ordinary compliment; many people say the same thing even the fans. Then, Kihyun thought of it as an expression of their love for Kihyun. But thinking about those words came from Hyunwoo, he couldn't hide his over happiness. “Today, the stylists are giving their best effort to make me look better. She said I didn't look pale and lethargic anymore. It is thanks to you.”

Hyunwoo smiled. He let out a surrender sigh. He surrendered to Kihyun. He gave up.

His hand cupped Kihyun blushing cheeks and rubbed it gently like he was a fragile porcelain doll. Their eyes were looking for a deep connection inside their mind and let out an electric shock throughout their bodies. Kihyun walked closer and closer to give up his body weight to Hyunwoo’s strong stance. He gives all of his world and depends everything on Hyunwoo. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the warmth of Hyunwoo's body present throughout his body. Kihyun made sure he could feel everything as his arm wrapped around Hyunwoo’s waist. Hyunwoo put his chin on his lover’s head and inhaled his refreshing fragrance.

“Do you feel nervous?” Hyunwoo asked in a gentle tone. Kihyun nodded weakly. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous even though performing in front fans is his favourite thing. There were so many things he worried about and losing Hyunwoo's existence made him nervous even if only for a short time.

“Why? I thought you’re excited to meet your fans since your last performance. It's almost two months now.”

Kihyun shook his head. His nose buried under Hyunwoo’s crook of neck. Inhaling masculine scent. “I don’t know but I feel restless.”

“Do you need something to calm it down? Maybe something sweet, I’ll look for it.” Hyunwoo chuckled as he rubbed Kihyun’s back.

“No,” He whined, “This is better.” He said it as he hugged Hyunwoo tighter. Kihyun was never so needy before, but together with Hyunwoo made him act like an emotional human being.

Hyunwoo was overflowing with many kinds of feelings. He kissed the singer’s forehead, like it was the thing he should do. Kihyun blinked as he felt warmness on his forehead. He created a little distance between their bodies. Something in his chest rumbled as if something was going to burst out and explode. He glanced at hyunwoo reluctantly, trying to hide his expression. But their gaze locked as Hyunwoo met his sparkling eyes. Hyunwoo should know his feelings are gonna be visible if he did it, but he did it. 

It was the moment, when Hyunwoo realized that Kihyun was painfully unbearable. He leaned in closer to reach Kihyun’s soft lips and kissed him like he always wanted to do. Giving so much soft fondling by the lips and then slowly conquer the boundaries. Kihyun closed his eyes while enjoying lovely kisses and kissing him back to the same level of excitement. 

“I’m sorry.” Hyunwoo muttered into the kiss as trying to catch his breath, “I mess up your makeup.” But he kept kissing the lips and using all of his jaw muscles to reach deeper intimation. Kihyun smiled into the kiss and stood still. 

As the kisses ended, Kihyun hugged his body one more time and released a melodic hum. Park Hyerin stepped in and informed them that the time was coming. Suddenly, Kihyun felt calmer and brought himself to his shining time. Hyunwoo was busy telling everyone there to help if something unwanted happens and then accompanied Kihyun to meet Jooheon in the back stage for the final rehearsal. Hyunwoo and Jooheon met by their gaze, and Jooheon smiled softly to him as Hyunwoo sank into the unsolved mystery around Lee Jooheon. But it wasn’t the time. 

A crowd of fans was waiting in front of the stage and everything had to be done was to ensure that the safety of the two artists was guaranteed and the performance was a success. Hyunwoo stood in the corner of the studio furthest from the stage to pay attention to the environment. In fact, Hyunwoo wanted to watch at a closer distance so that he could enjoy his lover's beautiful voice more clearly and realistically. But it didn’t matter anymore, he could enjoy wherever he was. Because it’s his Kihyun.

The crowd of fans seemed to rumble even more than the last time Hyunwoo saw them. In fact, he had heard several people saying that they love the collaboration album. They said it with the same excitement that Hyunwoo felt every time he heard Kihyun sing.

Like the first time Hyunwoo saw Kihyun performing, he lost in the forest of his mind. He forgot the reason why he was there as if his soul was into something calming and let Hyunwoo sleep in the beautifulness. Kihyun enchanted him the same as the first time and it was proving something moving inside Hyunwoo’s heart.

He’s falling in love once again.

> **Now what was once hot is only cold**
> 
> **Looks like it's been dull from the past pain**
> 
> **To everything that aroused me**
> 
> **And sorry for me taking it all**
> 
> **To you who pushed mе endlessly**
> 
> **Why don't you know I'm like a black devil**
> 
> **I want to return to the pure me**
> 
> **I want to go back to my childhood (You heard?)**
> 
> **Nobody can stop me now**
> 
> **Nobody can hold me down**
> 
> **They're gonna try to bring me down**
> 
> **My future smoky, smoky**
> 
> **Smoky, I'm trying to start again**
> 
> **Smoky, I'll take on the pain**
> 
> **Smoky, I'm trying to smile again**
> 
> **Smoky, I can't see myself again**
> 
> **Smoky, come on hold my hand again**
> 
> **Smoky, I'll wait for you there**
> 
> **Wake up, wake up**
> 
> **It's time to go right now**
> 
> **Don't be scared no one can hurt you now**
> 
> **Love, pain**
> 
> **It's all just in the moment**
> 
> **Believe in yourself**
> 
> **Smoky, I'm trying to start again**
> 
> **Smoky, I'll take on the pain**
> 
> **Smoky, I'm trying to smile again**
> 
> **Smoky, I can't see myself again**
> 
> **Smoky, come on hold my hand again**
> 
> **Smoky, I'll wait for you there**
> 
> (Smoky by Joohoney)

**~~oOo~~**

“Uwah, I’m so glad that the performance is successful!” Hyerin shouted throughout the waiting room. She rested her body on the sofa as soon as he reached it. His belly looked bigger than the last time—it was almost 4 months pregnant. “And I’m more than happy because Kihyun is safe. Thank you so much, Hyunwoo.”

“No. I haven’t done much.” Hyunwoo smiled at her. Kihyun also let out a sigh of relief and then smiled at her. Hyerin was so busy arranging Kihyun’s schedule and anything related to Kihyun’s needs and jobs. Kihyun knew it so well that he was being such a big burden to his pretty manager all this time. He couldn’t help but say thank you so many times to her.

“No. I’m really saying thank you for everything you do for Kihyun’s sake. I don’t know what to do if there isn’t you.”

An imaginary bow pierced Hyunwoo's chest. He knows that he hasn't done much for Kihyun and he hasn't even managed to solve the case and find the culprit. Even though the threatening letters had stopped coming when Hyunwoo was present, finding the sender was something that had to be done so that Kihyun's safety was guaranteed.

In fact, Hyunwoo had an unsubstantiated conjecture but he tried to lead it to a more meaningful guess with valid evidence so that his doubts were cleared. But at this time, the things he was questioning were still unanswered and Hoseok had not yet provided news regarding the homeless people that Hyunwoo wanted to meet in order to interrogate them. Homeless people around the agency building were an important key to the second and third letters because Hyunwoo couldn’t clearly see the incident of finding the letter because CCTV did not clearly catch the process.

And there was Jooheon too. A mysterious existence that Hyunwoo was suspicious of but he couldn't confirm. Even after the performance earlier, Kihyun separated himself as soon as possible from Joohoen's group and pulled Hyunwoo's hand away from him.

“I hope everything will run smoothly. Regarding the outcome of the conference, the agency seems to be making other preparations because the media and the public are still demanding answers. And it seems, attention is turning to you, Hyunwoo.” Hyerin gave him a worried look. He never thought this situation would happen. The existence of the letter sender who is still anonymous and now Hyunwoo is the spotlight of the public. In fact, Hyerin was also curious about the last question from the media during the conference;  _ no, _ Hyerin didn’t doubt that Hyunwoo could definitely protect Kihyun and it has been proven so far. But the manager thought about the incident 5 years ago which was raised again because of it.

Kihyun glanced at Hyunwoo's face from a distance. The face seemed to express sweat and hard thoughts.  _ The unanswered last question. _ Kihyun knew how badly the effect of the questioning on Hyunwoo and he had witnessed his bodyguard experiencing a mental shock. Although thanks to that, the feelings of the two of them finally reached each other.

_ Kihyun doesn't know anything about Hyunwoo.  _ He rarely talked about himself. Was there something in his past that bothered him the same as Kihyun's? Kihyun was curious even though he couldn't answer it. He had yet to muster up the courage to question this bad thing to Hyunwoo because the singer understood that digging back old wounds is an inner torment that kills logic and patience. Kihyun was wondering:  _ the photo that Hyunwoo always stared at, the stitch marks along his back and the mystery of Son Hyunwoo's uncontrollable loss because of his love for Kihyun were big questions in Kihyun's mind. _ But, Kihyun was happy that Hyunwoo loved him back.

The last question stating the failure of a Hyunwoo to protect someone. Kihyun wondered who was the person who failed to be protected by Hyunwoo's tight guard? The singer has experienced firsthand how tight Hyunwoo's protection is—he even protected Kihyun both physically and mentally.

“It’s okay. I don’t have a problem if the public turns their attention to me. Maybe it is the best way. The important things to do now is keep Kihyun safe no matter what.” Hyunwoo spoke gently as he stared at the smiling Kihyun.

Hyunwoo was determined about everything related to Kihyun.

After completing all the performance schedules, the two of them returned to Kihyun's residence—of course with Hyunwoo's neat way by taking Kihyun around so that the media and fansite couldn’t follow in the footsteps of their journey back home.

Being with Hyunwoo at home is what Kihyun is looking forward to now. He was no longer afraid of the coming darkness and nightmares that haunt his life. Because there was Hyunwoo who hugged him tight all the time and while Kihyun was asleep on the bed.

“Hyunwoo,” Kihyun writhed in Hyunwoo's arms to see if his lover was asleep. But he found the fact that Hyunwoo was watching his face the whole time with round eyes and didn’t have the slightest drowsiness on his expression. Their breaths mingled in a hug. Kihyun could clearly see Hyunwoo's masculine face line from such a close distance. He grabbed his jaw and stroked it slowly. “What are you doing?”

“Watching you sleeping.”

Kihyun chuckled. “What? Don't say you always watch me sleep.” He kept laughing at the thought of his own ridiculous statement. How could that happen. But there was no answer and Kihyun writhed roughly while glaring at Hyunwoo. He raised his voice to the highest notes. “Seriously? Is that true?”

Hyunwoo nodded with a little “hm” sound.

It was nothing strange for Hyunwoo. He could not fall asleep because he had to be on standby all the time. In addition, since the first time Kihyun slept on his sofa, Hyunwoo had always made sure Kihyun was asleep and not bothered by nightmares that sometimes made Kihyun scream in his sleep.

Kihyun was shocked to death. He sighed in astonishment. The singer already knew that Hyunwoo always accompanied him but he never thought that Hyunwoo didn’t fall asleep and made sure that Kihyun was asleep and not disturbed. That is one of the reasons why Kihyun can sleep soundly since his bodyguard was there and everyone said that he looked fresh in the morning and his eye bags were gone. Even among them also said that Kihyun's behavior has become more stable since then.

Kihyun was surender. Yes, he gave up to Hyunwoo.

“Oh my God.” He leaned back his head against Hyunwoo's chest and listened to his rhythmic heartbeat. Kihyun didn't know what else to say other than he was lucky to find someone so kind. “I give up, Hyunwoo. You win.” The singer smiled followed by a melodic quirk that amused Hyunwoo. He hit the broad shoulder lightly. He glanced briefly at the calm face and then gave a kiss to his neck.

“Why did I win? We're not playing a game.”

“Oh my God! You make me frustrating.” Kihyun growled impatiently, cupped Hyunwoo's face quickly and pulled him closer so that their lips sealed together. Hyunwoo just followed the groove and did his best to pull Kihyun's body tighter.

His big hands crept up over Kihyun's back, giving him soft strokes while his lips conquered Kihyun's kiss that was trying to dominate him. He kissed it as deep as he could reach and pursed his soft lips. Hyunwoo stuck out his tongue as Kihyun took a deep breath, taking the opportunity to explore the roof of his mouth. Kihyun jolted as Hyunwoo slowly pushed the singer and crawled up on top of him. Hyunwoo slightly held the weight on his body above the elbow so as not to squeeze the smaller body.

Kihyun was demanding the same thing as before but now he asked without having to say. He didn't even need to hesitate to let Hyunwoo take over and hold back his movements. As Hyunwoo's kisses grew impatient, Kihyun reached his side face and stroked it gently as if to say that Hyunwoo didn't need to hurry and can take his time slowly.

The roar of warm breath blew along his face as their lips parted. The two of them looked at each other and Kihyun laughed amusedly. Hyunwoo was stunned again by the beauty presented up close. He pressed his forehead to Kihyun’s, signaling that it was a moment filled with passion that radiated from both eyes.

“Hyunwoo.”

Hyunwoo gave a little distance of sight so he could pay close attention to that face. “Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?” Hyunwoo nodded and smiled slightly. “Whose photo do you always stare at? The small one in your wallet.” Instantly the bodyguard's small smile faded like he had just flown in the wind. Kihyun definitely ruined the moment, he felt guilty but curious at the same time. He couldn't keep asking himself over and over again.

“A photo of me, Hoseok and—” Hyunwoo swallowed the words that tasted bitter, “Changkyun.”

“Changkyun?”

Hyunwoo forced a smile and Kihyun finally found the person who was an important part of Hyunwoo's life.  _ This Changkyun. _ “Yes, Hoseok's younger brother.”

“I—” Kihyun never thought of that possibility and he had asked Hoseok directly the other day. Kihyun felt stupid. “—Don't know that Hoseok-hyung has a younger brother.” And the singer finally remembered where Hyunwoo came from. He didn't just appear in front of Kihyun. The reason why Hyunwoo was there was because Hoseok recommended him.

“Is he—”

“He is my first love.” Hyunwoo chimed in before Kihyun continued his words. “And I thought I would never love someone again since then.”

Kihyun stared at that close face with a frowning expression.

“Yes, I keep the photo and make it my treasure in case you were wondering.”

Kihyun was at a loss for words. All the words seemed to answer the questions in Kihyun's head without him having to mention them one by one. He felt ashamed of himself.

“Don't worry. You're not wrong. I just want to tell you the truth. You are a precious person to me now.” Kihyun looked back at him, realizing a determination in his words and Kihyun felt a double guilt.

“I'll keep you safe no matter what. I'll do anything. I will finish off whoever hurt you.”

Kihyun vented his emotions on Hyunwoo's shirt and squeezed it as tight as possible as a form of mounting fear. His breath was gasping, waiting for help to come. “Hyunwoo.” He looked at him terrified. He had to say it. He must—

But Hyunwoo realized, he stroked Kihyun's hair gently and mumbled his love. Kihyun couldn't take it anymore, but he couldn’t change anything. He couldn’t change his decision. Kihyun had own strong determination, too. “Please stay by my side... no matter what happens.”

**~~oOo~~**

A week has passed and the promotion process for the collaboration album has reached its peak. The reaction of the fans and the audience was very enthusiastic. And the most important thing for Hyunwoo is that Kihyun's safety during the promotion process was truly achieved. Not a single suspicious entity emerged during the process and no stranger interference either. Although the media were still trying to find opportunities to interview the singer and his bodyguard regarding the conference issue. They also still insisted on questioning Hyunwoo's background. It also has an effect on fans' reactions.

“What are you doing?” Kihyun walked closer as Hyunwoo pensively stared at the cellphone screen. At that time, Jooheon and Kihyun's last performance had just finished. Hyunwoo looked around the waiting room and it happened that day the stylists were still talking to each other there and Manager Park was also there discussing something with the internal television team.

“Kihyun. Don't go anywhere. I'll go see Hoseok for a bit.” Hyunwoo got up from his seat and then put his hand on Kihyun's shoulder and squeezed it. “Understand?” Hyunwoo gave a peck on his cheek secretly when no one saw it.

Kihyun didn't understand but he still nodded slowly as Hyunwoo walked out of the room as fast as lightning without even turning around.

Hyunwoo walked quickly. His hands are busy pressing the number and calling someone. “Have you left? Meet me in the parking lot behind the building and please bring a laptop.” He put the cell phone back in his coat pocket and pulled out the flashdisk. Fortunately, He saved the cctv recording on a flash drive just in case.

It only took about thirty minutes for Hyunwoo to wait. As expected, the rear parking lot is rarely used by visitors because the area is not directly connected to the main road. An MPV car slid closer and stopped right in front of Hyunwoo. He rushed straight into the car without arousing suspicion. When he turned his head, he found an old man in somewhat tattered clothes sitting restlessly and smiling stiffly.

“He's Mr. Jang. One of the homeless who was on the scene.” Hoseok said while turning his head from the driver's seat. He got out of the car to move to the back seat and did not forget to take the laptop.

“Hello, Mr Jang. Excuse us for getting you involved. We don't mean anything bad, we just wanted to ask you a few questions. Okay?”

Hoseok turned on the laptop and Hyunwoo handed Hoseok the flashdisk. “Is it true that you were one of the people in front of the agency building about three months ago? At that time, there were two letters found by your gang.” Hoseok handed the laptop to Hyunwoo. Immediately the bodyguard showed Mr. Jang the laptop screen:  _ it showed several crowds that were slightly covered in trees from a CCTV point of view. _

Mr Jang nodded as he saw the screen. “Yes, I was there. But I didn't see the letter you were referring to. I wasn't the one who found it either.”

“So, where were you at that time?”

Mr. Jang's hand tried to point back at the laptop and finally Hyunwoo showed it again. “Here.” He pointed to a row of large trash boxes not too far from the crowd. Due to the limits of cctv censorship, Mr Jang's whereabouts weren’t very clear. Only part of his body was visible and he appeared to be watching the crowd near the trash. “I'm picking up some good junk to sell. Sometimes the agency company throws away some unused good stuff and we barter it to get food.”

Hyunwoo nodded, “I see. How long have you been wandering around the building?”

“I don't remember but it's quite a while. You know, we are homeless and we don't have a fixed place to live. As long as there's food then we'll stay.”

“Is it true?” Hyunwoo smiled. “Are you eating well?”

Mr. Jang nodded, returning Hyunwoo's smile slightly awkwardly. He was scared when the building security ran after him, he thought he had done so badly that he had to be hunted down like that. But it seemed that Hyunwoo didn't give him a terrible impression and pressure. “Well, there is this young man. We don't know him. He used to put a lot of food at our base not so far from the building.”

“A young man?”

“Yes.” Mr. Jang nodded and tried to lift his jacket hoodie. “He always wears a black hoodie jacket like this to cover his face. He also wears a mask. We can't see his face. He never hands us the food directly. Suddenly the food was in our place. It was the reason why we lived there for quite a long time until finally a building security kicked us out because one of us found some letters near the tree.” His hand points to a large tree blocking the CCTV viewpoint.

Hyunwoo felt off about this young man but he couldn't guess the connection. “Then, do you really know nothing about the letter? Or maybe saw someone put it there? Or maybe saw someone suspicious around there at the time?”

Mr Jang shook his head. He showed a scared face as if he had done something bad. “What's with that letter? Why did you mention ‘someone suspicious’? Are we going to be arrested?”

“No. I'm sorry if I sound weird. But calm down, we only need information. We will not arrest you.” Hyunwoo said as carefully as possible to keep Mr. Jang calm. If the source panics, they may give wrong information. “So do you know nothing about it?”

Mr. Jang looked at Hyunwoo. He shook his head, Hyunwoo looked sluggish. Mr Jang felt sympathy. His eyebrows deepened. He couldn't find any memories related to Hyunwoo's question. “But, I don't know if this has anything to do with the information you need.”

“Yes?” Hyunwoo looked at him expectantly. Mr Jang was awry.

“One of us, Daejung, he's a little bit naughty. He fell asleep in the gap in the row of trash because he was drunk.” Hyunwoo's eyebrows rose, expecting something. “I can't be sure if what he said is true because he was so drunk as he said it. He said that it was a few hours before Kangdae found the letter and thought he found money, Daejun saw this man who he thought was so similar to the young man who often gave us food.”

“And then?”

Mr Jang took a deep breath. He tried to remember the details of the story from the man named Daejung. “It was so quiet at that time. Looks like this young man didn't notice Daejung. I don't really remember what he said, his words were out of order. Daejung said the man was slender and his hair was a bit brownish. He saw him enter the agency building.”

Hyunwoo's brows furrowed slowly, slowly and slowly until they almost became one. He immediately opened the laptop and rewinded the video until he found a mound in between the trash that he suspected was Daejung. Hyunwoo played back the video until finally the appearance of a brown haired man from an unknown direction entered the building and greeted the security guard. Hyunwoo widened his eyes.

“That's why we're not suspecting him.” Hyunwoo muttered to himself.

“Hyunwoo, is that?” Hoseok looked at Hyunwoo in disbelief. He shook his head. “Don't tell me that he was the culprit—” Hoseok's cell phone rang. In a state of shock like that, the cell phone rang at the wrong time. But after seeing the contact on the cellphone, Hoseok immediately picked up the phone and talked to someone.

“Hyunwoo,” Hoseok gave an even more terrifying look. He put the cell phone to his thigh languidly, “I've got the lab results. The blood on the cutter blade is yours.”

Hyunwoo let out a desperate sigh. He covered his face with one hand. He got a heavy headache.  _ This can't be happening.  _ His instincts couldn't be right. He needed more evidence to prove that he was wrong.  _ Only one person can prove it. There is only one person. _

Hyunwoo hurriedly got out of the car. “Hoseok, I need your help. Please take Kihyun home and stay with him until I get there. Please don’t tell him about this.”

“Wait, Hyunwoo. Where are you going?”

“Please, Hoseok.”

Hoseok just kept quiet and nodded. Hyunwoo's face looked frustrated. He ran as fast as he could into the television studio building and past everyone who tried to block him. Even in the distance, he saw Minhyuk who tried to greet him but he did not pay attention.

Hyunwoo arrived in front of a waiting room. That person should still be in there. Hopefully. He knocked on the door and met a familiar person. The man he wanted to meet was sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. He looked sadly at Hyunwoo.

The man was Lee Jooheon and his cute dimples.

Jooheon asked everyone in the waiting room to leave the two of them alone without Hyunwoo asking.

“Finally you come to me, Mr Bodyguard.”

Hyunwoo stepped into the room and closed the door as tightly as possible.

“It took a long time to meet me. It was hard to meet me, right?”

The roar of his breath still peaked because he ran as fast as possible from the parking lot until he reached the waiting room which was on the third floor. “Mr Lee.”

“I told you, right. You can call me Jooheon, you're older too. I'll call you Hyunwoo-hyung.” He smiled at Hyunwoo and then put his magazine back to the table. He sat up straight and prepared himself. He had been looking forward to the moment Hyunwoo would come to him and that moment had finally come. “Did you come here to expose me?”

“Why? Please tell me why.”

“I assume you already know the truth.” Jooheon looked sadly at the cover of his collaboration album with Kihyun. “That's right. Everything you guessed is true.” Hyunwoo was frustrated. This shouldn't be the answer he wanted. It shouldn't be like this.

“Don't say something like that. Please tell me that I'm wrong.” Hyunwoo looked at Jooheon filled with hope that the man would understand Hyunwoo's feelings at this time. But reality is still reality and Hyunwoo shouldn't side with his assumptions and wishes. “Why you?”

Jooheon sighed. “I love him as a fan and as a friend. I just want him to be safe. But it seems he doesn't want it. And this is the reason why this situation happened.” He lifted the collaboration album into the air, showing the cover was smooth and shiny. “Sometimes, I regret it for forcing him to collaborate with me. But I'm also grateful I did because I finally found out.”

Hyunwoo was at a loss for words. He was unable to say anything against Jooheon's words. Everything the rapper said was honesty.

“Hyunwoo-hyung.” The bodyguard turned its gaze to Jooheon. “This is the truth. I'm so sorry about everything.” And Jooheon bowed his head respectfully at the meritorious bodyguard. “And please stay by his side.”

**~~oOo~~**

Hyunwoo was dumbfounded the whole time. Kihyun was chuckling next to him because of the movie they watched. His head rested on Hyunwoo's broad shoulder and sometimes he rolled up his body to fit Hyunwoo's arm cage.

Hoseok has been back home since a few hours ago. He fulfilled Hyunwoo's request to immediately take Kihyun home without telling the singer any information. Kihyun's condition seemed fine as if he really doesn't know anything about discovered information. Hoseok was so worried as he saw Hyunwoo coming home with unsteady steps. While Kihyun was showering, Hoseok decided to ask about the facts they had found and Hyunwoo nodded in agreement. At that time Hoseok said, “So it is true. I'm sorry about everything, Hyunwoo. I'm sorry for involving you in this problem.” But Hyunwoo was silent and Hoseok felt guilty.

Kihyun felt a strange aura around Hyunwoo since his return but he was still hesitant to ask but Hyunwoo disturbed by something until then and didn’t enjoy the movie.

“Hyunwoo, is there something wrong?”

Hyunwoo turned his head and looked at his lover. So it was true. He always looked so beautiful in Hyunwoo's eyes in every situation. He had lost himself. However, he had to reveal it. “Kihyun.”

“Yes?”

“I love you so much.”

Kihyun chuckled in embarrassment. His bodyguard said it without warning. It felt like something was hitting Kihyun's heart, making it beat faster than normal. “Why did you say that all of a sudden?”

“I love you, that's why I'll tell you everything in my mind now.” He glanced at the singer. “I already know the identity of the culprit.”

The expression on Kihyun's face changed. “Is that so?” His smile faded. He bit his lip restlessly. The sound of the movie couldn't be heard anymore. He only could feel the heartbeat and heavy blood flow throughout the body.

Hyunwoo shifted his body so he could face Kihyun more firmly and stared at his every move. “You know the culprit’s identity. That's why you don't want the police to get involved. Is it true?”

“Um.” He nodded. His eyes wandered and did not look at Hyunwoo.

“But I still don't understand why you changed your mind and ended up hiring me as your bodyguard.”

Kihyun lowered his head and did not say anything.

“I spoke with Jooheon today.”

Suddenly Kihyun looked back at his lover's face. Surprise crossed the expression on his face. So far, Kihyun has been trying his best but in the end—

But still. He took a deep breath. Kihyun already knew that this time would come. He had to face that reality and couldn't avoid it anymore.

“Jooheon is the witness. He knows the culprit. He is the living evidence. That’s why you try to cover him out. Is it right?”

Kihyun nodded once again.

“The culprit was—” Hyunwoo's mouth was hard to move. It felt like his lips were trembling from holding back his voice from escaping. He wanted to express it but also did not want to reveal it. But he had to do it even though he didn't want to. Hyunwoo stood in the midst of the uncertainty in his true self and reached a dead-end thought process. “—was…”

But Hyunwoo never thought that Kihyun would say that. “It's okay, Hyunwoo. Say it.” Kihyun looked at him with sorrow that encompasses determination at the same time.

_ “You.” _

Kihyun smiled sadly to himself.

_ “The one who sent the threatening letter was you.” _

_ “The one who ordered the two men to pelt you with rotten things was you.” _

_ “The one who nearly hurt us in the media crowd was you.” _

_ “The culprit was you. You sent those letters to yourself. You tried to hurt yourself.” _

Reality was so painful and telling Kihyun was painful. But the thing that was more painful was—

“Yes. It was me.”

—Heard it directly from Kihyun.

The singer's voice was so melodic that Hyunwoo fell in love so many times but his voice this time seemed to rise from hell and brought torment to himself.

_ “Why? Why Kihyun?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : As I promised, here's the update. I wrote it longer as compensation for my absence last week due to illness so I couldn't update this story.
> 
> I used Jooheon's Smoky song as their collaboration because the song really reflects Kihyun's condition in this story. Imagine Jooheon singing the rap part and Kihyun singing the chorus. Then there is the children's choir. It will be good! Please support Jooheon's mixtape!
> 
> I can't say anything at the moment because this chapter made me happy at the beginning and emotional at the end. They are in love but end with problems. So, blame me as the author. Hyunwoo is madly in love and Kihyun is so cute. Damn it my brain why did you do such a cruel thing!!!!
> 
> Thank you for your support. I can't make it until this chapter if there aren't you guys~


	11. The Brother ; Nightmare begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I told you. You never expect this…

_ " _ _ The culprit was you. You sent those letters to yourself. You tried to hurt yourself.” _

“Yes, it was me.”

Sadness, anger, confusion, desperation became one existence in Kihyun’s body. He should have known that he can’t hide anything from everyone around him. They’re such important people. They did nothing wrong. It’s Kihyun who did it wrong. If he could say it, he regrets everything. But if he could say it, he doesn’t regret anything. There was an evil and an angel overlapping in his body and mind. Took control of emotion and killed logic.

But Kihyun made sure of one thing. Yeah, he made a big mistake. Such a big mistake. And this big mistake namely Son Hyunwoo.

“I found bloody cutter blades on your trash.” Hyunwoo smiled sadly, “I’m trying so hard to let it go. I think my intuition was wrong. But I need to prove that I’m wrong. That's why I asked Hoseok to check on them. But...” The voice caught in his throat.

Kihyun kept silent and down his head, looking for another distraction. But Kihyun knew it so well that he couldn't do that to Hyunwoo. He loves Hyunwoo so much, too much, to the point he would scream his love for him until he passed out to prove himself.

“Since that night after the conference, finally I realized it.” He frowned, holding back his own emotion. “There is no way someone can hurt my waist with a sharp object if this someone didn’t do it at close range. I could feel those blades cut me when I hugged you in the crowdedness. But I tried to ignore it.”

Kihyun was about to cry after hearing the confession. Even after he knew the possibility, Hyunwoo kept staying by his side and trusted him. Hyunwoo still loved him the way Kihyun was. 

“It was the peak moment when I hope you trust me enough to know the reason.” Hyunwoo lifted his lover’s chin so his pretty face could face Hyunwoo. There were so many unbearable emotions in those beautiful orbs. His teary eyes reflected so many regrets. He hurt his beloved ones. Kihyun burst out all of his emotion. He was crying like a baby. Sobbing as innocent as them. “Why? Why Kihyun?”

“Because I’m desperate. I think I’m going crazy.”

Always. It's always like that. Kihyun’s crying voice is painfully beautiful. It took Hyunwoo's guts and got him out of control. He embraced the smaller body, giving his warmth to the frozen soul.

_ It's been going on for years, to the point that Kihyun lost the ability to count. He was overshadowed by the figure of his younger brother who was about to be harmed while Kihyun couldn’t do anything and only watched through his eyes covered in blood. _

Kihyun doesn't know since when he was there and lived in the world. He suddenly realized that it was only himself and his younger brother, Yoo Ki-young. They only have each other. All he knows, his younger sibling is his only relative and vice versa.

Their life could be said: not good _. No, it was too good to say it “not good” because actually, it was “the worst” if you knew the whole story. _

Ki-young was too young to know how cruel the world was. He was 3 years younger than Kihyun. At that time, Kihyun was too young too around the age of 12.

Kihyun didn't go to school and neither did Ki-young. As far as Kihyun can remember, the two of them lived in a corner of the traditional market and were only covered with cardboard boxes and tents made of zinc and some iron plates that he picked up around the market. In the area, there weren’t only Kihyun and his younger brother, but also many other homeless children without their parents. Kihyun never once asked where their parents were. However, some people there said there were rumors that Kihyun and Ki-young were dumped by someone nearby. Apart from that, there were also rumors that the two siblings had suddenly been there without anyone knowing the reason.

Their daily lives were passed in a way that was too simple and sometimes too bad. Kihyun was forced to find any way to get food, whether it was cooked or raw food. He was quite grateful because he lived in the traditional market area. Sometimes there were many old aunties there who gave him food as a reward for Kihyun helping look after things or moving them.

“Look, Ki-young, I got lots of sweet potatoes today from Aunt Jae.” Kihyun ran excitedly to Ki-young who was happily playing with a stray cat.

“Really? Yay! Ki-young loves sweet potatoes!”

Ki-young was a smart and not a fussy kid. He knew that his older brother worked so hard every day to get food. Sometimes Kihyun divided his food portions more for Ki-young.

Actually, there were many old ladies in the market trying to take care of the two siblings, but Kihyun always refused them because whatever happened he always felt suspicion towards adults at that time. Maybe it was caused by the situation he was in at that time.

Until finally the day came.

Winter was the most difficult time for the two brothers. Other homeless children also flocked to several places to share warmth. Usually, Kihyun got some thick pieces of cloth from the market sellers. He would hug Ki-young all night long and shut their bodies up in thick sheets of cloth for warmth.

Usually, at times like that, Ki-young asked him to sing a song so he could fall asleep. Yes, any kind of song. Ki-young loved it so much when Kihyun sang a song for him. It would make him fall asleep quickly even in the worst weather.

“Hyung, can you sing a song for me?”

“Again? You sure love it, huh?”

“Yes, I love your voice, Hyung. Your voice is so beautiful. It can make me sleep well.”

“Is that so? Well, it's okay then. I'll sing as much as you want.”

“Yey, I hope one day you become a famous singer. Lots of people will love your voice.”

“I'm not really sure.”

“I am sure. Trust me!”

“Hahahaha. If that's what you want, I'll do it.”

“I hope that time comes soon.”

“I hope so.”

That is the most beautiful memory Kihyun always remembers about his younger brother. He never whines. He's an obedient child. He never once complained about their condition. As long as his brother stayed with him, Ki-young was happy.

It was the time when Kihyun felt the highest pride as an older brother. He fought tooth and nail for his younger brother with his small body.

_ “You are not alone in this world and you will do whatever it takes to protect the people you care about.” _ —These words that Kihyun always remembers and becomes a spirit of life for his younger brother.

The snowfall reached its peak on Christmas Eve. The air temperature reached its lowest point. Highway covered with snow and people passing by only concerned about their own business. But, Kihyun reached a dangerous degree of frustration. However, Kihyun was still a kid, his ability to deal with a problem was limited. Sometimes it made him stress and cried alone like a kid who was abandoned by his mother. He did it when Ki-young was playing with the stray cats. It got worse when he felt Ki-young was motionless in his arms.

Kihyun panicked. He felt Ki-young's body so hot that the heat even reached his own body. He tried to wake him up several times but Ki-young just whined and cowered weakly. His eyes barely opened. Kihyun tried to find help, but there were only powerless homeless people and they didn't have any strength to help him. He burst into tears while hugging his younger brother and hoped that Ki-young will be back to health and play with the snow in the morning with him.

“Are you okay? I heard you crying.” A young man peeked into their small nest. He wore a thick black jacket and carried food in a plastic bag. The food looked so delicious because the aroma spread everywhere.

“My little brother is sick,” Kihyun said, stammering with unstoppable hiccups.

“That's bad.” The young man crouched down, trying to enter their little artificial nest. His hand stretched out towards his younger brother, but Kihyun formed a defensive action and hugged him tighter. “Don't worry. I just want to check him out for a bit. May I?”

Kihyun loosened his hug hesitantly until finally, the bigger hand reached Ki-young's forehead. “Oh my God, he's so hot. We have to get him somewhere warmer.” Kihyun knew it clearly but he was a helpless kid, therefore what he could do was hugging his brother tighter and tighter, hoping that everything will be fine.

“What is your name?”

“Kihyun.”

“And he is?”

“Ki-young.”

The young man smiled. That smile felt so warm among the snow falling on his head. He sat with them, trying to share the warmth. “Kihyun, your little brother is sick and he needs treatment. Will you allow me to help? We will go to the doctor and come to my house until Ki-young is healthy.”

Kihyun was silent. He didn't know what to do. The urgent situation and his doubts about other people made Kihyun confused.  _ Can I trust this young man?  _ Kihyun didn't know. However, that person said things that made him give up on the situation.

_ “It's for your little brother’s sake.” _

And so it happened.

“Thanks, um…”

“My name is Kim Hajoon. You can call me Hajoon.”

Hajoon was a mysterious young boy. His age was probably around 20 years old back then. He lived alone in a nice apartment not so far from the market area. The first time the two brothers came to his apartment, Kihyun was shocked because the house was so warm and there was a lot of food there. In fact, he actually took Ki-young to the nearest practical doctor so that Ki-young could get good care. He was also very kind, always giving a lot of food and attention to the two brothers. They both lived temporarily in the apartment for almost a week until finally, Ki-young was healthy. However, Kihyun couldn't completely trust that person so he decided to thank him and intended to return to their small home.

“You are still young and have no parents. Just being alone out there is dangerous.” Hajoon sat beside Kihyun and tapped him on the shoulder. He gave several strokes so that Kihyun was calmer and could think clearly. Sometimes Hajoon didn’t sound like a typical young person in his early 20, his way of speaking was weird but subtle like he was flirting.

“It's okay. I don't want to bother Hajoon-hyung.”

“Not at all.” He bent down so he could see Kihyun's lowered face. “Look, I got a promising job in the next town. The pay is pretty good. I think enough for the three of us. Will you come with me?”

“But I don't want to be a bother.” Kihyun felt a little worried, Ki-young getting used to the normal life in the apartment. “I'll try to find a job too.”

“I said it's fine. If you feel you are my burden, you can help me with the new job, how is it?”

Kihyun hesitated. His brain wasn't mature enough to decide what to do. All he thinks about is how to survive and provide everything Ki-young’s needs. However, he was always overshadowed by their living conditions so far. In this world, the two of them were alone, as if they were unnecessary things. Even if the rumors were true then their parents don't need them either. This created a trust issue inside Kihyun. But when Kihyun wanted to reject the offer, the magic words left Hajoon's mouth.

_ “Think it carefully, it's for your little brother’s sake.” _

That's how the two brothers ended up moving to the next town with Hajoon. Actually, Kihyun didn't really know where they were because he was too young to be able to know the location. However, the new apartment in the next town was comfortable enough to live in.

Kihyun's sense of wariness started to melt away each day because Hajoon seemed like an honest person. He bought a lot of new clothes for the two of them, cooked for them, even played with Ki-young, and even his younger brother opened his heart to Hajoon. Finally, the two brothers thought of Hajoon as the figure of an older brother.

“Kihyun, remember about my job? Are you still interested in helping me?”

With faded alertness and thirst for love and gratitude, Kihyun agreed to join the job.

The job was too easy. Hajoon brought him into a magnificent residence. There were so many people, they welcomed Kihyun in such a friendly way even though their physical appearance was not worth the way they spoke. They asked Kihyun to deliver goods to certain places or to certain people, but he wasn’t allowed to see what kind of items he was carrying. Hajoon would accompany him to a certain location only and he directed Kihyun to go to the destination. Yes, it was that easy and Kihyun did great jobs.

Hajoon was so happy and thanked Kihyun so many times. The pay was huge even though Kihyun didn't know how much the nominal. After finishing their first job, Hajoon brought them to eat at a restaurant. Ki-young was happy and also Kihyun. They spent the fun time together like a family that Kihyun had been dreaming of.

“Do you like the food?” Hajoon asked softly while stroking Ki-young's hair.

Ki-young nodded excitedly, “I like it. Thank you, Hajoon-hyung. I'll ask Kihyun-hyung to sing a Christmas song for you as a present.” Kihyun almost choked as he wanted to swallow rice.

“Is Kihyun good at singing?”

“Yes! He will be a famous singer in the future.” Kihyun patted his chest because he choked twice. He took a glass and drank the water impatiently.

“Really?”

Kihyun shook his head. His cheeks flushed slightly. “We don't know about it yet.”

“Then, after this, we go home and watch Kihyun's concert.”

“Yes!”

Hajoon smiled as he saw the two brothers voraciously eating the food. He rubbed their heads one by one and hugged them.

“I love you so much, Kihyun, Ki-young.”—were the words Kihyun craved so much. It feels like you are wanted and needed by someone.

Kihyun kept doing the job whenever Hajoon asked him to. He did it with pleasure. But sometimes, as time went by Kihyun felt strange, why did Hajoon never come to the location? Why did he have to leave Kihyun to go alone even when Kihyun had to deliver the goods through tight security? Why did Kihyun always have to lie to those people that he would meet his uncle in that building or that night club? Then what kind of items did he always carry? The size wasn’t too big and not heavy. If he tried to squeeze the contents of the bag, it was like squeezing sugar in plastic. Kihyun wondered. But his love for Hajoon beat the suspicion. Especially when Hajoon came home with a lot of food, invited Ki-young to play, and said that they are his precious little brothers.

Day by day. Week by week. Month by month. Passed so fast even Kihyun didn't realize it.

One day, Hajoon said that the owner of the stately residence wanted Kihyun to deliver goods together with Ki-young. Kihyun refused, of course, because his younger brother was too young to do a job. Hanjoon was annoyed and yelled at them. At that time, he said things like  _ “Because you're too old to do it” _ even though Kihyun was 15 years old at the time. That was the first time Hanjoon looked so angry and almost hit Kihyun with his big fist.

Suddenly, the job was transferred to Ki-young. Kihyun was allowed to see from afar when his younger brother entered the location and there were even times Kihyun wasn't allowed to accompany Ki-young. There were several policemen on guard. Usually, when other people want to enter the building, the police will check their luggage but strangely when Ki-young said that he wants to meet his mother in the building, the police let him in without checking his luggage.

As time went by, Kihyun felt worried about the job because Ki-young had to replace his place. Sometimes Ki-young whined that he didn't want to do it anymore—it's almost rare, Ki-young was an obedient kid and never even once whined except he felt sick—and Hajoon got furious. His crying would only stop when Kihyun accompanied him to sleep and sang a song to him.

“Hyung, I don't want to deliver goods anymore. Those people are terrible.” Kihyun didn't know what kind of scenery Ki-young had seen there because his younger brother was always silent whenever Kihyun asked him. Until one day, Ki-young acted weird. He said he would do the work again because Hanjoon asked him to. But at night when Kihyun sang him a song, he said that it was a fun day because he played soccer with kids his age in the park. Even though Kihyun knew for sure that there is no park around the apartment they live in and Ki-young went to deliver the goods that day. When he fell asleep, Kihyun noticed that there were many bruises on his younger brother's upper arm.

“Hajoon-hyung. What happened to Ki-young when Hyung accompanied him? Why are there bruises on his body?” Kihyun had reached his teenage age, he was starting to be able to think about many things by himself. He also gained a lot of knowledge from television as well as the books he read in the town's small library—the people in the library taught him how to read.

“He stumbled while walking in a dark place. You think too much, Kihyun.”

Kihyun knew for sure that Hajoon was hiding something. He became more temperamental than usual especially when Ki-young refused to deliver goods. Sometimes he even threatened to abandon the two brothers and didn’t want to think of them as a family anymore. Ki-young cried because he loved Hajoon so much. Days passed and Kihyun got even more scared because there were so many wounds on Ki-young's body and his brother didn't understand anything every time he was asked.

One day, Kihyun insisted on doing the job again with the excuse that Ki-young was sick—he ordered Ki-young to play sick—but because there was no other choice, the supplier of the goods ended up using Kihyun. It was then he secretly looked through the contents of the bag and found a very ordinary item;  _ fine grains almost like salt without smell at all.  _ Kihyun tried to taste the item. In the next second, Kihyun was home and he didn't remember anything that happened that day.

“I told you so many times don’t look inside the bag!” Hajoon hit Kihyun in the face. Ki-young cried loudly and tried to become his brother's shield. Several times his small body got a hard kick from Hajoon as Kihyun fell. “I'm in trouble because of you!”

That's when Kihyun understood that he and his younger brother had only been used by Hajoon all this time. He didn't really acknowledge them as a family and he was kind enough to cheat their innocence. Kihyun imagined a lot of things, especially about everything that happened to Ki-young.

“Hyung, I'm scared. Why is Hajoon-hyung being so mean? Is it because Ki-young opened the bag?” His words were spoken without him realizing it and Kihyun could finally guess what was going on. Ki-young was scared to the point he cried every night even Kihyun couldn't stop his tears just by singing. Like, Kihyun's voice couldn’t be medicine for his younger brother anymore because he couldn’t sing it wholeheartedly.

His Ki-young was terrified and Kihyun needed to do something.

Kihyun decided to leave the apartment and stay away from Kim Hajoon's existence. However, the deed was in vain. As soon as they managed to get out of the apartment that night, several mobs came and ambushed them. Kihyun lost consciousness and the last thing he remembered was Ki-young's screams calling out his name. When his consciousness returned, Kihyun opened his eyes slowly but his head still felt heavy. As he remembered, the sun was dim because the sky was cloudy. He heard several man voices speaking harshly.

“They're still not awake, huh,” The voice, which was rather deep and husky, came first. There was a sound of stomping there. Kihyun was half-conscious, he could see there were ten pairs of legs before his eyes. “Why the heck do you find troublesome kids like them?”

“It can't be helped. The boss told us to hurry to find a deliverer and that's when I found them.” Kihyun could hear Hajoon's voice clearly.

“The big boss is mad. He ordered us to kill them.”

“Are you out of your mind? We could go to prison if we did!” Hajoon shouted.

“Why are you scared?” The man with a deep voice pushed Hajoon's body. He spoke as if he had a higher position. “We work with people who are scarier than prisons.”

Kihyun woke up wide-eyed after hearing the word “kill”. He immediately looked for Ki-young and his brother was still unconscious lying beside him. Kihyun tried to wake up his younger brother by shaking his body before those people realized that Kihyun was awake. At that time, Kihyun's eyes were trying to find a location gap. They were in a refurbished old building like a warehouse and part of the roof was open so that sunlight could enter.

“Hyung?” Ki-young's weak voice made Kihyun panic. The crowd there immediately turned their heads and realized that they had woken up. It turned out that there were only 5 people there, one of them was Hajoon. In addition, Kihyun saw four other people in the supplier’s residence before.

“Hey, they wake up!”

Kihyun hugged his brother with all his might. He tried to run away but his younger brother wasn’t fully conscious. He almost dragged his younger brother in panic. The two biggest men caught Kihyun. Hanjoon and one other person got Ki-young. They separated the brothers by a considerable distance.

“Please, please, don't hurt him!” Kihyun tried to escape from the confinement of two big men but their grip was so tight that it made marks on the skin of Kihyun's hands. Terrified tears rolled down his cheeks as he saw Ki-young was crying.

"Hyung, Kihyun-hyung!" Ki-young was crying so loud. He tried to look at Hanjoon for help but the man looked away. Meanwhile, the man with Hajoon bent Ki-young's hand as if it was broken. Ki-young gave a shrill scream, his fingers felt numb. “It's hurt, hyung.”

“DON'T HURT HIM!” Kihyun stomped his body and got out of their grip. He ran as fast as possible to reach his younger brother. But the two men successfully caught him again.

“Shut up! We're in trouble because of you! Did you hear that?” One of them kicked Kihyun's stomach until he gasped and fell. He vomited his stomach guts and blood. Meanwhile, another person beat his face until it bled. That man grabbed Kihyun's hair and hit his head on the asphalt. His body shook and collided violently. Blood poured out of his temples and ran down to Kihyun's eyes and face. “Why can't you do your job well? You'd better die to ease our burdens!”

Ki-young cried unbearably. He kept calling his brother's name. Kihyun felt his eyes begin to disperse and darker. Blood poured out until it was no longer felt. A big hand was wrapped around his neck, slowly but surely restricting the supply of air, too tight for him to breathe, took away his entire soul. All of his neck veins popped out to paint a tree line along the neck. His feet kicked in the air. His hand grabbed the bigger hand, trying to release the grip. His sight faded, only the colors slowly turned to pure white. Kihyun strangled, his face began to turn blue.

_ I’ll die. I’ll die. I’ll die. I'm scared of death. _

“Hey, hey, stop it!” Hajoon released his grip on Ki-young and pushed the man who choked Kihyun. “He's going to die.”

The man who was choking Kihyun loosened his grip. Kihyun’s body was shocked and trying to find safety and take a deep breath. He coughed weakly but couldn't get up.

“Are you defending him? The boss ordered us to finish him off. Do you want to be his replacement?”

“But…”

“Hey, Hajoon.” The man with the deep voice interrupted. Since earlier he was just watching them. It seems that he was the leader of the four men. “You do it. Kill them.”

“What? I—”

“You can't do it?” He glared at Hajoon. He took out a knife from his pocket and threw it at Hanjoon's feet. “You're the one who caused the trouble, you're in charge.” Hajoon looked at the knife for a few minutes. He took the knife doubtfully. The knife was so long and shiny. The glow of the light showed how sharp it was as if the air could be split open by it. Hajoon looked at the image of himself becoming a monster in the knife reflection.

“Kill the younger one first. He's the first trouble maker.”

_ No. _

Hajoon walked slowly towards Ki-young. Another man lifted his younger brother's body.

“Please don't.” His voice was hoarse and trembling. His cough was getting worse.

_ No. _

Kihyun pulled one of the man's pants and his body tried to get up.

“Please don't hurt him.” He pleaded repeatedly. He begged so many times.

_ No. _

The man kicked his body until it fell helplessly. The other man continued to kick his thin body.

_ No. _

Slowly but surely. The knife danced in the air. The iron reflected in the sunlight covered in clouds blinded his eyes. Kihyun could only pant. His body was so weak. His sight was filled with blood-red and dark cliffs in the future.

_ He said that he wants me to be a singer in the future. I must sing for him now so he can sleep and forget everything. But now… Ki-young is crying and asking me for help. Ki-young is going to die. No. He needs me. He only has me. Wake up! You idiot get up! Get up you stupid body! No. Please no. Please don't hurt him. _

It was a nightmare that haunted his life as the knife fell to the ground.

Pain throughout the body. The sight was fading. Head felt so light. Slowly Kihyun began to lose consciousness.

“I'm sorry I can't do it.” Hajoon dropped the knife. His head kept shaking non-stop. He turned and walked impatiently towards the man with the deep voice. “Hey, Ryung-soo, we can't kill them.”

“Why?”

Hajoon tried to convince him. Kihyun could see it vaguely. “As you said, we work with people who are even scarier than prison. If we kill them and their bodies are found, they won’t hesitate to sacrifice us.”

The man named Ryung-soo seemed to agree with some of the points made by Hajoon. “So what are you trying to say?”

“How about we give them the drugs in high doses so they forget everything? Then we throw them somewhere far away.”

Kihyun didn't know what happened next. He could only feel his body ache and shake. In the next moment, it seemed like he was having a beautiful dream. Ah, it's true that all of this was just a dream. Hajoon was kidding. Ki-young whined because he wanted to play outside the apartment. Meanwhile, dizziness was caused by drowsiness. Yes, like that. Kihyun sure, when he woke up, the reality would be different. Real reality must be more beautiful than this floating feeling.

“I’m sorry, Kihyun. I love both of you.”—That was the last sentence he heard before finally losing his consciousness. Kihyun fell asleep without knowing that his nightmare had started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I told you once again. You never expect this. Maybe you wouldn't have thought this chapter would be like this. Kihyun's past is shown little by little for mystery’s sake. Actually, I wanted to write Kihyun's past until the end of this chapter but it turned out too long. So I decided to make it into 2 parts: Chapter 11 and 12. Besides, Kihyun and Hyunwoo's past will be written at a faster pace, Therefore maybe the description will be different than the previous chapter. Something will happen to Showki in Chapter 13 and Hyunwoo’s past will begin in Chapter 14.
> 
> The last scene was Kihyun's nightmare that made him insomnia for years. So, if you think Kihyun is just pretending, he’s not. Actually, Hajoon loved both of them, that's why he couldn't kill them.
> 
> Sorry, this story is not a fluffy type and leads to angst and dark. I just wanted to warn you. I’m sorry for the late update, too. This work drained my brain so much because of the complicated storyline. I need a quiet place to write this.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who supports this work. I’m sorry for the lack of story.


	12. Delusional; The New Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't finish Kihyun's past in this chapter.

This should be just a dream. Supposedly, when he woke up, the sound of a kid's laughter filled the room and an older brother sat there with him enjoying his favorite peanut butter bread.

However, all of those fond memories could be the dream while the reality was right before his eyes.

Kihyun was lying on the cold asphalt. He opened his eyes slowly in difficulty. His head felt so heavy and when his hand reached for his head, there were sticky wet liquids. He looked at the palm with a look of shock. His palms were stained with half-dry blood. Shaking. “What happened to me? Wa—Why am I bleeding?”

It was so dark there and there was a sound of water splashing. He looked around for something, but what was he looking for? He couldn't quite remember what had happened to him a few hours ago. Only the faint voice of someone said “Take care of yourself and go away.”

He was under a wide bridge and the passageway connected to a river. He didn't know where he was. It was quiet there, but the bridge over it sounded a little bit crowded. It seemed that it was already night.

“What are you doing here?” A girl voiced in confusion as he walked closer to Kihyun. She came from an unknown direction and suddenly noticed Kihyun’s whereabouts. She seemed into a panicked state as she noticed there was so much blood in Kihyun’s head. “Oh my God! You’re bleeding!”

Kihyun was suddenly back away as the girl came over. Somehow he had this kind of an unknown alert feeling but he didn’t know why he did it. He just couldn’t remember well. His head still felt dizzy and drowsiness overpowered his body. The choking sensation was heavy against his neck. “Back off!” His hand waved in the air to stop the girl’s movement.

“Don’t worry. I’m not a suspicious person. Oh my God, you must be one of the thug victims around here right. Did they beat you?” She became more panicked as she noticed that the bleeding wound still opened and fresh blood flew out. “I’ll call an ambulance, okay?” She tried to find her phone in her carry bag. Her hands were shaking as she pushed the button numbers to make a call. “Where are you living? I’ll call your family, too.” 

Kihyun was confused. He couldn’t remember anything at that time. His head felt so hurt as he tried to remember and his breath became rushing. “I—I don’t know.”

It was the first time Kihyun met her: Park Hyerin.

The place was rarely passed by people but Hyerin often passed that road as a shortcut to her house which was across the river. Recently, there was news about many thugs who robbed people on the street, injuring them around the place and leaving the victim unconscious under the bridge.

In the end, Hyerin took Kihyun to a nearby hospital. The hospital was quite small but had sufficient facilities for Kihyun's treatment. Kihyun had to undergo several stitches on his temple and he was treated for three days in the hospital under the name Park Hyerin because when the girl asked about Kihyun's identity, he couldn't answer and was confused. Based on the results of the doctor's examination, it is most likely that Kihyun had a mild concussion due to a hard impact on his head, and in his bloodstream was found to contain the drug named Scopolamine in severe doses which made him experience brief amnesia. Scopolamine is also a dangerous narcotic that criminals often use to commit crimes so that victims don't remember what happened to them. Such was the doctor's explanation to Hyerin at that time.

After learning about it, Hyerin took Kihyun to her house and lived there with her and her parents. In addition, Hyerin reported about Kihyun's condition to the police for an investigation but because Kihyun's memory had not yet recovered, the investigation was difficult. Until then, who Kihyun's identity was and where he came from was a big mystery to Hyerin.

Even though Kihyun lived with the Park family, he limited himself to an invisible wall that made him difficult to approach. The police suspected that Kihyun was in a traumatic condition that made it difficult for him to trust others and was always alert with unclear intentions. Sometimes when Hyerin called him out for dinner, Kihyun would scream in fear as if something was going to grab him. Kihyun woke up and screamed hysterically in the middle of the night with a frightened face almost every day, he kept holding his neck and gasped for breath even though there was nothing in his room—Kihyun was temporarily sleeping in Hyerin's room at that time and Hyerin slept with her parents.

But one day, after a few months, Kihyun screamed for help in the middle of the night, Hyerin and her parents went to the room in a panic and found Kihyun sweating profusely and covering his ears in the corner of the bed. When his eyes saw the arrival of the family, Kihyun approached Hyerin, pleading hoarsely, and said something surprising.

“Please, help him. Those people want to kill my little brother. Please help him. Please I’m begging you,” Kihyun said while sobbing. He grabbed Hyerin's shirt and knelt on the floor begging.

“Kihyun,” Hyerin’s mother sat beside him and hugged his trembling body. The father and Hyerin were there too, waiting for more information. But they needed more time to make Kihyun speak because he was terrified and anxious about the others. “Can you tell us everything you remember now? So we can help you.”

Since then, finally, Kihyun began to remember about himself and his younger brother after months of experiencing sleepless nights and severe depression. Even though he started to remember, his memories were hazy at first. He could only remember everything about his younger brother and their miserable childhood days on the first day. And then, he remembered about Hajoon the other day. As time went by, finally, everything around him brought him back to the past especially when he felt kindness from Hyerin and her family little by little.

Yeah, Hyerin and her family are good people. Kihyun felt comfortable around them and finally, he opened his heart to them as time went by. Because of their sincerity toward Kihyun and his messed-up mind. But it couldn’t solve the problem.

“If you keep saying that your brother is in danger but you don’t know what happens, it’s so difficult for us.” One of the policemen exclaimed as he interrogated Kihyun. Kihyun kept spinning around with his words like ‘they want to kill him’, ‘they make us consume something’, ‘i don’t remember where it is’, or ‘they choked me’. But, Kihyun didn’t know how to explain those memories because it was looping around in the scene when he felt a big hand choking his neck. As he wanted to explain, those sensations came and made Kihyun breathless.

“But, sir. Hajoon-hyung and his friends were there. Th—they hurt Ki-young. They broke his bones. They—they kicked me, choked me, hit my head to the ground.” Kihyun gasped in a heavy breath. There was also Hyerin who accompanied him to the police department because he would panic when he left behind alone with strangers.

“We understand, kid. This Kim Hajoon and your brother Ki-young. You delivered some suspicious goods. We get it.” The policeman exclaimed in a persistent tone. “But, we need to know the location. Where do you come from? Any hints are okay, kid. Name of the streets, or maybe what kind of building, or anything.” 

“I don’t know,” His eyes were wandering around. His voice sounded depressed and hopeless. “It’s just kind of an abandoned warehouse, and we deliver goods to big and tall buildings.” He said it as he clenched his fists. He tried so hard to remember but it was useless. The reality seemed to be his enemy.

It had been 3 hours since the policeman kept asking about the location and where Kihyun came from but Kihyun could only tell the same thing over and over again in the unordered timeline: his younger brother was in danger, Kim Hajoon wanted to hurt them, they did bad things and the abandoned warehouse. There was no information about their apartment location or even the specific district. Kihyun should have known but he couldn’t remember it well.

The policeman sighed tiredly. “Okay, also it’s difficult for us to find your sibling if you don’t have any photos or something which can prove that he is real. Your description of him isn't enough because we don't know how much you remember him. It's possible that you remember his self maybe in 1 year ago or even the worst 5 years ago because of your memory loss which is it's possible to have different conditions now.” The policeman started to question Kihyun's way of thinking because of his confusing information. Kihyun and his younger brother hadn’t had any legal identities because they were supposed to be abandoned, homeless children. Hajoon never registered them as family members, too. So practically, Kihyun and Ki-young were legally unidentified. Their personal information couldn't be found in police databases and as the addition, the two siblings were a minor.

“What? Are you—are you doubting me?” Kihyun stared at the man in disbelief. His breath and choked voice indicated emotional distress.

“I’m not,” The man shook his head. He patted Kihyun’s hands on the interrogation table. “But we need to prove that you’re not imagining things on your own. Because your medical report told us that you’re under some drugs before.”

His voice was wrecking and his hand started to sweat, “I told you so many times that they made us consume the—I don’t know what is that!” Kihyun stood up abruptly. He was about to cry. He yelled, “It’s not my imagination! I won’t ever forget my own sibling’s face!! I won’t ever!!”

“Kihyun, please calm down, okay?” Hyerin reached his hand and stroked it gently to make Kihyun calm down. But to no avail. His teeth began to grind. He chewed his thumbnail restlessly. “You can do it." She stared worriedly. If Kihyun couldn't calm down, it would make his distress go stronger.

Hyerin turned her attention to the policeman and her hand still caressed Kihyun's, “Please, Can you do something about it? Kihyun is trying so hard every day to get back his memories, please understand that.”

“Miss, we do the jobs based on facts and logical thinking. We can't involve feelings in them. So, it doesn't mean we don't understand his feelings but we need more information to investigate further. Also, this is a small police office and we lack in many aspects.” The man peeked at Kihyun who was leaning against the wall. A teenager his age already experiencing such an anxiety disorder actually made him feel sympathy. “We will do our best with current information. Since currently, the strongest clue lies with Kim Hajoon, we’ll try to obtain a database of citizens with the same name. We will inform you if we get those data.”

After a long interrogation, Kihyun finally felt a hint of hope rising in his heart. However, it was not that easy. After nearly two weeks of the police providing and collecting data, finally, Kihyun was called to the police station to identify Kim Hajoon's face, which might be in the database of citizens in South Korea who have the same name.

“We got this data from the police center. There are about 10 thousand people who meet Kihyun's explanation such as eye color, height, and age. Are you able to do it?” Kihyun nodded enthusiastically as he felt hope crawling under his skin. Identifying faces from the data of 10,000 people wasn’t easy, especially for Kihyun who was experiencing an anxiety disorder and was currently in recovery therapy. Because those data are confidential, Kihyun was only allowed to observe while being watched by the authorities at the police station. With his mental state getting worse every day, Kihyun could only observe 100 to 200 people per day. A day, two days, three days, a week, a month, passed so fast and even Kihyun had to go to the police station on weekends. One of the Park family would take Kihyun and accompany him all day in a shift because Hyerin couldn’t take him every day because of her busy final semester of college and part-time jobs.

The sound of chopsticks being placed on the bowl was once heard. The bowl of rice and soup was full, he didn't even touch the food at all. It was almost eleven o'clock at night and Kihyun hadn't eaten all day because he was busy identifying faces. He also hadn't taken any prescription medicine. “I think I have to go back to the police station now.” He got up from the chair and walked aimlessly looking for the exit.

“Kihyun,” Hyerin's mother walked over and held his hand so that he didn't go any further from the dining room, “It's late. You haven't eaten and you have to take medicine. Hyerin will take you there tomorrow, okay Son?”

“Soon, soon I'll find him. Maybe after this.” He shook his head and imagined the achievement was before his eyes even though there was actually no data left to identify and Kim Hajoon’s face was still a mystery that was kept in Kihyun's mind. “I'll definitely find him after this. I will. I promise. I’ll prove to them that I’m not delusional.” His eyes moved in different directions looking for certainty in doubt.

Hyerin’s mother cried and hugged his weak body, “Kihyun, You need to accept it. Please, Son. You gonna break yourself if you do this.” But Kihyun didn't even listen. His mind wandered around to the dreamland where there was hope for him to find Ki-young. “Kihyun, Kihyun, look at me.” She cupped Kihyun’s cheeks and stared into his teary eyes. “You need to be strong. Life will be forever cruel if you don't get stronger. We’re here for you.” Her touch was gentle. The touch of a mother that Kihyun had craved for all his life. He burst into tears. Why when he finally can feel the touch of a mother's affection, there was no Ki-young with him?

“What should I do? I think there is no meaning for me to be alive.”

The investigation met a dead end. Kihyun couldn’t find Kim Hajoon’s identity in the bunch of data. The police guessed several possibilities: Kim Hajoon wasn’t the person's real name, or Kim Hajoon had died, or Kim Hajoon was just Kihyun's delusional image. These three possibilities lead the situation to a vacuum and are meaningless to find out.

With the clogged-up investigation and information, finally, Yoo Ki-young's existence was considered to have never existed and was only a long-term effect of depression and the influence of narcotics on Kihyun's brain work system. Kihyun was recommended to undergo intense rehabilitation therapy for his physical and mental condition.

“They don’t believe me,” Kihyun cried over his cruel fate. The tears couldn’t stop running down the cheeks. Who knows how long he cried because he felt useless and helpless all this time. He sat curled up on the bed and Hyerin sat on his knees on the floor, crying too. “I can't possibly forget about Ki-young. He's a kind and obedient boy. He—he's my only family—” His words broke off on the tip of his tongue due to the shaking of unbearable tears. “His little hands, his sharp nose, his laughter, everything. I can still remember him clearly. He rarely cries. He always asks me to sing him a song. He wants me to be a singer. He's not my imagination. He's not, _noona._ ”

“Kihyun,” Hyerin burst into tears. She walked over and hugged Kihyun as she caressed his head. “We truly believe you. We know Ki-young lives within you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about everything even though we promise to help you.”

Since then, Kihyun had been living like an empty shell. He underwent treatment recommendations from the police for free because of his status as an abandoned child and a government dependent. Actually, the treatment wasn't really useful for him but the assistance from the Park family gave him the motivation to stay up from adversity for the sake of his younger brother. No one ever realized that Kihyun was still having nightmares with the same choking scene but the frequency was reduced due to the supervision of the Park family. When he missed Ki-young so much, Kihyun would hum Ki-young's favorite Christmas carol all night. Slowly but surely, his true self formed a new hope: _If there is no one who can help me, then the only one who can be a reliable person is myself._

“I want to be a singer. Is there a way to do it?”

Hyerin's parents were surprised at the confession when they were having dinner together that night. A big smile formed on every face of the family members as Kihyun said that. They considered Kihyun to have the spirit of life once again. Time had slowly healed his wounds and brought him to a new, aspiring life step.

“I don't know if this is timely news,” Hyerin exclaimed while prancing on the chair. She clapped her hands aggressively in excitement. “A few days ago I got an email, there is a music agency in Seoul called me for an interview.” She smiled excitedly. She turned her head and looked at Kihyun with shining eyes, “If I work there, maybe I can easily get information about trainee recruitment.”

“Really?” Hyerin's father asked, nodding his head happily as he heard that. He patted Kihyun's shoulder gently. “That could be your chance too, Kihyun.”

The mother felt a little restless and worried, “But Seoul is quite far from here. If you work there, you will have to stay away from us.”

Hyerin lowered her head. It was also something she had been thinking about for the past few days. But working in the entertainment world was her dream. Of course, she wouldn’t spare the opportunity. “I'm sorry, Mom, Dad, but I couldn't pass up this opportunity.” Her face shone with hope, “I think I can take Kihyun and live there. Kihyun can also attend a free school in Seoul compared to this rural city. Kihyun, what do you think?”

Kihyun nodded and smiled a little, “Yes, I think it’s great.”

At that time, Kihyun was 17 years old and Hyerin was 25 years old. Both of them moved to Seoul after Hyerin had a successful interview at the agency office. Their life was quite good with Hyerin's current jobs. They lived in a nice cheap apartment in the same district as the agency building. Hyerin enrolled Kihyun in a free school to learn reading, writing, and general knowledge. In the school, there were many teenagers with different age ranges from poor families who were the government’s responsibility. The children were gathered by a social organization in the city of Seoul. Kihyun met many teenagers his age, even Ki-young's. The teacher was also kind and the classmates were good children. Kihyun learned many things from them and was motivated to become a better and stronger person.

Kihyun lived his life well even though the shadow of his younger brother is deep regret. After living in Seoul for a year, Kihyun finally tried to open up to other people. He was looking for part-time jobs to help with his daily needs. With the money too, Kihyun traveled to many places. _Who knows maybe he'll run into Ki-young on the street?_ Seoul is a busy city. There are many tall buildings with a modern atmosphere. Those buildings reminded Kihyun of the location of delivering the mysterious item.

One day, the long wait for his new hope came. Hyerin rushed to their small apartment breathless and with an excited face. She exclaimed, “Kihyun! I have good news! Maybe, with this opportunity, you can become a singer!”

“Really?” Kihyun got up and ignored his dinner.

“Yes! The agency I'm working with now is recruiting new trainees.” She held Kihyun's hands happily, “I've also shown a video of you singing to the audition judges, they love it and they want you to audition right away. I'm sure you can do it!”

“Thank you! Thank you very much!” Kihyun was happy. Finally, finally. The chance comes. If he could be a singer, maybe, Ki-young would hear his voice. Maybe Ki-young was somewhere and Kihyun’s song could reach his place, and they could meet again. Being a singer was Ki-young’s wish for Kihyun.

It was an easy audition for Kihyun. His talent was beyond expectation. The judges love him so much. Even so, Kihyun should undergo a training period to perfect his talents according to the public’s taste and of course, the professional world. Therefore, Kihyun had to stay apart from Hyerin for a while but they could still meet at the agency building. Kihyun lived in the dorm provided by the agency along with 15 other trainees. At that time, Kihyun met Lee Minhyuk and Chae Hyungwon.

“Lee Minhyuk,” He held out his hand to dumbfounded Kihyun. Minhyuk is a cheerful and passionate person. His personality surprised Kihyun at first. His presence himself was a contradiction to Kihyun’s presence at the time. “You can call me Minhyuk. From now on we will be living in the same room, so let’s get along.” As Kihyun shook his hand, Minhyuk’s attention turned to the tallest young man sitting on the floor. “And he is Chae Hyungwon. You can call him Turtle because he is too slow.”

“Damn you,” Hyungwon kicked his heel. Kihyun smiled as he saw it. “Just call me Hyungwon. Don’t add unnecessary things and don’t listen to this puppy’s bullshit.” Hyungwon is a typical person who looks ignorant on the outside but Kihyun could see how good their friendship is.

“Don’t be surprised, okay. Hyungwon and I have been together for too long so maybe you will see how messy we are.” Minhyuk laughed as he walked past Kihyun to start tidying up his own belongings.

Minhyuk and Hyungwon are good people, Kihyun could see it clearly. So, he tried to open up to them even though there was also a great wall between them due to Kihyun’s anxiety. Since he lived away from Hyerin and her parents, the nightmare often came. He often woke up in the middle of the night breathless as he remembered those frightening moments: _Kihyun was hopelessly watching a knife waving in the air and nearly stabbed his own sibling._ His mental state became more fragile when there was no Hyerin there. And also, because the trainees had different goals compared to Kihyun. Their personalities were clashing with each other, so sometimes it gave more stress to Kihyun. Due to the rising frequency of nightmares, Kihyun worked his ass off to a dangerous level to distract himself from any mental disturbance and often being alone all the time because he couldn’t get along with other trainees. There were many trainees jealous of him because they thought Kihyun was so arrogant even though there was no meaning for him to work so hard because he got the best talent there. 

“Can you slow down a bit, Kihyun?” Minhyuk said as he looked at the clock when Kihyun stepped into their room. It was almost midnight. Hyungwon overheard the conversation even though he faced the wall. “Why are you so rushing like that? You’ll get sick if you train yourself until midnight every day.”

Kihyun chose silence. He never once answered Minhyuk’s question even though the man always asked almost every time. Sometimes, Kihyun felt glad that Minhyuk seemed worried about him but he also didn’t want to bother them with his messed up mental state. It was almost three years being a trainee, Kihyun was desperate to the point every time he looked at his own reflection in the dancing room his whole body trembled and he lost his confidence. He cried alone in the corner of the room when there was no one. _‘Can I debut to be a singer with this bad singing technique and also a mental illness? Can I meet Ki-young once again? If I don’t go fast, he’s in danger.’_ He kept asking himself those questions.

“Kihyun—” Minhyuk grabbed his shoulder as Kihyun tried to divert to another direction. But Kihyun was persistent until finally, the cheerful Minhyuk got so mad. “Answer me you brat!”

Hyungwon got up from his bed to hold Minhyuk’s movement, “Minhyuk, don’t force him like that.” He shook his head as their gaze met.

“How long do I need to wait, huh, Hyungwon? This messed-up brat is hopeless. He doesn't even care how worried we are!” Actually, Kihyun always noticed how much they care for him. Minhyuk always asked him if he had dinner. He was always there to invite Kihyun to do random talk when he noticed Kihyun was sad. Hyungwon was always there listening and silently giving him attention, or he would make some jokes to melt the dark situation.

Hyungwon sighed heavily. “Kihyun, I’ll go straight to the point. I hope you can open your heart to us.” He took Minhyuk’s hand to let go of Kihyun's shoulder. Then, he sat back to the bed as his eyes kept looking at Kihyun's downed face. “We noticed, you often woke up in the middle of the night screaming for help. You’re crying until dawn. Don’t change the subject. I know you're trying to hide it. We're not stupid.”

As Minhyuk tried to remember how painful was Kihyun’s crying in the night, his anger muffled. “Please, Kihyun, you can tell us. At least, let us help you by listening to your problem. You’re not alone. We’re here.”

Those words melted Kihyun’s anxiety and changed to a heartbreaking cry. Minhyuk was there, hugging his body and Hyungwon was there, caressing his head softly as the story was passed to them. How cruel the world is to Kihyun. But after that, he found the meaning of true best friends. His best friends are always there even when Kihyun doubts himself.

It had been four years since they were trainees but there was no sign that the agency wanted to debut them. There were so many rumors spread around the trainees such as a financial problem, or something like hierarchy problems inside the company’s organization. Those rumors made Kihyun feel hopeless, sometimes he asked Hyerin about it but she couldn’t even know what was wrong with the company because she was an ordinary staff member. It made Kihyun’s state get worse. He went blank most of the time. He lacked spirit. He didn’t even listen to Minhyuk’s blabbering or Hyungwon’s question. His body was there but his mind immersed in the darkness. Day by day, little by little, Kihyun became the empty shell once again.

“Do you hear the rumor?” One of the trainees named Donghee whispered to Minhyuk. They were having lunch in the dancing room while watching television there. They often watched television to get some news during the break. Kihyun was there with his mind going out of his body. He played with his own lunch and didn’t even eat it.

“What kind of rumor?” Minhyuk replied as he chewed his rice messily. Their gossip session was overlapping each other to the news anchor’s voice.

**_(News anchor’s voice:) “This case involving the grandson of politician Lee shocked the public—”_ **

“There is a rumor that the company will choose a few trainees to debut due to government demand,” Donghee lowered his voice. He bent over his body to limit people to their gossip, especially the coaches. Minhyuk scrunched his face confusingly. Hyungwon didn’t even try to listen to them because he was busy watching the television. “Yes, This is done to diversify the case involving politician Lee’s grandson.”

**_(News anchor’s voice:) “Many people in the community staged mass protests—”_ **

“Oh my God. Is that true?” Minhyuk almost shouted but Donghee tried to shut his mouth. 

**_(News anchor’s voice:) “The conference which was held last night successfully attracted public attention, especially the apology statement from the bodyguard of politician Lee's grandson.—”_ **

“I don’t know,” Donghee shook his head. He shifted to get closer to Minhyuk. “But all the trainees silently talk about it and try to find information.”

“Time’s up! All trainees please move to other rooms. We’ll do more vocal training now! You have to work harder! Faster!” One of the coaches yelled across the room and successfully turned everyone's attention. Kihyun walked weakly out of the room together with the people’s flow without knowing a reality was being revealed to the entire universe of South Korean society.

**_“—I, Son Hyunwoo, personally sincerely apologize to the public about the incident related to Lee Changkyun. Through this conference, I declare my resignation as the bodyguard of the Lee family.”_ **

The room was half-empty. There were only some coaches watching the news. The television screen featured videos from the conference as well as photos of members of the Lee family.

One of the coaches said, “I heard that politician Lee’s grandson is going to work in this company. The older one.”

“Yes, I heard that, too. But maybe it'll be suspended due to the incident.”

“Hm, too bad. He's a talented producer. I can't wait to cooperate with him. I thought he would be the music producer for the trainees’ debut. But it seems not like that due to the case.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely say sorry to you guys. I don’t expect that I need one more chapter for Kihyun’s past.  
> I’m sorry too for the late update. I have a difficult time writing Kihyun’s past due to the fast-paced and skipping time storyline. I realize that I’m suck at fast-paced stories because I need to make sure that the story goes well with the timeline.
> 
> The next chapter will be the moment Kihyun became a singer and finally met Hyunwoo. I’ll tell you how he did the threatening letter things until finally he got caught by Hyunwoo.
> 
> So, thank you to everyone who supports this story. I hope I don’t make you disappointed. Bye.


End file.
